Post # 1
Here some back ground
Ive been friends with a girl for about 15 years. Our relatonship has always been alittly rocky because she is quite dramatic and drags everyone into her revolving problems. Now I have been there for her consistantly through the years with her monthly breakups, fights with other friends and daily problems. But having a baby I just couldnt keep up with her drama, so I backed off again. We dont hang out as much or talk, but I still consider her a friend and would try to be there for her in small doses. I sent her an email because she hadnt rsvp’s to the wedding or bacholerette party. She responded and said “She will not be attending either” with no reason I wrote her back and said that sucked and ask her why. She wouldnt respond. Now I am racking my brain thinking what have I done to her now to make her mad enough not to come to my wedding and not even give me a reason (another side note- she will start fights over little things and bash me on facebook and what not, so Im not surprised by this)
Anyways a mutal friend talked to her and stated I have not been a good friend to her for years and she cant take it anymore. She said that I told her I would give her my daughters old clothes and I didnt. She cant believe because of her “situation” that I didnt give them to her. I cant believe it. How childish is that? Since when do I have the responsibilty to clothe her daughter. I wrote her and stated I had some clothes to give away and if she wanted to look at them on the day of my daughters birthday she could. I had other friends who wanted to look at them too. I told them all I had to get rid of the clothes so basically first come first serve. She came over to my daughters birthday and forgot to look at them. And a week went by and she didnt say anything about the clothes . Two friends came over and took the clothes.
Seriously I never told her I would hold them for her, I even told her most of the clothes wouldnt fit her daughter because they are almost the same size (they are only 2 months apart) and if she really wanted the clothes she should of picked them up.
Im not sure why I am even wasting my time to write this, its been soo draining being her friend and I shouldnt be surprised by her actions. Side note – Her situation is that she’s a single mom who lives with her parents, works full time, has her daughter’s daycare supplement by the government and pays no bills at home. She has more money than I do. But she using the single mom thing to gain sympthy. Her mother raises her daughter.
Argh I am soo made and want to write her the nastist message and put her in the place. But in the end it will only make matters worse. So I decided not to confront her and just delete her off facebook and move on.
Post # 3
perhaps thats all you can do .. is move on.
i think you are right not to write the nasty message
Post # 4
Just move on. Sometimes there comes a point in life where maintaining a friendship takes more energy than it is worth.
Post # 5
It sounds as if your friendship is very one sided. I think this is a perfect time to let the friendship run it’s course. If she doesn’t want to be a part of your life, then be happy that it will now be drama free!
Post # 6
Honestly I would just move on from it. IF someone rsvps no to an event I dont really think they have to explain themselves. Some friends drift apart over time, its normal and even expected in some cases
Post # 7
I dealt with the samething.. Sometimes when a person is a childhood friend you out grown them. Although, it’s hard to let go…you have to do whats going to make YOU happy and stressfree.
She may come along..but..girl….don’t worry about it.
I ended up sending the person an email just stating how I felt. That way..I could have a peace of mind..
People’s expectation of a friend can sometimes be FAR beyond what your willing to give or even need to give.
Let’s face it..they are not your boyfriend, FH or paying your bills.
So, why must one give so much or yet alone have those high expectations…
So my advice…”let go”
Post # 8
Luda hates it when folks act a fool.
Post # 9
@helenberrycrunch: Sorry to threadjack but I LOVE that man! Lol.
OP – It may be helpful to write a letter to this friend laying it all out and then burn it before sending. Just a little something I do sometimes and it helps to get it out of my head (and heart). Good luck to you with your upcoming wedding.
Post # 10
@helenberrycrunch: That is ludacris.
OP’s story is ludicrous.
Post # 11
@GoldfishPie: I big puffy heart you!
Post # 12
@GoldfishPie: Just an illustration of difference… lol
Post # 13
Let the friendship go, and I use that word very loosely. If it isn’t give and take then it isn’t a healthy relationship.
I had to let a friend go and while at first it is frustrating and painful eventually you will enjoy being drama free. Just think of all the additional time you will have to spend with people that appreciate you and your friendship.
As for the letter write it if you must to get it all out, but don’t send it. Sending it will only make you look like the bad guy in the situation when we clearly know you aren’t at fault.
Post # 14
@helenberrycrunch: I am so glad someone did that LOL
Post # 15
As other posters have said, just move on. With wedding planning and a baby, you’ve got WAY bigger fish to fry. If she didn’t talk to you about why she was upset, that’s her problem. You can’t be a mind reader.
Obviously if you’ve invited her be a part of your special day and she declined, that’s her problem. I don’t mean to be offensive here, but IMHO, if she were truly your friend, being upset over something so trivial as baby clothes wouldn’t prevent her from attending your wedding.
I say stop racking your brain trying to figure out what you did wrong because it sounds like this girl has issues. If there was a problem at some point, she should have appropriately addressed it so you could acknowledge it, and move on. Planning a wedding can be stressful, and you don’t need any other stresses in your life right now.
Post # 16
@helenberrycrunch: & @GoldfishPie: i love you both so hard right now.
OP, I’m sorry that your flaky, dramatic friend sucks – definitely drop her from your life, you have a child of your own to worry about without her acting like one!