Tell me to stop being a brat.

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1888 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@208bride:  Stop being a brat.  That said, it sounds like she was just trying to pay you a compliment but it managed to come out all wrong.  In this case I’d say take the intent (way to go!  you’re doing great things and have a great head on your shoulders!) rather than the actual wording.

Post # 4
Member
2057 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia

I agree with your mother. An invitation to witness the beautiful unification of a couple (aka marriage) is a privilege.

I wouldn’t invite her on the pretense that she doesn’t know who you are now.

Post # 5
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee

I don’t think you are being a brat at all. That was a very rude post she made. I wouldn’t want anyone at my wedding that wasn’t genuinely happy for me. 

Post # 6
Member
3442 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

What a biznatch.

Do not invite her.

Post # 7
Member
1235 posts
Bumble bee

Can I ask how old you are? Geez, sorry though! People these days are crazy!

Post # 8
Member
1235 posts
Bumble bee

Is it awful that I would totally say something awful and snide? (Reality, I would WANT to say it but never come through..)

Like “Well at least, someone WANTS to marry me.. We all know the real reason SOME people are single at my age!” <—- I’m probably going to hell for even writing that……

Post # 9
Member
1333 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I agree with your mom as well. If she feels that way, why would you want to include her. She was so incredibly rude, you are reacting reasonably if you don’t invite her. She may eventually ask your mom about it, and it sounds like you mom will give her a piece of her mind.

Post # 10
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Why would you invite her if you haven’t seen her in 12 years and even your mum said not to bother with it? 

Just don’t send one, and if she actually has the balls to ask what happened either say it got lost in the mail or call her out for posting that getting married at your age is a mistake. 

Post # 11
Member
8518 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

I was so ready to tell you to stop being a brat. But I say, be a brat all you want! I wouldnt invite her. Nope. If she asks you why she never recieved it, just tell her that you didnt want her to have to witness a mistake.

Post # 12
Member
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

While I don’t think you replying to her post directly is a good idea, I think you should send her a private message and ask her point blank if she really feels that you getting married is a mistake, letting her know you saw her post and that it really hurt you. And see what she says. For all you know there is some other woman across the country that just got herself knocked up and is getting married because of it. Then again it also could be exactly what it seems like, but I think you should talk to her before you just don’t invite her. (or decide to invite her)

Post # 13
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette Snob here… lol

Ok technically you could take the “higher road” and still send her the STD, as I assume when you were talking to her that you made it clear that was the “purpose” of your call / getting her address

In so much as Polite Etiquette would say, once you give your word on something you follow thru

BUT your Mother is also a wise woman… (lol, Moms often are)

And she is clearly not impressed by what the woman said openly on FaceBook… I assume when you said “posted” that is where you mean…

(Grrrr FaceBook… such a STUPID medium.  I regularly advise people to step away and give it up.  It truly makes for too much DRAMA / TRAUMA in the 3D World… it truly is Jr High on steroids)

Anyhow…

If you haven’t sent her an STD, and she’s your Mom Friend, and your Mom is out there protecting you as her daughter, and doesn’t give a hoot about this woman’s “reasoning” and her not being there… then there you have

FULL ON PERMISSION Not to Invite this dame… she is your Mom’s friend, but your Mom doesn’t care now for her enough to have her there

And altho I am not one to “go against the grain” or speak up (I usually am a turn the other cheek king of girl) there are occasions when I AM HUMAN an think it is appropriate

I WOULD NOT SEND HER AN STD OR AN INVITE

And if it should ever come up in passing (her mentioning it to you or your Mother) that she expected an STD or Invite in the mail, then clearly someone could say:

“Well after your tirade on FB, about people the age of @208bride: getting married as a mistake… we assumed you were clearly not on board with the idea, and as our nearest & dearest Guests were invited to share the day with us, and stand up / support the Marriage … we understandably felt you wouldn’t fit in”

You put your sh!t out there in public, then chances are someone might call you on it … period.

Hope this helps,

PS… Hey you can be thankful she chose to post this rant now… rather than after you send the STD or Invite… this way you truly are free & clear of her.  And can scratch that name off the Guest List and give it to someone more deserving.

Guessing your Mom won’t be quite so close with this woman now… if someone dissed one of my kids like this, there would most certainly be a chasm between us in the future.

 

Post # 15
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@208bride:  Um. I think you’re already being the bigger person by not posting totally warrented snarky remarks. She should not be invited. Rude bitch. 

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