Post # 1
So my best friend from high school is supposed to be the Maid/Matron of Honor in my wedding. Since January, she has been cheating on her husband ( who happens to be a good friend of mine and my wedding DJ) and has moved out and into an apartment. She claims that she wants a divorce but hasn’t filed yet. The other day she sent me a text message giving me an ultimatum. I have to choose her or her husband! I told her from the beginning I wasn’t picking sides and I don’t want to be in teh middle. She wants an answer soon. I don’t want her to be part of my wedding anymore! How do I tell her? How can I have someone witness my wedding vows when that person can’t even keep her own? She broke the vows of marriage! That’s a big deal to me!
Post # 3
It’s a tough situation and she should not be asking you to choose. I think you need to try and be up front with her and say that she’s putting you in a uncomfy position and that you should not have to choose. Or you can just flat out say that you feel more comfy with her husband being there than her. She’ll probably be mad for a while!
Post # 4
It sounds pretty easy to me. It bothers you that she isn’t upholding the vows she made to her husband AND she’s telling you to choose between him and her. Tell her you choose him. It’s a crap situation, but really one of her own making.
Post # 5
What kind of friend would make you choose between her or her husband? Especially when she is cheating on him. Yikes.
I would definitely be choosing the husband over her right now!
Post # 6
She asked you to choose, you are simply doing as she asked. I’m sure she is expecting that you would choose her over him and she will obviously be angry when you tell her your decision but she brought it on her self.
Post # 7
hmmm how much do u want to stay friends?
If u want to remain friends I would not choose either and tell her that u love them both and that u are not taking sides.
As for her being a Maid/Matron of Honor I would explain to her exactly what u said to us, but assure her that she is still every bit as much your friend and that you still care for her. I guess you could liken it to having someone be your child’s God parent who doesn’t believe in God.
Post # 8
My sister had a similar situation. Her FI’s sister’s husband cheated on said sister with my sisters bridesmaid. Confused? lol. It was like an episode of The OC. She just said that she was her friend but in the best interest of everyone being comfortable and happy she couldnt be a bridesmaid anymore. Of course she was upset, but you dont want to look back at your wedding pictures and always regret having her in them!!
Post # 9
Thanks for all the advice everyone!!! Im just gonna have to bite the bullet and tell her the truth. Im going with “miss callalilly” and her words of advice! That is the best interest of everyone being comfortable and happy I think its best that she is not part of my wedding party anymore. Sounds good!! Thanks so much everyone!!
Post # 10
Sounds to me that you know exactly what you need to say! If you don’t agree with her decisions and the way shes living her life (and ruining her husbands) then maybe its time to kick her to the curb, as a Bridesmaid or Best Man and friend. They say you change friends every 7 years…so maybe its time to say goodbye. Maybe once she gets her life together you guys could try to be friends again.
Post # 11
Yikes. Just be honest with her, and tell her that you don’t support her decisions, and that she is acting like a child.