Post # 1
I would really like for my girls to wear the same dress. Because I have five BMs and each one lives in a different city, I can’t go shopping with all of them, but I chose 3 dresses together with the one that lives close by and asked everyone else’s preferences over email/phone. One dress had to go because it does not work for girls with large chests (I suspected this but my BM confirmed it), so now it’s down to two. I’m going to go with the one that the majority prefers.
My problem is, while some girls don’t seem to mind the dresses I picked, there have been some comments that suggest others are not 100% happy.(“What about this one? It’s much cheaper!” and “Do we all have to wear the same one?”) This makes me feel like a horrible bride. Especially because half the girls like one dress and half like the other, so I’m going to upset someone (the two dresses are very different, so really can’t have them both together).
Also, I feel kind of guilty for only looking at David’s Bridal, but since they all live in different places, I need to choose a dress they can try on anywhere. To make things more complicated, two of the girls live outside of the US and will only be back once before the wedding, around Christmas time, so I want to have the dresses chosen by then.
So am I horrible for asking them all to wear the same dress and not finding one that they all love? I wish we could all just go together and hit up like 5 stores, but this is impossible.
PS I thought about buying online, but the girls have hugely different body types so I would want them to be able to try the dress on in real life to make sure it works for all five.
Post # 3
I think you are perfectly justified. I want all of my bridesmaids to wear the same dress, and while I took their opinions into account I was the one who made the final decision and they are all just fine with that
Post # 4
IMHO, wearing a bridesmaid dress that the bride chooses is part of agreeing to be in a wedding! Don’t feel guilty. As long as you aren’t choosing dresses that are well outside of anything they can reasonably afford, there shouldn’t be an issue.
Post # 5
We’re all guilty of this in one way or another, and that is putting way too much thought into some things. If you like the dress you’ve chosen, then go with it. There will be many other details and issues of the wedding to work out so I wouldn’t make it a bigger deal then it has to be.
I brought two of my seven to pick the dress they’ll wear. Like a fellow poster said, when they agreed to be a bridesmaid, they agreed to wear the dress you chose. You did more than probably most people in giving them a vote.
Post # 6
I know exactly how you feel! I am in the SAME boat, with 5 bridesmaids all spread out across the country AND 2 of them don’t live in the U.S. either! So, I DEFINITELY understand your frustration and stress.
I’ve also felt awkward telling my girls to wear the same dress given that everyone has different tastes and body types. But like others have noted: the dress thing comes with the territory of being a bridesmaid. And as my own bridesmaids have told me, they are looking to ME to make the final dress decision.
I think as brides what we can do is take everyone’s feedback into account to ensure the dress we pick is one the bridesmaids will feel comfortable and pretty in, even if it’s not their favorite dress EVER. It sounds like you’re already trying hard to do that!
I like your idea of going with the dress that a majority of the girls like. It’s democratic and as long as it fits the girls well, it’s a good choice. If you are still stressed about it, would you consider picking an alternate style that would go well with this dress so the girls have an option? I myself am considering that option as well (although I am still in the early phase of scoping out bridesmaid dresses).
Best of luck!
Post # 7
As long as you are giving them input on what will work/not work for their body shapes then I think you’re fine (and as a big chested girl, I can say that your busty bridesmaids will thank you!) As long as the dresses are not beyond their comfort zone in terms of modesty and not unreasonably priced (which it sounds like they aren’t) then you shouldn’t have to worry. There will always be people who prefer halter to strapless or prefer red to pink, but in a situation where everyone can’t go shopping together then you can only do so much. I would suggest going shopping with all those who can just to make sure the dress looks the same in real life as it does online.
Post # 8
As a past bridesmaid, I tried to be helpful by giving opinions on which dress, to help the process along. But, I was not 100% on the dress, I just wanted to add some input. I am sure they will be happy with what you choose and maybe they are more flexible than they originally let on.
Post # 9
I personally feel like it’s up to you. I have been in quite a few weddings and never once made a comment about the dress if I didn’t get to choose it. In accepting the role, I was there for the bride to do/ wear what she needed. I smile and say, “oh I could definitely wear it again!” of course, I never have! 😉
Post # 10
thanks for posting this, seriously, this is exactly what i am going through right now! i have 6 bridesmaids (3 live out of state, one lives in state, but on the opposite side and one is in california for work for the entire month of jan!). i had to go this weekend with my sister (my moh) and my other bridesmaid to look at dresses and we ended up putting a downpayment on a dress for both of them and my two cousins (who don’t care about what dress because they are young). i’m having anxiety attacks about telling the two bridesmaids who i can’t go with to try on dresses, that we already picked a dress and color! i’m trying to word things carefully about how i tried to take their issues with dresses into consideration when choosing. i just hope that they are all ok with the dress.