Post # 1
How do I tell people I’m engaged but make it clear – without actually coming out and saying – that they aren’t invited? I want to spread the word but I don’t want certain people thinking they will be invited. Our wedding will be small and I haven’t seen some of these people in YEARS!
Post # 3
You tell them, let them be happy for you, and then mention that you are going to have a very small, intimate wedding. 🙂 They will understand!!! And if they don’t, that is completely their problem and not yours!!! I wouldn’t over stress about this – this is a very happy time in your life, enjoy it!
Post # 4
i agree completely with @teacherbride99. I don’t think everyone expects to be invited either.. don’t sweat it. 🙂
Post # 5
I have the same problem. When I tell some one I’m getting married some of them automatically think they are invited. I always get “Do you have a date for you wedding yet” I say, “Yes June 12, 2010” they say, “Yeah I think that date works for me I’m pretty sure I can make it”. Or one time I got “Invite me to your wedding” but they didn’t give me the address or anything. Then some people ask out of curiosity if it will be a big wedding or a small wedding. I say small so they don’t invite them selves. I think it’s so rude when people assume they will be invited to my wedding. Although I will most likely make the ceremony open to church members if they want to attend.
Post # 6
I had that problem with a few people. Fortunately it was all on facebook so I just ignored it. I’d just tell them you’re engaged and if they ask about any details, tell them you’re having a very small intimate wedding.
Post # 7
Ugh face book. This guy I had a class with in High School a decade ago assumed he was invited to my wedding. Seriously? I just ignored him, but saying you’re having a small intimate wedding sounds like a better response to rude people who automatically assume they are invited.
Post # 8
I just had to break it to a co-worker the other day that she’s not going to be invited and it was soooo awkward! I just try to not bring it up or talk about it unless asked and when it does come up, I mention that it’s going to be a small wedding and for the most part it’s going to be family only. Such an awkward thing!
Post # 9
Thanks everyone for the great advice! Had a few awkward moments but all in all not so bad!
Post # 10
Haha Actually facebook took care of this for me! Well, except for people at work. My coworkers would ask me questions about the wedding a lot but I always felt guilty because in the back of my mind I was thinking abut how I wasn’t inviting them so it was a bit awkward.
Post # 11
post of facebook “working on wedding plans… man i wish i could invite everyone i know… budget/venue/fi/logistics disagree with me…. off to buy a lottery ticket, wish me luck”
Post # 12
Why do you need to tell people about the wedding, at all?
One of those “everything-I-need-to-know-I-learned-in-Kindergarten” concepts, was not to tell other kids about your birthday party unless they were invited. I realize your own wedding is the most exciting of events but, especially at work, it’s really a good idea to limit spreading the word to ONLY those people who really need to get the word. That would be the HR and admin folk who need to set up your benefits and vacation.
The only other people who need to know are social acquaintances who might be send you invitations to sit-down events — those people need to know that you have a fiance who needs to be included. But everyone else? They can be informed after the fact, with a change of status on your face-book page; and email announcing your change-of-name (if you plan to do that) or an engraved announcement dropped in the mail by your maid of honour on her way home from the reception while you and your new husband head off on your honeymoon.
It takes a lot of self-restraint, but I know many women who handle their wedding plans in just this way. They come across as very professional, and also as very ladylike.
Post # 13
May be just mention it to people you speak w ith regularly. In terms of people you are around but might not invite (like coworkers), just avoid mentioning wedding plans. If you get direct questions about the date, try to be as general as possible.
Have you picked a date?
“yes, it’s so exciting.” followed by a change of subject
“in the fall.” followed by a change of subject
“in October.” followed by a change of subject
Anyone who doesn’t pick up on these cues knows they are trying to push their way to an invite.