Post # 1
SO and I have a target wedding date and a tentative budget and guest list. We were planning on telling both families this month but to avoid drama from my side, we are waiting until the end of the year. This cuts our engagement from a year to nine months. I am leaning toward a courthouse ceremony followed by a restaurant reception, which I think can be planned in that timeframe. SO is leaning toward a traditional ceremony and catered reception, which I’m not sure can be planned in that timeframe. I came across the calendar for a nearby venue recently…and every single weekend around our target date is already booked up! He’s hesitant about going to look at venues without talking to his mom first because he wants her input. Honestly, I do too, his mom regularly plans large parties and would give good advice.
I’m waffling about telling SO’s side first because…it’s not the usual route? My parents have already told me what they expect and I know with our budget, they’re not going to get everything they want. I don’t care for my mom to be involved in the planning but I think it would make my dad a little sad to find out that SO’s side knew first. On the other hand, my dad’s advice to me about dealing with my mom is to go do what I want and then nod along when she complains later, so I don’t think he would be that upset.
Any other pros and cons, bees? I keep on going back and forth and hearing new arguments for either side might help me decide.
This topic was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by flummoxed.
Post # 2
Are officially engaged or just pre-engaged and planning the wedding already? If it’s the latter, you could delay telling your mom with the excuse that you wanted to save the surprise.
Post # 3
People plan weddings in 6 month time frames all the time. Not aaying it’s easy, but it’s doable.
when DH and I got engaged, I told my family and he told his. We both called people right after it happened. And then, as another surprise, we headed over to his parent’s house where both of our families were for an engagement party.
Post # 4
I’m currently planning a 200 person, formal wedding in 9 months. My girlfriend did it in 7 months.
Its very possible and not difficult at all.
Post # 5
craigslistgirl: you know, I’ve never thought of wording it that way to my mom! I might try that one. She’ll probably roll her eyes at me but I like the excuse! I guess I’m pre-engaged (I really struggled with this one, haha) because we’re not telling everyone yet.
MrsWoods47: and OMGMrsW2B: Both your reassurances about planning a wedding in a short timespan could not have come at a better time…we just moved our target date to be even closer. I thought it was crazy at first and everything would be booked but we started calling venues and plenty of places are still open. Thanks for weighing in!
Post # 6
We had a small, but formal/traditional wedding and had seven months to plan (42 guests). We were married in a historic chapel and had our reception in private room at an upscale restaurant. So, yes doable – and we still had highly qualified and reputable vendors. We were engaged in November, DH told his parents at Thanksgiving and I told mine after the holidays. We had already planned and booked most things by the time we broke the news to them.
Post # 7
flummoxed: so glad we could help!