Post # 1
So my new Fiancé is still friends with his ex, which is actually fine with me. We actually see her whenever she comes to the city (several times a year) and she is actually a very nice woman. Her and I have become somewhat friends.
We have yet to decide on our guest list, but if we have a larger wedding and invite my Fiancé’s group of friends (rather than just immediate family) we will also be inviting her with a guest.
I don’t really want her to find out about our engagement on facebook, so I haven’t posted it yet, I feel that she should be told in some way. In person is not possible as she lives 8 hours away.
Any advice on what would be the best way to contact her to let her know of the engagement? Should my Fiance be calling her? Or should we have another friend call her or what?
Post # 3
I don’t see the harm in having him call her and give her the good news, if he’s comfortable doing so. It might seem weird coming from another friend.
Kudos to you guys for having such a great relationship with her.
Post # 4
I say just post it on FB. Is there any reason you think she migth get upset about it?
Post # 5
I think it’d be fine for her to find out on facebook. But if you really want to give her a heads up, do what I did: text! I sent my ex a “Dude guess what?! I’M GETTING MARRIED!!” excited text the day before we posted the announcement on facebook. Mostly because I was giddy and texting everyone I knew, but still. He was happy for me, and he and his fiance came to the wedding. Good times!
Post # 6
I would just post it on FB, unless she is a really close friend – then you would give her a phone call along with your other close friends. My advice, don’t over think it. I did the same thing and had myself in knots over it for days, for no good reason.
Post # 7
I don’t see why contacting and notifying her is any different from contacting and notifying any of your other friends . . .??
Post # 8
i called my ex to tell him about my engagement. it was funny because he had just gotten engaged also, so we got to congratulate each other.
Post # 9
If she is a friend like your other friends, just give her a call like you did for your other friends to tell her the news. Otherwise, FB is fine to me too!
Post # 10
I’d say have your fiance call or text her like he would any other friend. No reason why she should be upset!
Post # 11
I think posting it on facebook before telling her would not be a very good idea. My ex boyfriend (who I do not have the most positive relationship with) was extrememly upset about the fact that I announced I was in a new relationship on facebook before telling him. He mostly felt disappointment in me for not valueing our friendship more and thinking that he wouldn’t be excite for me.
He is not someone i plan on inviting to my wedding or even really maintaining a relationship with, but I still plan on at least emailing him or calling him when I get engaged so he doesn’t have to have the facebook suprise.
Post # 12
If they are very close, it warrants a phone call. If they communicate maybe only once every other month, then facebook is fine. Most of my friends found out that way and were totally cool with it (including an ex).
Post # 13
I am pretty close with my college ex and out of respect for him I called him before we went public on facebook. There are just some people who should hear it straight from the horses’ mouth. That being said, I second PP in saying that if he’s really close with her it probably deserves a quick call.
Post # 14
Making a special exception to tell her about the engagement is making her a SPECIAL exception, saying that she may be effected differently than others whom will be notified by facebook. This leads ME to believe you assume she still has feelings for your fiance?
Post # 15
@KateByDesign: That’s what I was wondering! Happy ia mnot the only suspicious bee out there 🙂
Post # 16
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
If he would personally call his other friends whom he is equally close to, then he should call her. If not, post it on FB and let her find out the way his other friends are.