(Closed) Telling the ex…

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should FI tell his ex we are getting married, or leave it be
    Yes, he owes it to her to be decent : (44 votes)
    42 %
    Hell no she is his EX : (57 votes)
    55 %
    Other? : (3 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2697 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Yeah, if only because of the son. She’s still in your life, so she should get a heads up. It doesnt have to be a big conversation, but it should be mentioned to her directly.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1691 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I think that IF she was still actually around, and IF she actually saw her son, and IF she wasn’t threatening and abusive maybe I would care about telling her. However just because she talks to her son once in a while and texts your fiance once in a while doesn’t mean she is OWED an explanation.  I don’t think you need to do it, if you want to and it would make you feel better – by all means, go for it.

    Post # 6
    Member
    7431 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    @lia22:  agreed. Especially if you think she will go apeshit when she finds out

    Post # 7
    Member
    7609 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Under those circumstances, I would say hell no and honestly consider having SS not mention the ringbearer thing to her, but I’m not sure about that part.  She sounds very unstable.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1691 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    @MrsSl82be:  LMAO – that’s what I’m thinking – no need to deal with her crazy bullshit.  Let her find out later so she doesn’t ruin your day!

    Post # 9
    Member
    5993 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    does she have any contact with the son? if yes then i would tell her but i would keep details to the minimum

    Post # 10
    Member
    2697 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @Take The Reins:  I think that with her behavior, a text is totally sufficient, but no need to provide any details about the date or her son’s involvement

    Post # 11
    Member
    7431 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    @lia22:  exactly 😉

    Post # 12
    Member
    1465 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Since the son lives with you full time, the ex doesn’t need to know. If they shared custody, then it would be courteous to say something, but even then it’s none of her business. His ex is part of his past so leave it be and move on. One less headache to deal with since she isn’t around to take it the wrong way.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1052 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I would probably wait to tell her until AFTER the wedding…

    Post # 15
    Member
    2154 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Does she have any custody rights whatsoever? Do you have any contact with her whatsoever?

    Post # 16
    Member
    263 posts
    Helper bee

    Does she have visitation? If she’s in her son’s life at all, you should let her know – but maybe indirectly, like, “We will be sure to send you some pics of SS in his tux after the wedding.”

    The topic ‘Telling the ex…’ is closed to new replies.

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