Terminally ill mother

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
1130 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

juski:  I’m afraid I don’t know how you’re feeling, and can only imagine. I’m so sorry for you and your family having to go through this terribly sad situation.

I think your attitude about enjoying each milestone you get to share with your mum about the wedding planning is a really good one, and asking her for a favourite reading is such a special idea for making sure her presence is felt one way or another on your wedding day. She is lucky to have such a special daughter there by her side.

For your own wellbeing, have you considered having a few sessions with a counsellor as a means to organise your thoughts and process the grief that you have now, and will be dealing with in the future? Sometimes setting these support networks up before you desperately need them can be helpful so that the groundwork is already there when it counts.

Sending you my warmest vibes and wishes. Congratulations on your engagement and I hope you are able to enjoy the moments of joy that come along with such a happy life event amongst the other struggles that are present in your life right now.

Post # 3
Member
643 posts
Busy bee

juski:  I know exactly how you’re feeling. I’m not comfortable writing all the details publicly, but feel free to PM me.

Post # 4
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I have no words of wisdom. I lost my mother suddenly 14 years ago and there’s nothing worse. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. All I can say is, I’m sure it gives your mother some peace of mind to know that as sad as you are about her, you are also beginning a life with someone who loves you and will support and care for you. That means so much!

I wish you all the best, and congratulations on your engagement. I had my mother’s picture attached to my bouquet and as much as I wished she were there on my wedding day, the truth is that she was there in my heart. Amazingly, I felt that powerfully and it made me very happy. The same will be true for you.

Post # 5
Member
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

Well this is the best I’ve got for you:  I was orphaned as a child and I have 4 grown DDs who have walked down the aisle. 

As the orphaned child – I would have killed to have my parents with me on my wedding day.  Because of your mom’s condition, I completely understand the coarse of action you have chosen and it was incredibly unselfish of you to try to plan something that would have made her feel pressured.

As the very experienced mother of the bride:  Nothing would mean more to me than my girls being able to have their dream weddings, regardless of my presence.  I would want them to have the experience they always wanted and to marry when THEY were ready, not just based on when I was going to die.

Completely opposite paradigms but I hope it offers you some comfort.

Post # 9
Member
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

 

juski:  You are most welcome – and again, my best wishes to you.

Post # 10
Member
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

I think you can only edit for about 30 minutes.

Post # 12
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I don’t have any wisdom to offer, just that I am very, very sorry you are going through this.  Cancer is just awful and heartbreaking.  Prayers for you and your family.

Post # 14
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

juski:  My heart is breaking for you 🙁 One of my biggest fears was that I wouldn’t find “the one” before something happened to one of my parents. I met him in May 2013 and in July 2013 my dad dropped the bomb on us that he’d been diagnosed with colon cancer, needless to say I was a wreck. I’m glad that your now fiance (congratulations!!) proposed so that you can share that with your mother and my prayers go out to you and your family.

Post # 15
Member
1303 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2015 - Chapel on Base

juski:  I am so sorry.  I truly understand.  Spend as much time with her as you can.  Share with her everything you can.  It’s such a time of sadness.   It is also a time for sharing love.  

When I became engaged my dad decided he wasn’t going into hospice.  I rescheduled my wedding because I couldn’t plan a happy day with such a sadness.  He lasted 5 months.  We lost him this past February.   He died on his terms when he was done.  I still get such a sadness knowing he won’t be here.  Then I realize he died knowing how happy I was that I was going to be married.  He is constantly with me.  

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