Post # 1
I’m getting married in 2 months and I am terrified of the ceremony! This is not a fear of commitment. We have been happily living together for 3 years (together for 8yrs!). It’s actually the speaking in public part that’s freaking me out. The idea of saying anything in front of a large crowd is scary but this seems so much worse! I’m not into PDAs in general. This seems way to personal to do in public. Couple my fears with a less than supportive family (They love the groom but they tend not to care much about the actual wedding) and I’m stuck. help! Advice on how to overcome this level of stage fright would be much appreciated!
Post # 2
Dont worry. dont worry abotu others thoughts or feelings. This day is about you and your FI and that is all that matters!
Post # 3
Frim1031: Maybe you can ask your pastor or whoever is marrying you to not have a mic used during the vow portion? Our pastor had a mic, but I spoke softly. I truly forgot about everyone when it came to our vows. It was just DH and In that moment.
Post # 4
- Wedding: Disneyland - January 2016
megz06: I agree. If you don’t want everyone to hear you speaking then they don’t have to 🙂 Your vows and thoughts that are meant for your groom are specifically that…just for him.
Post # 5
Frim1031: This was my biggest thing – I hate being the center of attention! Honestly, once I walked down that aisle (which was a little nerve wracking), I totally forgot that everyone was staring at me. I was only focused on my FI and what our officiant was saying.
I think most people associate public speaking with speaking in front of a large group of people you DONT know…. it’s a great feeling when you know everyone and they are so supportive of you. For some reason, I just didn’t feel those nerves (even during our first dance, cake cutting, etc… I never once felt nervous and like people were staring at me).
Post # 6
- Wedding: December 2014 - Loft
Frim1031: ok.. you said two things you se as negatives that could really be seen as positives!
1. “they love the groom” BINGO, no one will be paying attention to what you’re really saying.
2. “They don’t really care about the wedding” Awesome! This wedding holds dear importance to you because its YOUR wedding. Do you think the people there are going to care about what you two have to say to eachother? Its your bond.
And lastly, just focus on your husband to be, focus on what you’re saying. Just look at him, take deep breaths and everything will be fine. You’re going to do great.
Post # 7
Frim1031: Judgy people will be judgy regardless of what you do/say. But most people will be so happy and supportive that it doesnt matter what happens. They just want to see the love between you two. You could fall on your face walking down the aisle or say his name wrong (like Princess Diana) and NO.ONE.WILL.CARE. It will become a a cute, guess what happened on our wedding day story.
So take a deep breath, focus on you FI and let your happiness and love flow out of you. (and if you really, really dont think you can do it–xanax)
Post # 8
Would it be easier for you if the officiant said something very traditional (Do you take this man to be your husband…etc.) and then you simply reply “I do”? I think nowadays a lot of people are really into writing your own vows but I wouldn’t be comfortable with saying so many personal things in front of an audience either. We kind of went halfway and repeated the phrases after the officiant (I bride, take you groom to be my husband…) because it felt more substantial to us than “I do”.
Post # 9
Would you feel more comfortable with your back to your guests? Ask your minister/pastor/Officiant about ways to stage the wedding that might minmise yur exposure to your guests.