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Why won't they answer their phone?

terrified of photography/attention

posted 1 year ago in Photography
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    Worker bee
    liltwinstar    October 9, 2010   Northern CA

    I know this post title is dramatic, but I can't help it! I'm scared! I should say that I think we've picked are really good photographer.  I love her work, and I'm constantly stalking her blog to see if she's posted anything new. The images are gorgeous. So, I have no doubts about our photographer.

    The problem is me. I don't think I'm photogenic at *all* and I hate being the center of attention. I'm really shy, and in my "non-wedding" life I try to dress to "hide" if that makes sense - like I don't wear attention getting clothes/accessories at all becuase I don't want people looking at me. Also, I think the last picture of myself that I liked was from when I was 18...and I turn 30 this year. So there's that.

    I'm terrified that I'll ruin otherwise good pictures just by being in them. I know that's probably silly, and irrational, but there it is. We're paying a lot of money (well, for us, she's quite reasonable!) to have nice pictures, and I'm afraid I'll hate them. I look in the mirror, and I think I'm cute/ok looking. Then I see of picture of myself and I think what the hell...that's not me!!!! Except that it is. I think it doesn't help that my mom loves her iphone and she loves taking pictures with it, and I hate all of them. I try to smile anyway, but seriously, just thinking about having a camera in my face makes me want to go breathe in a paper bag.

    Also, both my FH and I are rather private people, so having the more modern style of photography with lots of kissing just doesn't work for us. To me, it's just too intimate (this is just personal preference - not saying it's bad/wrong, and I'm def not a prude...just private). This is something I'll definately discuss with my photographer. Part of the reason I picked her is because she does a more photojournalistic style and she seemed to have a broad range of pictures, but even having a pic of the kiss after the ceremony makes me feel weird.

    I think all this came to a head in my mind because I had my first dress fitting yesterday and my hair trial. I really like my dress when I see it in the mirror, and the hair was nice, although there are a few tweaks that we'll need to make the day of. But in the pics - oh lordy! I just hate them!

    Any advice?

     
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    Helper bee
    mrsv2be    September 22, 2010  

    I fake my smile in pics! I get so nervous!

    I have practiced alot because I do theater and get alot of headshots done. This is what I learned: If you smile and push your tongue flat against the back of your teeth, your smile will look more natural and not "forced." You should really practice smiling, as silly as it sounds!

    If you have a mac, use the PhotoBooth application. If not, just use the mirror. Get used to your smile. Love it. It's beautiful, even if it feels awkward at first!

     
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    Sugar bee
    Kittyachi    August 2010   New York

    Ha I could have written this post. I know exactly how you feel. Add to that the fact that I just in general conversation tend to make cheesy faces. Funny/moment-capturing - yes; pretty and bridal - NO. I'm terrified. Also the camera adds pounds I can't afford.

    Sigh.

     
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    Newbee
    Aries7083    January 22, 2011   Dallas

    The best thing you can do is cut out pictures of engagement/bridal photos that you like. Take them with you to the shoot. But make sure they mock the poses you will want to see yourself doing. Then at the shoot just pick up one of those images while they're testing, look at the pose, and imitate it. That will really help you to do the same thing physically that you are seeing. And second, don't think about it anymore than that. If you think too hard or practice too much in front of a mirror then you'll look like you're trying to hard. Just seconds before look at the image and imitate. Deep breaths, back straight, and relax. Before you know it you won't be thinking of it! And you'll be having a great time! Photographers are great with working with someone who isn't used to cameras. So if you're seeing good results from the photographer you like, know that she is working well with people to get those poses.

    (My FI and I didn't do the whole kissy thing either. You don't have to if you don't feel comfortable.)

    Amberle

     
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    Helper bee
    lilybay    October 2, 2010  

    It sounds like you did not do an engagement session with your photographer?  Sometimes that can be a good way to break the ice.  I wasn't terrified about being photographed, but I was nervous for our e-session.  Our photographer was fantastic - she put us at ease and we actually ended up having fun!

    Your photographer sounds experienced enough that she should be able to make you comfortable.  Put your trust in her!  Definitely tell her the kinds of photos you are uncomfortable with - she should take your lead on that.

    And finally, you are going to look beautiful on your wedding day!!  All brides are beautiful!  Don't stress about that.  :)

     
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    Worker bee
    MissHay    September 16, 2010   Currently traveling the world!

    I have a similar problem... I feel like I look so different in pictures than in real life!  Here's a good article with tips, most of which have really helped me:

    http://www.canadianliving.com/style/fashion/9_ways_to_look_good_in_pictures.php

    Hope that helps! :)

     
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    moderndaisy    June 2010  

    A couple suggestions came to mind from reading your post. First of all, I think you should go for a makeover, kind of like on "What not to wear". Buy yourself some nice new flattering clothes, get your hair done and go to a makeup counter to get a whole new look. That might boost your confidence a little and make looking at yourself more bearable. Second, can you schedule a trial run session with your photographer? Like maybe the engagement pics? That way you will get used to having your picture taken and how you will look in the finished product. Looking at the photos, you can determine if there is a certain angle of yourself you like best or any shots you want to avoid.

    And focus on the future - you will have these pictures for the rest of your life and 20 years from now you might have done a complete 180 when it comes to your attitude about being photographed. You will be so glad you powered through it!

     
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    NowMrsV    July 4, 2010  

    I have to say, I totally thought I would feel this way on my wedding day but... truthfully, after the first few minutes of the photographer shooting "getting ready" pics in our hotel suite, I became so consumed in the actual day that I stopped paying attention to the photographer.  If you're comfortable with our photographer just being around, I'd relax and you'll be fine.  Do your best to focus on the wedding and the pictures will turn out fabulously!! Good luck!

     
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    Helper bee
    TwinkleToesJMU    July 3, 2010  

    I dont think im photogenic either, and i have big thick waist that not even the wedding dress could hide, and i was worried too that none of my wedding photos would make me look thin or pretty...

    however, i was pleasently surprised by what a difference a wedding photographer can make. First off, they have ridiculously nice cameras (not your mom's phone) that do wonders. Lighting and having a high quality lense makes a huge difference.

    second, wedding photographers are pros out figuing out (fast) at how to make the bride look her best. They will position you, change the light, the location, and take tons and tons of shots to make sure they get lots of good photos. Also, remember your hair and makeup will be way nicer then what you do every day, so you will be looking extra good. They also have the power of photoshop to do any finishing touches like soften the lighting, etc so that every shot looks picture perfect.

    So you may not like every single photo, but i promise you there will be some beautiful wedding photos of you!!!

     

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