Terrified of SIDS…help!

posted 2 years ago in Babies
Post # 2
3128 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

Getting a breathing monitor may help ease your fears. We have an angelcare which is the only way I’ve slept for the past 5 months.

Post # 3
9949 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Have you told your doctor your fears?

Post # 4
4404 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think every mom is terrified of SIDS; I know I was. If my daughter slept a little later than usual or something, I would be terrified that something was wrong (instead of just enjoying the extra quiet time!). 

All you or anyone can do is exactly what you’re doing–taking all the preventive measures and reducing all the risks you can. I have been told by several doctors that if your baby can roll himself over from his back to his stomach, it’s ok because he’s probably strong enough not to get stuck where he can’t breathe. 

As parents, we’re bound to worry for the rest of our lives about our little ones–it’s just the name of the game. I try my best to limit risk, but I acknowledge that there are always going to be things I can’t control. I’m much less panicked now than I was when she was an infant–I have learned to live with hope and courage. You will, too.

Post # 5
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Can you talk to your doctor?  I think all moms have some anxiety with a new baby (for me it was if he was getting enough to eat), but some of what you are describing sounds more like post partum depression/anxiety then normal baby worries.  Things like the obsessing over it, crying over it, hiding it from your DH are big warning signs post partum.  I would at least talk to your DH and doctor, and get some perspective, is it normal new mom anxiety, or are you suffering from post partum.  

Check out this article, or do some googling on post partum anxiety.  Its a “cousin” to the more well known post partum depression, and people who have struggled with anxiety in the past can be more prone to it.  


I hope you are able to figure this out and find some peace.

Post # 5
584 posts
Busy bee

I agree with peachacid, I think this is something you should definitely tell your doctor.  The obsessiveness of your thoughts leads me to think of post-partum depression. I know most people don’t link anxiety with depression, but as a therapist, I see anxiety and depression are very, very linked. It could be the manifestation of the depressing thought that you no longer have complete control over your baby as you felt you did when you were still pregnant.

I hope I don’t offend, I am not a mother yet (waiting to TTC) but I have worked with many mothers.

Post # 7
1878 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Valparaiso, IN

If he can roll over on his own, you don’t have to keep turning him on his back.

Post # 8
3438 posts
Sugar bee

JustMe12182:  You may want to talk to someone about this.  SIDS is very real, but you also don’t want to stress yourself out over it either.  My daughter is now 8.5 months old and I was worried about it too when she was first born.  We did co-sleep, which I know I’ll get flamed for, but it worked for us, and she slept with us until she was 2.5 months old and then slept in our room until she was 6.5-7 months old.  I felt a lot better with her near us.  But I also wasn’t hyper worried because my husband helped me with this and didn’t allow me to read those SIDS articles either.

Post # 9
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Your thoughts and fears are normal but the fact they are taking over your life and causing such a horrible amount of anxiety is not. Please speak with a counselor, your OBGYN or your child’s pediatrician. You don’t need to feel like this, it can be helped.  

A breathing monitor might help some but I think this is a much deeper issue that should be resolved with a doctor or therapist. Once the SiDS risk age passes, the anxiety will probably manifest in another way. As parents, we are going to always worry about the health, safety and well being of our children. But we need to still be able to manage the worry.

i know it won’t make the anxiety go away, but my 7 month old has slept on her belly since she could roll on it at 3 months (sometimes she would be face down In her crib in her nursery) and she is just fine. 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by  .
Post # 10
8513 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

You can get a breathing monitor if you’re worried.

I believe once they can roll the risk drops dramatically, you don’t have to turn her over.  My LO started rolling back to front at 3 months and started sleepying on her tummy pratically every night.  Sometimes with her face partially smushed into her mattress… and sometimes I still go in to see if she’s breathing lol.

But I would maybe talk to your doctor…because there will always be something to worry about so if it’s affecting your life you might want to try and get a handle on it.  As long as you’re following the best practices you are doing everything right.

Post # 11
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

SNUZA – best $100 I ever spent, I wouldn’t have been able to sleep at night without one.


We never had a real alert, just 2 false alarms maybe when his diaper got too full and bunched up away from his body. I think its better than the mat style ones because it is portable if the baby is sleeping somewhere other than the crib.

Post # 12
9526 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

This seems pretty extreme and hurtful to you. There are lots of bad things out there that can happen, and it’s scary to think that something could happen to your baby, but you can’t live your life controlled by fear. Especially given the prior history of anxiety, I think meeting with a doctor or therapist might be able to help.

Post # 13
12 posts
  • Wedding: May 2017

Try an Angelcare Monitor – you put it under their cot or bassinette mattress and it monitor their breathing. Ours is extremely sensitive. We’ve never had false alarms and has always beeped and alarmed within the time limit whenever we picked our bub up and forgot to turn the monitor off.

Post # 14
1817 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I hear a lot of other moms suggesting a mat and that may help ease your mind, but I’m thinking if you are feeling this anxious about it then I would contact your doctor. My kids are on hospital grade monitors (they measure apena and bradycardia, low heart rates) due to them being very sick and I have to say, even with the mat I’m not sure you will feel at ease. Because then the thoughts of, “is it really working?” “what if it malfunctions and doens’t pick up on the lack of movement?” will creep in.

Basically what Im trying to say is that while a monitor may help, I only think it will act as a bandaid to an underlying issue. Definitely contact your doctor and discuss your feelings and fears and don’t hold back any details!

Post # 15
1049 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

JustMe12182:  first of all. Calm down. 


Second of all stop freaking out. 


And third, stop googling, web MDing, and looking things up. 


I did did all this right before I had DD. Specifically with giving labor vaginally. I freaked out decided I couldn’t do it after watching YouTube videos of actual births. It did nothing but terrify me. DD slept in her bassinet till about 4 months. After moving her to her crib it def was an adjustment and hard and I got up a million times. She’s always slept with a blanket in her bed and she has a bumper. Guess what? She’s perfect. 

Personally I wouldn’t recommend a heart/breathing monitor bc whenever you take baby out of the crib it sets a very loud alarm and then you may never get back to sleep. Get a video one if you feel like you need extra security. But be careful with those and make sure they don’t run on certain frequencies that are hack able! 

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