Post # 1
I could really use your help right now.. I’m having one of those moments where it suddenly hits you that you’re growing up. Only this time it’s hitting me like a 10 ton wall.
Today, I realized that starting next week I will be a full-time student teacher. Starting then, I’m not a kid anymore.. In a few months I’m getting married, I’m moving out of my house, I’m leaving my parents, I’m leaving my pets, and I’m leaving everything that I’ve known up until now. My home will be my childhood home, and I’ll no longer be my parents little girl, I’m to be my fiancé’s wife. My identity is changing completely.
I love my fiancé more than I ever knew was possible to care about someone. We’ve been growing up together for the past six years, and I cannot wait to marry him, but right now I just want to cuddle up in my bed, hold my little dog and cry.
I know I can’t be the only one who felt like this. How do I feel better? :'(
Post # 3
@OnceUponATime: First of all, you are not changing your identity. You are still you! It’s pretty normal to feel like this. Growing up and moving out are just part of life!
You will always be your parents’ little girl. That never, ever changes. You are starting a new, exciting chapter in your life! It’s a little more overwhelming for you because you are starting a new career and getting married at the same time, but you have your fiance to help get you through this. You will be just fine!
Post # 4
Sweetie, you’ve not been a little girl for a long time and your parents should have told you that a long time ago. After all, I remind my 17 year old that he’s not a little boy just about every day.
However, maybe it’s a good idea for you to move out into your own apartment between now and your wedding just so you can obtain some autonomy
Post # 5
I’m not sure, I was the complete opposite. I moved out at 18 and never really looked back!
I wouldnt say your identity is completely changing though. You are still the same person, you just have a new job and live in a new house. You are your own person, you dont belong to someone else now. You are a daughter, a wife, a teacher, etc.
This should be an exciting time in your life. It’s a new chapter!
Post # 6
Being an adult is a million times better than being a kid.
Really, honestly: you couldn’t pay me to go back.
Post # 8
Trust me — you’ll never not be their little girl if my mother is any indication. I am 26, moved out and married and she still treats me like I’m three.
Growing up is just a part of life. Every baby bird has to spread their wings and fly. You’re just flying off so you can make your own nest one day and maybe have baby birds of your own.
Post # 9
Post # 10
- Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016
I feel like this sometimes too (: You’re not alone! Just remember that even though it seems like a lot of overwhelming changes all at once, when it’s actually happening it’ll feel a lot more gradual and it’ll be easier to take it one step at a time. I’ll share one of my favourite quotes that helps me when I feel like this (:
“The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be”
It seems like a lot now, but everything will happen naturally and you’ll adapt to everything quickly.
Post # 11
@Hyperventilate: Wait, do we have the same mother? LOL
OP, I agree that you’ll always have that special bond with your parents if you are close to them now, so don’t fret about losing that. You can be both your parents’ child and a wife – you are not losing your identity, you are ADDING to it!
Post # 12
@BeachBride2014: I agree!
Even though I’ve been out of the house for almost ten years, I still have a key to my dads house and he always keeps trail mix (my favorite snack) in the pantry 🙂
If you feel like “growing up” is coming too soon or that you’re forcing it you might not be ready to make some of the changes you’ve mentioned. Pace yourself!
Post # 13
@sarahbabs: lol the only reason why my mother leaves me alone now is because I’m married, but damn before I was, I was a 3 year old that still needed to get calls telling me not to get sick because etc etc.
Beachbride is right though – being an adult has really let me spread my wings. I no longer have to depend on my parents financially, and thus they now have no say over what I do … and the list goes on! call it … an ADVENTURE!!
Post # 14
That is a LOT to handle in a short period of time–many of us do not go from living at home, being in school, not working, and being taken care of by our parents to suddenly being employed full time, living on our own (well, with a spouse), and being married. BUT let me tell you, there is really an amazing feeling of accomplishment in “adulthood” that you will never feel living at home.
I think one of my favorite things about living out of my mom’s house with my now-DH was that we could get a pet together! So maybe once things settle with the job and the living arrangements, you two could get your own puppy/dog, that isn’t your parents dog but is just yours. Having a pet makes me feel grounded and also gives you that feeling that your home is a warm and cozy place where you have responsibilities and little ones to take care of, and of course doggies give you that wonderful unconditional love
Post # 15
@OnceUponATime: Oh punkin, dry those tears. Change is scary, but change is necessary. Change is good!! Maybe I’m an adult, but I definitely not a “grown up”. Haha. I still watch Saturday morning cartoons… but with my husband now! You will still be you. You are not taking away from your identity. You are adding to your identity.
One other thought: Have you talked to your parents about keeping your little dog? If they say, “No, it’s our little dog!! *tears*” then maybe you and your DH can start saving up for a pup of your own.
Post # 16
I can’t relate to this at all since I was excited to move out when I went to college and never looked back nor had the desire to move back home. I love being independent and out on my own!
Your identity isn’t changing – only where you live and maybe your last name.
I’m sure it seems like a lot of big changes at once, but there comes a point in everyone’s life where they have to grow up and go out on their own. The best times of my life have been since I graduated college and started working in the career I love. I have way more fun in life now than I did living at home or even in college since now I actually have money!