(Closed) Terrified to grow up. Bawling my eyes out. Please help :(

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3078 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@OnceUponATime:  First of all, you are not changing your identity.  You are still you!  It’s pretty normal to feel like this.  Growing up and moving out  are just part of life!

You will always be your parents’ little girl.  That never, ever changes.  You are starting a new, exciting chapter in your life!  It’s a little more overwhelming for you because you are starting a new career and getting married at the same time, but you have your fiance to help get you through this.  You will be just fine!

Post # 4
Member
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Sweetie, you’ve not been a little girl for a long time and your parents should have told you that a long time ago. After all, I remind my 17 year old that he’s not a little boy just about every day.

However, maybe it’s a good idea for you to move out into your own apartment between now and your wedding just so you can obtain some autonomy

Post # 5
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

I’m not sure, I was the complete opposite. I moved out at 18 and never really looked back!

I wouldnt say your identity is completely changing though. You are still the same person, you just have a new job and live in a new house. You are your own person, you dont belong to someone else now. You are a daughter, a wife, a teacher, etc.

This should be an exciting time in your life. It’s a new chapter!

Post # 6
Member
1685 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Being an adult is a million times better than being a kid. 

Really, honestly: you couldn’t pay me to go back.

Post # 8
Member
9061 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Trust me — you’ll never not be their little girl if my mother is any indication. I am 26, moved out and married and she still treats me like I’m three.

Growing up is just a part of life. Every baby bird has to spread their wings and fly. You’re just flying off so you can make your own nest one day and maybe have baby birds of your own.

Post # 10
Member
5371 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016

I feel like this sometimes too (: You’re not alone! Just remember that even though it seems like a lot of overwhelming changes all at once, when it’s actually happening it’ll feel a lot more gradual and it’ll be easier to take it one step at a time. I’ll share one of my favourite quotes that helps me when I feel like this (:

“The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be”

It seems like a lot now, but everything will happen naturally and you’ll adapt to everything quickly.

Post # 11
Member
6512 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Hyperventilate:  Wait, do we have the same mother?  LOL 

OP, I agree that you’ll always have that special bond with your parents if you are close to them now, so don’t fret about losing that.  You can be both your parents’ child and a wife – you are not losing your identity, you are ADDING to it! 

Post # 12
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@BeachBride2014:  I agree!

Even though I’ve been out of the house for almost ten years, I still have a key to my dads house and he always keeps trail mix (my favorite snack) in the pantry 🙂

If you feel like “growing up” is coming too soon or that you’re forcing it you might not be ready to make some of the changes you’ve mentioned. Pace yourself!

Post # 13
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Hyperventilate:  

@sarahbabs:  lol the only reason why my mother leaves me alone now is because I’m married, but damn before I was, I was a 3 year old that still needed to get calls telling me not to get sick because etc etc.

Beachbride is right though – being an adult has really let me spread my wings. I no longer have to depend on my parents financially, and thus they now have no say over what I do … and the list goes on! call it … an ADVENTURE!!

Post # 14
Member
1891 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

That is a LOT to handle in a short period of time–many of us do not go from living at home, being in school, not working, and being taken care of by our parents to suddenly being employed full time, living on our own (well, with a spouse), and being married.  BUT let me tell you, there is really an amazing feeling of accomplishment in “adulthood” that you will never feel living at home.

I think one of my favorite things about living out of my mom’s house with my now-DH was that we could get a pet together!  So maybe once things settle with the job and the living arrangements, you two could get your own puppy/dog, that isn’t your parents dog but is just yours.  Having a pet makes me feel grounded and also gives you that feeling that your home is a warm and cozy place where you have responsibilities and little ones to take care of, and of course doggies give you that wonderful unconditional loveSmile

Post # 15
Member
2840 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@OnceUponATime:  Oh punkin, dry those tears.  Change is scary, but change is necessary. Change is good!!  Maybe I’m an adult, but I definitely not a “grown up”. Haha.  I still watch Saturday morning cartoons… but with my husband now!  You will still be you.  You are not taking away from your identity.  You are adding to your identity.

One other thought: Have you talked to your parents about keeping your little dog?  If they say, “No, it’s our little dog!! *tears*” then maybe you and your DH can start saving up for a pup of your own.

Post # 16
Member
11753 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I can’t relate to this at all since I was excited to move out when I went to college and never looked back nor had the desire to move back home. I love being independent and out on my own!

Your identity isn’t changing – only where you live and maybe your last name.

I’m sure it seems like a lot of big changes at once, but there comes a point in everyone’s life where they have to grow up and go out on their own.  The best times of my life have been since I graduated college and started working in the career I love.  I have way more fun in life now than I did living at home or even in college since now I actually have money! 

The topic ‘Terrified to grow up. Bawling my eyes out. Please help :(’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors