(Closed) Terrifieed & Excited, but in what measures?

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1333 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

What do YOU want to do?!  That is all you need to ask yourself.

I know it sucks to feel others would be disappointed, but it is NOT their life to live. 

Beyond that, if moving in with your SO is the decision you want to make, then make your boundaries with him very clear.  You are moving in with him because it is something you both want, but that you will not play house for 10 years, but that you seriously need a timeline and commitment from him, because you also have a voice in this!!!

Post # 4
Member
482 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Breathless:  From someone who wishes they could go back to that point (right before moving in with boyfriend): if you want to move in with him, which it sounds like you do, I would let him know you are moving in with him under the assumption it will lead to marriage and discuss a timeline for such events. If you don’t have this discussion, you will have to have it after you have been living together for some time and that will be MUCH harder and you will have no leverage. He will get comfortable with things as they are and not be in a hurry to marry. good luck! 🙂

Post # 5
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Breathless:  I think you should just have a quick chat with him to discuss where you both see your futures going, and if marriage is included in that and when. 

Post # 7
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

@Breathless:  I dont think you’re making a mistake at all-as long as you guys have communicated that marriage is what you both want- I say go for it! Discuss a timeline for when you want to be engaged and married. Honestly I have never understood the couples that don’t dicuss those things ever in their relationship and boom! Out of nowhere the guys proposes but they have never talked about it ever! I mean to each their own but I could not keep going with my SO at my age without knowing anything about where the relationship is going.

 

Post # 8
Member
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I moved across the country with him with the understanding that we would be getting engaged that year.  it’s 2013 (2 years together) and still no ring.  In his defense, I am constantly snooping and ruining suprises AND talking about weddings ALOT (it doesnt help that ALL of our friends are married or getting engaged all at once).  The last few days i’ve been trying the “shut up” plan with some clear results: all of the sudden HE is trying to move the wedding planning along.

so yeah, i agree with the other gals: just make sure everyone is on the same page 🙂

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