Thank You card rant, etiquette, questions HELP.

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
3806 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

BakerBee16:  you’re fine. put them in the mail and send them out as-is. his mother will get over it AND you need to talk to DH NOW about mom overstepping. the wedding is over. she has NO say in how, when, where, what you and your DH do. it’s not her business. just drop them in the mail. we did ours after the honeymoon. don’t know exactly when but it was at a time that was convenient for me.

Post # 3
Member
6204 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

People might like the pictures (but for our guests, i put pictures of them from our wedding and not of us) but definitely don’t apologize! I think within 2 months is supposed to be very much on time.

Eta, how annoying! You must be so fed up with her.

Post # 4
Member
1298 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I wouldn’t worry about it. 4 weeks after the wedding is fine. 

Post # 5
Member
7098 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

4 weeks is totally acceptable, no apology needed. Your MIL is being ridiculous IMO.

Post # 6
Member
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

BakerBee16:  getting thank you cards out in 4 weeks is awesome. some people don’t include pictures from the wedding some do. I sent mine out at the 6 week mark. I had my pictures back within 4 weeks and created custom thank you cards, it was a tri-fold card with our picture on the actual card. Don’t let her bug you. I know people who didn’t send card out until 6 months later. You are fine!

Post # 7
Member
889 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015 - On a Cliff Overlooking the Bay, Florida

 

BakerBee16:  

Here ya go! Straight from Bridal guide….

Here’s a timeline for all your special occasions: engagement party and shower, within two to three weeks of the festivities; gifts sent before the wedding date, as soon as possible, but definitely before the wedding; gifts given on the day itself, within three months; gifts received after your wedding, within two to three weeks.

 

Hope this helps and she calms down!

Post # 9
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee

4 weeks is really good.  Sending them up to 2 months after the wedding is fine etiquette at least where I live.  Pictures are not required, but most won’t mind a delay if the thank you cards have pics on them (since you need to wait to get them from the photographer and that takes more time).

Post # 10
Member
889 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015 - On a Cliff Overlooking the Bay, Florida

At least you are sending them…. I have been to 4 weddings in the past year and only received 1 thank you card.

I was always taught by my grandmother.. You don’t use it until a Thank you card is written (Christmas & Birthday gifts) so needles to say I’ll have my cards out by 3 months! LOL

Post # 11
Member
8071 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

She’s insane. By any not insane standards of ettiquette you did a great job. Have your DH tell her to STFU. And if she brings it up to you be firm.

“Thanks for your concern but according to The Emily Post Institute etiquette dictates that up to 3 months is perfectly acceptable. We were well with in that and I feel great about it. That ship has sailed MIL, let’s talk about something else”

youre a grown, married woman. Time to (diplomatically) stand your ground. 

Post # 12
Member
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I posted on here and people said within 2 months is fine, 3 months is too much.

But etiquette rules on the net seem to think 3 months is OK.  We’re including pictures from the photobooth in each card and we’re writing a novel. 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  audrey_lane.
Post # 13
Member
6900 posts
Busy Beekeeper

A few months is maximum. Your MIL is apparently one of those  who believes it is even more gracious to have them out ASAP, writing notes all along as gifts are received and the likes of Miss Manners agrees with her and would probably say two weeks!!!  IMO you are fine and one  month is going to offend no one. There is no reason to apologize or make excuses and waiting for a photograph is not a excuse in any case. 

Post # 14
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

BakerBee16:  No need to apologize.

Honestly, I’ve gotten a mass email with wedding pictures attached and a generic thank you to all.

It did put me out a bit, but it’s better than nothing, I guess.

Post # 15
Member
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I think 4 weeks is fine but my mom is a bit like your MIL in that she thinks thank you’s should be out ASAP.

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