Post # 1
FI and I attended a wedding, that was far enough out of town for us to warrant getting a hotel for the night. We gave them a very generous cash gift. Overall, we spent a significant amount on money on this wedding.
We recently got the thank you card, and i’m honestly, pretty grossed out by it. It was pre-printed with about 6 photos of the couple, and a standard message. The couple didnt even sign it, or write our names on it or mention the (generous) gift we gave.
I was raised to always send a personal thank you note for anything – so this is just plain rude to me. It kind of has made me regret going “all-out” for them. Am I being silly, or is this actually rude and thoughtless?
Post # 3
I think its important to write a little message, but they trend seems to be just picture type thank you cards. I think the fact that they sent something was nice, cause I’ve been to 3 weddings in the past year, and I havent gotten a thank you card, and I too gave them a generous gift.
Post # 4
I think i’m just peeved that their wedding was over the top (and gorgeous) and not a single detail was forgotten about. It seems like such a cop-out, after spending easily 100K on a wedding and going balls out, to not even write a personal thank you for guests who traveled and were generous. Almost gift-grabby!
Post # 5
Nope, you’re right, this is rude and gross. Just another reason I feel that the world is going to hell in a handbasket.
Post # 6
I got one of these for a wedding I went to this past year. I too think it is rude (I started a thread on it). I think it refelects really poorly on the couple and I will likely keep it in mind the next time this couple hosts something (housewarming, baby shower, etc).
Post # 7
You are right! Rude and thoughtless!
Post # 8
I think it’s very rude, but not much you can do about it.
Post # 9
I was always made to sit down and write thank you cards – after birthdays, christmases, graduation, etc. If I received a gift, there would be a pen and blank thank you note in front of me within days.
Now that I’m older, I recognize that this type of communication is becoming a lost form of expressing gratitude – but it is still the most appreciated. I think handwitten, personalized notes are even more appreciated nowadays due to the scarcity of the tradition.
I still hand write thank you notes for everything – anything less would not be accurately expressing my appreciation and thankfulness. Thank you cards are meant to express gratitude and if the person was important enough to invite to your wedding, they are worth a couple minutes of thoughtful writing.
I know that not everyone was raised the way I was, but handwritten thank you notes are just common ettiquet. I’m all for bucking tradition, but not when it comes to thanking other people.
I’d be just a little annoyed, too, if I were in your shoes – but I wouldn’t fret about it long. Not worth the time and energy.
Post # 10
So rude! Even if you make a picture thank you, you still MUST address it to proper person, sign it yourself and write a personalized note! WOW! Their momma didn’t raise them right!
Post # 11
@ieatunicorns: EXACTLY. FI thinks we should just send them a “mad libs” thank you card for our wedding … which would be funny, but I absolutely could not do that.
I’m glad to see i’m not the only one left in the world with manners and general courtesy!
Post # 12
@Ashley_B: I’ve never received a thank you card for any wedding that I’ve ever been to. T
Post # 13
@vorpalette: Really!? Trying to figure out what those brides were thinking only results in a *facepalm*
But hey, to each her own. We weren’t all raised the same.
Post # 14
I hate, hate, HATE “thank you cards” that are really just collages of pictures of the couple and generic messages! I don’t care if that’s what is considered “trendy” – I personally think it’s rude and horrible to send those out. I don’t want to see 6 pictures of your marriage – I was there – I saw it in person. I would much rather open up a card that has 2 hand written sentences…. to me, that shows that you cared enough to spend 5 minutes of your time to thank me for celebrating with you and giving you a nice gift.
Sorry if this offends anybody who sends out generic picture thank yous, but it’s the truth. I haven’t met anybody who actually thinks those are a good idea.
Post # 15
@Ashley_B: The picture thank you cards are very popular. I am considering them as well and quite like them but all the ones I have received have also had a personal handwritten message from the couple inside as well. I think that people are using handwritting less and less in general now. My teenage nephew can’t even read cursive because he wasn’t taught it in school…unbelieveable imo.
I didn’t get a thank you card for one wedding and a baby shower I attended. I was more upset that my parents (who were not invited to either but sent a VERY generous wedding gift and shower gift, and by very generous I mean they bought out the remaining registry, every single item for the shower!) and they never received a thank you. Not even a phone call, nothing. That made me mad.
Post # 16
We did a Shutterfly thank you card that had a picture on the front and on the inside, personalized of course, along with a little note of thanks pre-printed inside as well. However!!! I also hand wrote a small note of thanks specific to each guest and their contribution in addition to the pre-printed message.
I was raised that thank you cards should be personal and specific and a generic “thank you” was never deemed appropriate…regardless of the event.