Thank you card to in-laws

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
716 posts
Busy bee

I’m curious if others will say that a thank you card for parents is typical.  I would think that it would be more natural to say thank you and express your appreciation in an actual in person conversation.  It seems to me that notes are more appropriate for people that you are farther removed from / speak to less often.


Post # 3
7019 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Cheekygeek123:  I assume your fiance is writing his own, because if it was from both of you it should be written by him.

Anyway, I’d say something along the lines of, “Thank you for your generous gift. It means so much to me that you are supporting us like that, and I’m so happy to be joining your family”… and not a lot more than than that.

Call them whatever you call them now. That’s what I’d expect from my daughter’s bf, and I’d be slightly weirded out if he called me “Mum” (Australian for “Mom”) before they married.

Post # 5
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Dear Mr. & Mrs. FPIL,

Your son, FI, and I deeply appreciate your support as we plan our wedding. You have raised your son to be the man with whom I will be spending the rest of my life. He is truly my other half, and that is due to much of the upbringing you gave him. Thank you again for the spiritual, physical, and financial support you have given us as we prepare in forging our life together.

We hope that the wedding itself will only be a precurssor to the years of happiness and love we anticipate in the future.

Thank you,


Post # 6
4402 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I agree with you that he should write the card. 

Still, if that’s not going to happen, I don’t think it’s that hard a card to write. 

1) Just call them what you yourself normally call them (I know it’s weird, though, because you’ll sign it from both of you — you could always do “Mr. and Mrs XYZ/Mom & Dad”).

2) As for what to say, don’t overthink it. Just say what you are feeling — probably that you are so grateful for their generosity and their kindness to you, and that you are looking forward to the wedding so much. 

But yeah… he shouldn’t be dumping this on you!

Post # 7
7019 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Cheekygeek123:  Honestly, I don’t understand the logic of you writing the card from both of you. The only reason I can think of is a really sexist one, like weddings are for women so the gift is really to you.

Post # 8
1352 posts
Bumble bee

Seems simple to me, something along the lines of “thank you so much for your generous support, we’re excited for the big day and our future together.” I would just use their first names.

Post # 9
42082 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Let’s not make a big deal about this. It’s a simple thank-you note for their generous contribution to the wedding.  You write a couple of lines. He writes a couple of lines. Done.

Post # 10
2414 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

jamb:  I wrote my mum a thank you card after my shower.  I see her all the time.  I, obviously, thanked her in person on the day of.  I even mailed it.  I notice she has it tucked in a holder with her important papers (and I took the entire inside and back of the card to write it all.)  I don’t think it’s weird. 


Cheekygeek123:  You could write separate cards, or separate notes on the card from each of you. We went the separate note way for a gift from his parents.  He called them mum and dad, I used their first names.  I just expressed my gratitude for their generous gift and for making me feel like part of the family right from the start.  And I closed with how excited I was to see them and celebrate at the wedding. 

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