(Closed) Thank-you cards?!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
11354 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I would plan on sending very polite thank you notes to all of your guests who give you gifts, regardless of the value of the gift. I would order at least the same number of thank-you notes as the number of invitations you ordered, if not more, since it would be easy to make mistakes while hand writing them.

Post # 4
Member
364 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Definitely still send everyone a thank-you note. Let them learn by your example.

Post # 5
Member
46159 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Two wrongs don’t make a right- as my mother used to say.

Post # 6
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Well, they do have up to a year after the wedding to send them out, so maybe you’ll still receive some?

If they are being rude and just not sending them, however, I wouldn’t stoop to that level, personally.  Order enough to make sure that every guest/couple receives one.  No need to make anything more or less mushy to prove any points – just be polite and treat others how you would like to be treated. 

Post # 7
Member
550 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I ordered the same amount as my invites.

 
Regardless if we receieve a gift or not I will still be sending out thank you cards to everyone. We will be greatful enough that the guest came to share our day!!! 

Post # 9
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

I have the same problem – we don’t get thankyous for maybe half the weddings we attend. I find it appalling! I sent thankyous to everyone who gave us gifts. HOWEVER, I do make an almost unconscious mental note of people who don’t send us thankyous, and keep that in mind in future. For example, if you don’t send us a thankyou, I will send you a card congratulating you on your first baby, but I’m very unlikely to get you a gift. It probably seems petty to some people but I feel like it’s just treating people the way they treat others, while still maintaining my own integrity 🙂

Post # 10
Member
46159 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@mrsmongolia:  I’ll be the first to admit I’m not perfect. I would probably get some joy just from the thought of them feeling bad when they got my card.

Post # 11
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@julies1949:  Ditto both your responses! I would do it because it’s the right thing, but I would also feel great knowing my “revenge” was their guilt Tongue Out

Post # 12
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee

@Juliepants:  Unfortunately, the you have a year after your wedding is not correct.  Guests can send gifts up to one year after the wedding, but you are expected to thank them immediately, or as soon as possible.

Post # 13
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee

OP, take the etiquette high ground and send one to every person who gifts you.  But definitely feel free to take mental note, and in the futre give gifts to those who appreciate them.

You wouldn’t want to burden the non-thankers with anymore gifts that they clearly do not want and/or appreciate.

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