Thank you cards-after wedding

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
6507 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I have no idea what the actual etiquette guidelines are but I find it a bit rude after about six weeks of not receiving a thank you. I think they should be sent out ASAP. We had ours in the mail less than two weeks after the wedding.

Post # 4
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee

@Daizy914:  You have 3 months to send your cards before you are considered late.

Know this: your guests are more interested in getting a prompt, heartfelt thank you than they are in getting a card with your picture on it 4 months after the fact that 99% will throw away anyway.

Over half of our thank you cards were sent out within 10 days of the wedding. I have received many comments on the promptness and the quality of what I wrote. The last* of them will go in the mail tomorrow (we were married 3 weeks ago).

I think wanting personal cards with a picture on it is more of a vanity project than anything else. Your guests just want to know that you received their gift (gifts do get lost) and appreciated it. If I were a guest, I would spend 3 months wondering if you even got it. 

If you want your guests to have a picture, include it in your Christmas card.

*my mother hosted an at-home reception for us and I am still waiting for the addresses from her to send those cards as I don’t know those people.

Post # 5
Member
1116 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

If you go for a honeymoon immediately after your wedding, your thank you cards for gifts received at the wedding should be sent out no more than 2 months after you return from your honeymoon. If you go on a later honeymoon, then 2 months from the wedding date. Any gifts received before the wedding should have thank you notes sent within 2 weeks.

Post # 6
Member
2915 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

generally, up to 3 months is considered “on time” and if you’re using your wedding pictures, i think people are more understanding if there’s a bit of a delay. i sent mine out after 2.5 months. my photographer was late getting our pictures to us, otherwise i would have sent them sooner.

Post # 7
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I love the photo thank yous and I put them right in my photo album. I’ve heard you have up to a year but I think within 4 months is fine.

Post # 8
Member
3223 posts
Sugar bee

@SeaSalt:  +1000

It is impolite to delay thanking someone so you can send them a picture of yourselves.

If you are dead set on sending a picture a second mailing is perfectly polite.

Most etiquette experrts agree that you have 3 months to send thank you notes after the wedding. Personally, the sooner I am thanked the more thankful the receiver seems.

Post # 9
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Daizy914:  I vowed to get them out by 1 month, which we did. The last few weddings I got thank yous within 6 weeks. The sooner the better in my opinion.

Post # 10
Member
1367 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

What if you want to send pictures of them?  Our photographer got shots of us with all the guests and some amazing ones in the photobooth (they weren’t those strips, but digital.)  I’d like to be able to print and send those as well and was planning on doing it as soon as I get them back and printed (realistically that will probably result in them getting there around the 2 – 2.5 month mark.

Post # 11
Member
1881 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I think as long as you get them out before 3 months you are good. If you can’t get your pics back in time you can just send them shots out later. 

Post # 12
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@canuckandakiwi:  I’m curious about this two. We had friends get married last year, and they included 3 or 4 pictures in their thank you notes of us, and I know they did that for every person/couple/family they sent a thank you note to. I thought it was a really nice touch, and we have one hanging on our fridge!

Post # 13
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I think you’re fine to wait for pictures for the thank yous.  I actually like them- they’re a nice personal touch.  I’d say just try to get them out within 3-4 months.

You can try to jump the gun, as it were, by pre-writing messages.  Just type up the message you want to say, and then when you get the thank you cards, handwrite them in the card.  I’m not sure about you, but the hardest part for me is coming up with the right words for a thank you, and takes the longest.  I did this for my graduation.  Typed the messages out, got the cards, and handwrote them.  It only took me a couple hours to write out about 40 that way.

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