Thank you cards expected…. FROM GUeSTS!

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee

Interesting to read; thank you cards are not a tradition in my country as well (I had never heard of them before reading Bee, but apparently they are a big deal in US). That said, our weddings are in general smaller and last longer, so we are able to talk and thank our guests in person during the event.

Post # 3
Member
643 posts
Busy bee

Sporty-Bee:  When you say “around here,” where exactly do you mean? I don’t consider it a privilege to attend someone’s wedding and I can’t imagine sending the couple a thank you card. That’s a very interesting norm I’ve never heard of! 

Post # 4
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I literally could not find thank you cards in this country– Czech Republic. I couldn’t believe it! You can find single cards for special occasions, and even blank cards, but there were NO simple thank you cards, much less BOXES of cards, which were what I wanted.

I lived here for 8 years in the 90s and my mom was Czech. I had never been aware of this small cultural difference until it was time to send my wedding present thank yous. Funny how things differ culture to culture. 

I do like the idea of sending thank yous to the people who host parties. So why not weddings? it’s a great idea!

Post # 10
Member
1649 posts
Bumble bee

“Bread and butter” letters are correct on both sides of the Atlantic and both sides of the English channel. There are large segments of society that have only a passing acquaintance with formal etiquette, and many whose only use for the term “etiquette” is for the special case of wedding formalities, while indulging in common vulgarity as the norm for their everyday lives. So it is unsurprising that many people have never heard of thanking their hosts.

But the general rule of good manners is, that on the day following any substantial entertainment, guests should write a note to their hostess thanking her for her hospitality. “Substantial entertainment” may not include the ‘privilege’ of attending a wedding ceremony, but it certainly includes a sit-down dinner, and even more-so a sit-down dinner accompanied by dancing.

Note that I said “bread-and-butter notes” not cards. Most properly they are written on your personal engraved stationery. But you may buy a one-off card and write your note in that instead if you feel you have only the rare occasional need for writing thank-you notes..

Post # 11
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee

aspasia475:  Aspasia, I feel that I’m remembering incorrectly in this case and I know you’ll be able to tell me either way: in addition to the bread-and-butter note is there an expectation that, if humanly possible, the guests will reciprocate by hosting the hosts “in the same season”?  Or am I confusing this with something else?  Thanks, as always. 

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