Post # 1
So my FI’s aunt sent a message through Facebook Saturday to family members saying that they lost their storage and needed to get rid of a menonite solid wood dining table set ASAP and asked if anyone would be interested in purchasing it.
FI jumped on it! (without talking to me, without my consent, without even having money for it and without even knowing what it looked like! but that vent is for another time).
So apparently, they were hoping to sell it for much more, but as a wedding gift, they asked FI for $250! This dining set has 4 chairs, and it’s about 3 x 4 feet… So it’s nothing extravagant or even luxurious looking, it looks country. The next morning, it was delivered to us with some tablecloths, place mats, etc.
Excuse me, but how is adding to our debt a wedding gift? If you want to sell us a table, that is fine, but don’t label it as a your wedding gift to us. UGH!
Am I awful for having these thoughts?
Edit: They ended up only taking $200.
Post # 3
@O.My.Heart: Not at all. How tacky!!! I don’t see why they couldn’t have just gifted it to you, which is what wedding GIFT means.
Post # 4
You’re not awful, but the table is probably worth a ton more. I can see being annoyed and it not exactly being a gift you wanted, but it’s probably best to let it go. If you’re going to get annoyed at anyone, get annoyed at your FI for this one, lol.
Hopefully you end up happy with the table in the end!
Post # 5
@O.My.Heart: While you probably got an amazing deal on this table, it’s still not a gift. I’m pretty sure a gift that you guy for yourself is just a purchase.
Post # 6
I think you should direct most of your anger toward your fiance rather than his aunt. He’s the one who decided to purchase it without telling you about it. His aunt didn’t contribute to your debt – your fiance did. (Sorry, I don’t meant for that to sound so harsh!)
Perhaps they called it a wedding gift because they heavily discounted it based on what they think they could have gotten for it (which is what you alluded to). Perhaps they knocked a few hundred dollars off of it based on what they were willing to give you for a wedding gift?
I don’t think you’re awful for thinking these thoughts, especially considering you don’t like the set – but you should take that up with your fiance, not his aunt. In fairness, she probably thinks she doing you a huge favour by giving it to you at a discount.
Post # 7
So, for realsies, this is their wedding gift to you? Knocking a few bucks off the purchase price of their cast off?
I don’t even know how you’d write out that thank-you card….
Post # 8
@sanjessica: I am definitely planning on letting this go. Just needed to vent!
@mgol25: Oh trust me, he got one hell of a talking to, lol.
That is exactly the way it went down. Years ago, they paid like 2000$ I think.
I actually like the table, it’s the circumstances I dislike. Plus, we didn’t even need a dining set! We already had one, and now it’s in storage.
Post # 9
@JaneyDcat: “Dear Aunt, thank you for letting me purchase my wedding gift from you. The $200 we spent to receive a wedding gift from you was the best purchase we have made.” LOL
Post # 10
@JaneyDcat: I know… That’s how I feel too 🙁
Post # 11
Yeah that’s not a gift. That’s a family discount and kind of them, but it isn’t a wedding gift. I mean, they aren’t required to give you a gift, but they pseudokindasorta think they did… awkward. I’m not sure how I would go about writing a thank you card either..Good luck with that one!
Post # 12
@O.My.Heart: Hahaha. I can see why you dislike the circumstances. Especially since you already have a dining set! Is there any way you can sell the other dining set and break even? It’s a frustrating situation, so try not to stew on it. Hopefully your fiance learned a lesson! 🙂
Post # 13
This would annoy me also so dont feel bad lol
Post # 14
@O.My.Heart: Well, they didn’t add to your debt – your FI did.
People often tend to overvalue their stuff. I keep an eye out on Craigslist for some items I want and I often laugh at what people think their stuff is worth / what they think someone will pay for something used. They don’t seem to realize what they paid for it new doesn’t mean squat.
That said, sometimes people DO have stuff that’s actually very nice, in demand and can easily fetch a good price. If the table and chairs are actually valuable and they could have reasonably expected to sell it for much more, then selling it to your FI for a reduced price was nice.
I’m not sure why you’re mad at them when its your FI who asked to buy it and accepted the reduced price as a gift.
Post # 15
@O.My.Heart: so were the table linens all used too?
Post # 16
My opinion: don’t write them a thank-you note!
You paid for it, it’s not a gift. If the rest of your guests gave you a gift where you had to pay them back for part of it, would you write a thank you note? I wouldn’t. :/
I would also think that I was dreaming and maybe pinch myself a few times. Because, what??
Or, at least if you DO write a note, wait until after the wedding when you’re still feeling warm and fuzzy and sligtly forgiving about your table situation.
Because technically you have up to one year to send out thank-you notes.
Otherwise I think calling it a wedding gift is a cop-out, and if that’s how this cookie crumbles then whatever, at least you got a nice dining room set out of it. :/