Thank you notes

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@WestCoast:  

1. yes.

2. no.

3. optional, but it’s a nice touch.

4. yes. Do it anyway. It will probably get posted in a conference room somewhere.

Post # 4
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

my 2 cents

1. No

2. Yes, thanks for being a part of our special day

3. yes the ones that went out of thier way.

4. yes a card to that office saying one big thank you.

Post # 5
Member
1959 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

1.  Yes (they are your friends and made a very nice gesture, that in my books deserves a thank you)

 

2.  No

 

3.  Yes (I sent one to all my vendors)

 

4.  Yes (as PP said, address it to the entire office and hope that it gets posted somewhere for all to see.  Even if it doesn’t get to anyone and you feel like you wasted your time, its still the right sentiment)

 

Btw, I just finished my thank you cards last weekend (a bit late I know) so I know what you’re going through.  Congrats on almost being done!

 

Post # 7
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

oh no then. I’d just message them on FB to tell them thanks next time you see them 🙂

Post # 8
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would send thank you’s to all your friends and family who attended. Even if it was ‘It was great to see you, so glad you were able to share our special day with us. yada yada.’ My FI and I have a friend who took us out for an engagement dinner, and I plan to send her a card. If you feel like sending cards to your vendors, feel free, but not obligated.

Post # 9
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You will get varying opinions on this, but some people think that if someone didn’t give you a gift, you don’t write them a thank you card — it can come off like you’re sending them a note to ask where your gift is. The reception is the thank you for guests attending the ceremony.

Post # 10
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@WestCoast:  

1-Yes

2- No

3- No, unless you use a religious officiant (Pastor, Priest, etc)

4- I think the e-mail is adequate! Or a hand-written note to the higher-ups would be nice

Post # 11
Member
1649 posts
Bumble bee

1) Any time someone hosts you in a substantive manner, such as to the theatre or for a meal, a gracious lady sends a thank-you note the following day. In racy etiquette slang these are called “bread-and-butter notes”, as in “Thank-you for the bread-and-butter.” As you can see, the casualness of the meal does not get you off the hook — bread-and-butter would be a pretty casual meal but it still gets the thank-you note named after it! You would send a note whether the hospitality was wedding-related or not.

2) Formal etiquette does not recognize “cards” as a genre of correspondence: it recognizes gifts and notes. Cards are considered just a note with a pretty picture on the front and a generic message on the inside that the note-sender has to write around. You do not send thank-you notes for notes, or you would be caught in an endless loop.

3) You have business relationships with your vendors, not social relationships. If you want to show particular gratitude to a vendor, pay her a bonus on top of her negotiated fee. It is bad form to blur business relationships with social relationships. Be polite to your business colleagues and suppliers, of course, but don’t presume to a friendship with them.

4) Email is a good way to ensure that group-gift givers all see the thanks. But if you want to dot your ‘i’s and cross your ‘t’s send the hand-written note to the attention of the office manager or receptionist, enclosed in a separate note asking her to pin the thank-you note up on the bulletin board in the coffee room.

Post # 12
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Yes to all.

I sent Thank You cards out to everyone, even if they did not get a gift. I personally dont think that it comes off as “gift grabby”. I was truly thankful for everyone who came to our wedding and as we were not expecting any gifts (but were pleasantly suprised when we got a couple), I personally think that you should send a thank you card to everyone. I see it more as people will think that you do not appreciate them being there if they did not bring a gift.

Post # 13
Member
5204 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@WestCoast:  

1) Yes

2) No, unless they came to the wedding.  In that case send them a “thanks for coming to the wedding” thank you card.

3) Optional.  Not expected but nice to do.

4) I think the email you sent is enough.

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