Post # 1
Our wedding was five weeks ago. I told my husband that I wanted all the thank you notes mailed out within a month of the wedding day. We split the guest list in half, both agreeing to write thank you notes to our respective friends and family. I had mine done within a week and a half of coming back from the honeymoon.
My husband is still finishing his. I love the man, but I swear, sometimes I feel like I need to hold his hand for some things. When it became clear that he wasn’t going to finish by the 10th, I offered multiple times to help him write some off of his list. He refused. He wanted to do them himself. I offered to address the envelopes. He didn’t want my help.
Five days ago, he told me he had them all written, they just needed to be addressed and stamped. He’s still working on it! How long does it take to address and seal 50 envelopes? It makes me want to tear my hair out. So we finally sit down tonight to do the last check to make sure we have them all. He’s missing ten! Out of fifty! This is why we have a spreadsheet! So glad we checked, otherwise I would have been so embarrassed when those guests didn’t receive a thank you note.
Add that to some addressing errors (he wrote one envelope to “John and Jane.” No last name. Who does that?), and literally the worst thank you notes of all time (Dear Mr. and Mrs. Blank, Thank you for the Target gift card. We buy all of our clothes from Target. Thank you again. -Mr. UC), and I think I need a drink.
Okay, first world problem. It felt good to let that out.
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
@cmbr: haha, that description of his message made me laugh. I think you’re a step ahead of me – knowing my guy, I just immediately assumed I’d be writing all 100+ of them myself. I’m sure it’d be approximately 2016 before he finished them. Actually, scratch that, they would literally never get done.
So in summary… my expectations were set extremely low based on 10 years of experience, so he has met them and I don’t actually want to murder him! Success?
Post # 4
I’m sorry you’re feeling so frustrated about it all, but I gotta say, reading the “thank you” note that he wrote, made me laugh my butt off! 😉
Post # 5
Ya know… I did them all myself for a reason. 😉
At least he tried to be to the point! Haha. 🙂
Post # 6
Ugh. I addressed as many of my guy’s save the dates as I could and still wrote the names on the ones I didn’t know and gave him a clear date I wanted them all sent out by. Were they all out by then? NOPE.
Mind you, he is sending his off to all of his people who have to fly 5,000 miles to our wedding. They need some advanced warning, hun!
So that was back in July. Now it is mid-September and he is only now deciding to invite a few more people. I’d be fine with a guest count increase, but seriously, babe? Your friends need to purchase a $1,000+ airfare to come out. If there was any chance of their attendance, they’d need to already know.
I’m also sending him home with the invitations– which I will already have pre-assembled, stuffed, and addressed for him. All he’ll need to do is add postage and send away. I will feel like kicking him in the shin if he delays on those (I’d never really kick him, but the thought can be appealing).
I think I’ll give him a fake deadline of when to send those out…
So yeah, thank you cards will be done by me!
Post # 7
@cmbr: Love it! HAHA! Hope you survive! My FI told me (straight faced) “We can just thank people at the reception and save the time” so I’m guessing I’ll be writing them all (esp. because he has pretty bad penmenship). Thanks for the laugh!
Post # 8
I asked my husband to thank his BM for taking us out to dinner the week before the wedding. He still hasn’t done it.
So I am writing all of our thank you notes. I write pretty detailed notes, have better handwriting than he does, and I know they’ll get done. This is important to me because I think a lot of people expect the bride to do it anyway, and therefore judge HER when it’s not done. Not fair, especially in this day and age, but the way it is.
I told him that since he paid for most of the wedding, I would write the notes, and we’d be even. Everyone is happy, and 10 days after we married, most are done. They’d all be done if we hadn’t been away for the past 5 days. By Friday, the rest will be in the mail, which will make me happy because i just want to be done with wedding stuff now. Time for life to get back to normal.
Post # 9
@cmbr: This is why I did ours myself! We had a relatively small guest list, though, so I only had about 40 to do. I have nice handwriting whereas DH’s ranges from ‘messy’ to ‘illegible’, and he is a major league procrastinator.
Is it possible to do them yourself, that way you’ll know it’s all handled?
Post # 10
I should ask DH to write some, but…I don’t know. Mine aren’t impressive or anything (all five of them that I’ve written), and I really don’t want to do them at all, but I feel like I should (plus DH is busy with school and work). I keep telling myself that I’ll do them at work and on the weekend, and then I don’t lol. One of DH’s coworkers loved the one that I wrote for her, though, so that was nice to hear.
I LOL’d at your husband’s note. That’s totally what I want to write on ours.
Post # 11
I think it’s kind of cute that he wrote that. At least it’s better than the usual made up cliched babble people generally write. He was honest and genuine and the person knows that their gift will be used. It sucks to buy someone a gift that they never end up using.
I’m lucky because my husband’s writing is actually neater than mine and he understands how important thank you cards are (he wasn’t always this way, but he has learned since being with me). I am a strong writer but I hate doing cards. He can always think of what to say.
Post # 12
Even if his thank-you notes aren’t the best, I’m sure the recipients will appreciate the sentiment and that he wrote them himself! My husband and I split ours up, with each of us writing to our respective family members and friends. He typed “drafts” on his computer first and I reviewed them and gave him some gentle pointers 🙂 It was an educational experience for him since he doesn’t come from a thank-you note writing family like I do! It took him much longer than it took me, but I do think his family and friends were impressed that he wrote the note himself (even if they had trouble deciphering his hand writing!). I suggest you just take a deep breath, and let your husband write the notes, even if takes a while. At least he wants to do his part — that’s a good omen for the future!
Post # 13
I’d love to get a thank-you from your husband!
Mine offered to help but there weren’t many of them (25-ish?) so I did them in just a couple nights. I did make him address the ones that went to China and write the ones to people I had never met who just sent checks, but that was it.
Post # 14
People wouldn’t be able to read my husband’s writing. I have formal writing skills. He’s a thank you note freeloader. I tell him this every time I write our cards.
Post # 15
I gave my husband a “script” to base his note off of and told him if he wanted to add anythign else in it he could. He did very well with it thankfully. I refused to split the list with him. I told him I would do all my family and he would do all his, but he never got around to it, so I sat down with him and did it together.
Post # 16
at least you have help with them