Post # 1
So here is an awkward question… My mom literally moved out of my parents’ house right after my wedding and is living with a friend. It has been years since my parents haven’t gotten along, and I think the stress of traveling to my destination wedding was the trigger that finally put them over the edge. My dad has not been respectful of my mom for years by disregarding her time and what her opinion is, and my mom has therefore checked out of the marriage. It’s been bittersweet and emotional, I think my mom really needs to figure out what she needs especially since she has been in a relationship where she has not been fully valued for years, and I think it’s just starting to hit my dad that she might not come back….
This is seems so minor given the situation, but I’m not sure how to address the thank you notes and gift for my parents…cause it kind of says something about what I believe will happen with their seperation. Do I write them both a separate thank you note? Do I buy each of them a photo album as a gift? They paid for my guests at the wedding so a thank you is due – the money came from both of them together, but during, and after my wedding they no longer act like a married couple.
What would you do?
Post # 3
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I think the best thing to do at this time is to respect their choice at the moment by treating them as separated and sending them both a card and a gift separately. I don’t think it’s necessarily taking a stand on what you see for their future. Rather it’s making sure that they both separately know how much you value your individual relationship with them and everything they contributed to your wedding.
Post # 4
@Au Jardin: As someone whose parents separated a week after I got engaged (no clue if they will be divorced before or after the wedding but it is inevitable at this point) I would treat both as individuals and give them each their own thank you note and wedding album. If they divorce, it will be one less thing to fight over. If they don’t, well its not that bad to have two copies of the wedding album. As for addressing them, I would write “mom” and “dad” instead of Mr. Au Jardin and Mrs. Au Jardin, because it seems easier. I know my mom (who left) has managed to keep her drama to herself, and still be supportive of the wedding, but she prefers to be acknowledged individually. My dad is still struggling with everything, but is slowly accepting things and did not take offense when we (my siblings and I) gave them separate christmas presents (though they were identical gifts).
Post # 5
@asscherlover: Thanks for the response, I’m sorry you are going through this as well.
I just sent out the invites separately, thanks for the advice. It does kind of suck, cause it’s the first time I have to treat them as being separated. I think it’s all for the best, but still when you are in your late 20s it’s weird to see this happen to your parents. Anyways, thanks again.