Post # 1
My own wedding is now 7 months away and my friends are beginning to plan my shower and wedding events.
It got me thinking about my SIL (Fi’s brothers wife) shower last year and my friends wedding.
First off my SIL I cohosted with the groom’s mother. I worked my tail off for that, both of us did. The bride showed up, got a ton of stuff and then only in passing said “thanks” to her FMIL and myself. We never got a hostess gift (in my family we bring flowers to the hostess) nor a card. Just the passing “thanks” when everyone was saying how lovely it was. This was in June 2012.
She got married August 2012 and we went to the out of town wedding, got them a present, both FI and I stood in the wedding. We both worked our assess off again to set up the church and get everything organized. Again, never received a thanks for anything we did, and no card thanking us for our gift.
We then went to a friends wedding in October 2012, gave them a nice gift and nothing so far in regards to a thank you note.
Now I know you have a year to send them, but c’mon, this is a little ridiculous is it not?
Post # 3
Sadly there are a lot of people like that.
I hosted a baby shower for a friend who get pregnant after a few months of dating this guy. Totally unexpected. I didn’t get a gift, or card. Some people just don’t think it’s important or think about it at all.
Just because other people didn’t do something that you would have done doesn’t mean you should get pissed off.
Post # 4
@missjewels: I know you have a year or whatever to send thank you cards, but to me, no one who actually sends thank you cards is going to wait an entire year to do so. Some people weren’t brought up with them I guess. I was forced to write them after every single gift I received as a child & I could not be more grateful that my mom raised me that way. There’s not really anything you can do though so hopefully this vent helped you feel better so you can move past it =)
Post # 5
To add to this note:
I am annoyed by people who have those wedding picture thank yous and don’t write anything personal on them. Like they couldn’t take the time to say a generic something in their own hand writing!
Post # 6
@missjewels: You are totally right in your frustration. First off all, you don’t have a year to send thank you cards. This is always misconstrued because etiquette says you have up to a year after the wedding to send a gift. Thank you notes should always be sent out as soon as possible – 3 months at the latest unless you have some particularly unusual circumstances. You wouldn’t wait a year to send a thank you note for anything else, so you certainly shouldn’t start with your wedding. I’m not ranting at you, it just drives me crazy that this myth is perpetuated all over these boards. Send your thank you notes as soon as you can ladies!
Now, as far as the friends, I agree with pps, some people just don’t know how to be gracious. That doesn’t make it right, but since they are family and friends, its probably best not to confront them about it, and just let it be and move past it. Besides, when you do thank them, they will probably (hopefully!) be reminded that they did not give proper thanks and maybe try to do better in the future.
Post # 7
I would prefer to see people send out thank you notes within three months. A year is too long.
I also don’t care whether I get a picture from the wedding or not, so delaying them to include a picture that I’ll probably throw away eventually kind of annoys me. I know, I know, it seems like a nice gesture to include a picture, but really…I’m not going to frame it or put it in a photo album or scrapbook unless I’m the MOB, MOG, the Grandma or the special Aunt to the bride or the groom.