(Closed) Thank you wording for donation on our behalf… sort of

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I don’t understand why you are writing a thank you note to aunts and uncles for donating something for your cousin. It wasn’t in your name, and I’m not understanding why it’s a gift to you that they did it.

If it’s just that you appreciate it, I think you should just mention it to them when you see them in a heartfelt way that you really felt what they did was thoughtful.

I’m not sure why the donation has anything to do with your wedding, either.

Post # 5
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

@wendelina0866:  One of my aunts actually wrote on our RSVP that she was “regrettably accepting” the invitation

Pretty sure that is one of the few times it’s ok to un-invite someone to your wedding. What a b*****. I wouldn’t have wanted to celebrate with such a nasty group, and I wouldnt have wanted a gift from them. It doesn’t sound like it was really a gift to you anyways, so I don’t think you need to send a thank you note.

Post # 6
Member
857 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Yup. If it has nothing to do with you, or your wedding, you are under no obligation to write a thank you card. 

Post # 7
Member
2273 posts
Buzzing bee

@viewfrmhere:  They probably just told her “For your wedding gift we are doing this.”

Post # 10
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@wendelina0866:  Maybe something to the effect of:

“In the spirit of love and family we wanted to recognize and honor your genorous donation to….”

I don’t know.  That’s tough.  Kill them with kindness.

Post # 13
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Yeah, what I had was kind of a backhanded comment.  Because clearly her RSVP was not in the spirit of love and family so they will probably read it as a insult or something that will make them more angry, but if shown to anyone else they would respond with “oh how lovely.”  But I’m passive-aggressive like that.

Post # 14
Member
2273 posts
Buzzing bee

That’s a wonderful thing to do. But I still have to say..

What immature bitches…  I’d kill them with kindness too. If you’re rude it’ll make you look bad. If they’re rude, it won’t make them look bad. I hate how that works out, but.. it is what it is.

Post # 15
Member
857 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@wendelina0866:  Oh! Ok. Here’s what you write:

 

“FI and I want to thank you so much for spending such a special day with us. Family means so much to us, and it was so special to have you there with us on our wedding day. Your incredibly thoughtful and generous gift in honor of (names) was so special, as they are always in our minds and hearts.”

 

Post # 16
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@wendelina0866:  Now I understand. Sorry! I thought it was just a separate gift.

You should probably just be polite and then mentally disown them for being total jerks (why didn’t they just decline? Ugh).

“It was lovely to see you at our wedding. Thank you so much for giving to xxx charity. I think of cousin often and thought your donation was truly thoughtful. Hope to see you soon, “

 

ETA: I think it’s okay if you leave off the last sentence, since if I were you I’d never want to see them again.

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