(Closed) Thank Yous BEFORE or AFTER the wedding!?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: When did you SEND Thank Yous for gifts received before the wedding
    Before the wedding, when the gift was received : (26 votes)
    55 %
    Before wedding, when gift was received AND another Thank You after the wedding for attending : (7 votes)
    15 %
    After the wedding : (14 votes)
    30 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2725 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    If you send them now it’s one less you have to worry about later. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    3265 posts
    Sugar bee

    You send them now.  You do not thank guests via thank you note for attending the wedding.  The reception and speaking to guests at the wedding is the thank you.

    It is most poilte to send thank you notes on the same day you receive the gift.
     

    Post # 5
    Member
    78 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    You’re given up to 1-year grace period after you receive your gift to thank the sender, but if your schedule allows, thank the gifter as soon as the package arrives.  Besides, if people ordered off an online registry or what have you, they would want to know that what they ordered was received by you and not lost in the mail, KWIM? Besides, it gets you in the mood for the wedding – sending out thank yous from the “both” of you.  Umm…I don’t know if most Americans send thank yous for attending the wedding. (Sorry, not from this country!) But I do know many couples have some sort of cutesy “thank you” photograph that they take on their wedding day and send it after the wedding (usually for presents they received the day of)….I don’t think it’s customary to send a thank you just for attending. Though, if someone did attend and didn’t give you any sort of gift, then yes, I would send them a thank you for attending and sharing in your special day.

    Congrats on your engagement and GL!

    Post # 6
    Member
    7904 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    @andielovesj:  agreed

    @Suerte:  No, you are not allowed 1 year. That’s a myth. Guests are allowed 1 year to send the gift, but you should send the thank you as soon as possible and certainly not later than a few months of the wedding.

    Post # 7
    Member
    3626 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    If you are not waiting on photo Thank You cards, I would just do it now so it is fresh and you don’t have a giant stack to go. Otherwise, you can technically wait until after the wedding since most people don’t usually expect a wedding gift thank you ASAP. If you do wait until after the wedding (and especially if you do photo TYs), I would order them ASAP and get them out quickly before you forget or lose the motivation.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1375 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    A thank you should be sent as soon as you receive the gift; people want to know you have received it!

    Wedding guests have up to a year tospend gifts. Brides and grooms have anapproximate three month period after the wedding to send thank yous for wedding gifts. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    963 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    @andielovesj:   this is correct. There are a lot of crazy misconceptions about thank you notes, but etiquette rules are quite clear that the thank you note should be sent as soon as possible after receiving the gift.

    Post # 10
    Member
    3121 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Emily Post says up to 2 weeks after a gift is received.  Personally, this wasn’t possible for us.  I would say no more than 3 months.

    Back to the OP…you’re gonna want to stay ahead of those!  I would take a few minutes each night when your spending time on the couch in front of the TV.  You will be so glad and your guests will be super impressed!!

    Post # 11
    Member
    1917 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Send thank you notes as you receive them so that people know that you’ve received the gift.  I did not send a separate thank you note to thank people for attending.

    Post # 12
    Member
    4194 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    Thank yous should be sent as soon as possible- within 3 months maximum (one year is not correct!)

    I did the thank yous for pre-wedding gifts when they came in-you’ll be VERY glad you did!

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