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I voted savings because I am frugal too.
I would just be truthful. That is what people vaulue the most. If you are going to put it in saving, maybe you can mention something that you are saving for, if you want to elaborate.
Are you saving for anything in particular? If I got a card saying "thanks we put it in the bank" I'd probably be a bit disappointed, because I'm not frugal at all! I would have given you cash so that you could spend it on something you actually wanted, not so it could sit in the bank :) If your savings are for something like travel or a house, I think that would be worth mentioning. Otherwise you could just say we haven't decided how to spend it yet but we really appreciate it.
It's a running joke in our families that we store it in our mattress/floorboards etc, and my mother still gives me a hard time about suggesting an engagement RRSP (Canadian retirement savings fund) contribution.
Houses in our area are about $600,000 and closing in on a million plus if we wanted to get within a 30 minute commute to work, so we have a condo and are saving up for a down payment, but that's a pretty long term goal at this point.
I would be fine with hearing anything other than "offsetting wedding costs." I can't quite put my finger on it, but it doesn't appeal to me.
Perhaps you could say "your generous gift helped us start our married life on the right foot" or something vague like that.
@spinach: I agree. Totally not my favourite option either. We had a couple guests who specifically told us in advance that they were buying our cake as a gift, or wanted me to put their gift toward getting my dream dress (and will thank them accordingly), so I was curious if it would be a popular choice in general.
I know my family members would be happy to hear I put money into a savings account (something I never do!)
I would just dress it up a little say you are saving it for a rainy day or something like that.
I said we were putting into the "House Saving" fund, which is not really true but does sound better than just saving it for a rainy day!
Ditto on the saving for a house--even if its really long term, it still sounds better than just saving the money.
We said something like "thanks for your generous gift. we're really excited to start working on our house together." For a few people we listed a specific project, but mostly just said something about working on our house in general.
Honeymoon. Things on the registry I really want and will use a lot but wouldn't spend money on otherwise. Toward the down payment on a house. I feel that people are contributing the start of our marriage - I want them to know I respect that. I think the house is the only way you can get away with putting the money in savings.
I have never once received a thank you card specifying what they plan on doing with my gift (and we always give cash). I think it would be rather odd to hear it anyway,and would really just prefer 'Thank you for coming to our wedding and for your generous gift.' Keep it simple.
We used a lot of our wedding money to keep us afloat these past couple months while I don't have a job. The rest is in savings. But I didn't like how that sounded, so I say the same thing for every cash gift: "We are using it towards furnishing our home."
Honestly, I always give a cash gift for weddings and I do not care one way or another what they use it on... and i dont even feel its necessary to explain what you used it for... A simple thank you that we gave them a gift is enough for me...
I would not care what the couple spent it on. Who am I to say what they should/should not be spending their money on? Once I give it, it's out of my hands and out of my mind. I know that when we get cash for the wedding, there isn't one particular thing that it will go toward. I'll have to figure out how to word that in the thank you card--I might just say, "Thank you for your generous gift."
I think I would say that it was for savings for a home downpayment (even if it's not in the near future).
We said that we were using ours for a honeymoon/furnishing our new place after moving but we didn't really do either. Oh well!
If you want to specify, I'd probably just say honeymoon. Yes it was already paid for, but you used the money to replenish the hole that the honeymoon left in your savings account!
I chose "other." I definitely did not like "offsetting wedding costs"-- seems irresponsible to me. Like they had a wedding that they couldn't afford, assuming they'd get some money from it. I don't know-- I just don't like it.
Anyway, I think if you say "savings for a house," that's great. But "savings" in general really isn't that fun.
And "honeymoon"-- that could work, though in your case and mine, it wouldn't be true.
If I get money for my wedding, I don't know what I'll say. Since FH and I already have a house and our honeymoon is paid for, I probably won't specify anything. Or I'll say "improvements to the house. You'll see the work we've done come this Thanksgiving." Something like that.
I'd say just write down whatever your next big expense is going to be. House, car, furnishing your home, 1 year anniversary trip, whatever :)
I think people don't really need to know how you spent the money you gave them. In this case, I would bypass etiquette, thank them for the gift & maybe include a memory of the day that you shared with them or just something else that is personal.
"We're putting part of it towards our honeymoon and saving the rest for our future children's college fund!"
..or something like that. I think it's nice to know that you are spending the money on something you want but that you're also being smart about it!
We're in a similar situation - we've saved/prepaid most of the wedding costs, so whatever monetary gifts we receive, we'll be using to save for a house payment!
I voted savings and I think you should say that you're saving for a house, even if it's a long ways off!
I'd be okay with anything other than "off-setting wedding costs." Gross. I am giving you a gift so you can start married life together comfortably, not so you can have some extravagant wedding and expect the guests to help you pay for it.
I generally said something like, "It will go a long way in helping to make our house a home!" It seemed to cover everything.
I like the idea towards the top of this thread..."your generous gift helped us start our married life on the right foot". I don't like the idea of lying in a thank you note and no matter what the money was applied to, that statement holds true. I think we're all overthinking trying to come up with an exact use when something vague like that gets the job done and makes everyone happy.
I've never received a thank you with an explanation, nor have I ever written one that way. I am probably as frugal as you, so if you said you put it in savings, I would be delighted with that answer. However, if you have something specific you are saving for, it's nice to mention that.
(I have to say, I find the question odd just in the sense that if you give someone cash, well, then you don't have a say as to what they do with it. I find it strange that someone would be offended with what I did with a cash gift (provided it wasn't something like a donation to NAMBLA or something). If you wanted to control what I do with a gift, then get me a toaster.)
I agree--I think a vague, "Thank you for supporting us and for helping us start our lives together" is best.
I would mention what you're saving for: house, college fund, etc.
I would write something about the future- "Thank you for helping us to be one step closer to [buying a home, planning for a family, etc]..."
I personally would like to know where my gift went. I don't need to know specifics, but I always appreciate it when people say; "Thank you for the ____. We are using it toward ______ / we are excited to _______ " Whether it's a line or not, it helps me visualize it being useful to them.
@JennyW1 and @thriftybride gave some good advice.
You can personalize the note without mentioning how you are spending the money.
I wrote very personalized thank you cards but only ever said "thank you for your contribution to our new life together as husband and wife!". I think it covers everything nicely!
I've heard this is proper etiquette, but I think it would be really wierd to get a thank-you note from a couple telling me how they were spending the $. I don't really want to know, I mean obviously it's going towards savings or paying something off like the honeymoon. My $ gift to them wouldn't change if I knew what it was for, so I honestly don't care.
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My husband and I tend to be a little... frugal. Our parents paid a portion of the wedding and we're both pretty good savers, so the cost of our wedding and honeymoon were completely pre-paid before I even set foot down the aisle.
I'm just starting to sit down and write thank you cards, and a lot of our guests gave us very generous cash gifts. Etiquette books suggest you write how you're planning to use a gift to personalize the note. Honestly, our only intention with the gift money is to put it in our savings account, and let it sit there, but that sounds so boring! I'm leaning toward saying it went toward the honeymoon...
It's pure semantics at this point, but if you give a cash gift at a wedding would you prefer to hear that the couple spent it to offset wedding costs, spent it on their honeymoon or put it in savings, or something else??