Weddingbee boards

Let me preface this by giving you a little background on myself...

When I was young, I suffered from anorexia nervosa. I'm sure you all know what it is. I was 19, 5'3, and 75lbs at one point in time. I went through hell trying to get my BMI back under control and I went to tons of therapy. Though I've since gained weight (in fact, I was a bit chubby when I first began the road to recovery because my metabolism had slowed so much! I've evened off, though) and although I now carry on a fairly normal life, a lot of the mental issues of the disorder still remain. 

Now, I don't have a problem with bigger people. I prefer my hubby having more meat on his bones, and some of the most BEAUTIFUL and POWERFUL looking women in the world are much more voluptuous than I am. I envy them and how great they look, I just don't carry weight well. It's a problem that I have with MYSELF not with anyone else, so I hope this doesn't upset anyone in any way. It really is just an issue with my mind, it's no indicator of how I view anyone but myself. That said...

Today in Alfred Angelo I was trying on a few dresses. The girl helping me, who is of course, 5'8 and super SUPER thin (without asking my size) pulled a size 12 and a size 14. I was confused because everywhere else I've been a size 6. "uhh...those look a little big for me." I told her, and she goes (almost a little annoyed) "yeah, well they run small and I don't know your size." (it's not like she asked me) so I go "well, I'm a little under a size 4 in pants if that helps..." and she's like "OMG, REALLY?!?" (like she's so surprised I could ever be a 4) and goes "I never would have guessed that, I'll go pull smaller ones, sorry!" so I was like "wow, thanks a mil." then she comes back and it turns out the only other size that she could find in that style was a size 4. Guess what? IT FIT PERFECTLY...I didn't like it, though. Or maybe I just didn't like her. Anyway. 

I found her very rude and now I feel like I never ever want to eat again. I keep looking at myself in the mirror and crying, it's like high school all over again. I felt so guilty after eating dinner today. Anyway.

I just wanted to vent about it, I guess. Has anyone else been insulted or upset like this at a bridal boutique or experienced bad customer service? 

@colli459: Thanks! It was just very frustrating. I actually got up to 155 after I began my journey of recovery and then I dropped back down to 115 which is where I've been for about 2 years, now. 

Lol, yeah, my Danny actually likes more voluptuous girls. Though he'd never ever admit it, I think I'm a little on the thin side for him now. He loves me no matter what, though. ^_^

Thanks, guys. I did actually try on a dress I LOVED at a different shop where the consultant was amazing and SO NICE. The only reason I went to Alfred Angelo was because I'm doing an "enchanted forest fairytale" wedding, and I wanted to try on the snow white dresses. (there are 2 now, the older one and the new one) I really liked the other dress, but I felt like I had to be sure and try these two on. Now I know. 

I need to just keep focusing on the positive things people are telling me. <3 

@HappierKate:  Yeah, I told Danny and he was pretty pissed off. He may call them and tell them to teach their associates some manners. I just want to forget about it, honestly, but I do want to help other girls avoid going through this, so I may have him go ahead and do it. 

I just looked at your other posts with you in the wedding dresses, and you look fabulous.  Congrats to you for working so hard to overcome your anorexia- I think your FI should call, there's no reason for that consultant to make other women (who may or may not have struggled with weight) feel like crap.  I don't know why she didn't just ask your size to begin with instead of assuming something way off- who knows, she may have her own stuff going on and feeling smaller than others boosts her self confidence.  Again, you look beautiful and I'm glad you found a dress you loved!

@anchors_away:  Thanks so much. That really means a lot to me. <3 

 @sunkisthappy:  Good point! You may be on to something with the "needing alterations" idea, there...

I experienced bad customer service at AA as well.  I would never tell anyone to go there.  The girl asked me what I wanted...I said nothing to fancy..not plain but not overdone on the bling and detail, no pickups and I ddint' want a ball gown.  She asked my buget...I said 500 and then she showed me thier book and told me to pick out things I like...so I did....to which she said...well that dress has a lot of detail...that one is a ball gown...guess I can totally discount everything you told me then.  As if my opinion was now null and void.  Apparently she took this to heart becasue she then brought in a 1200 dress for me to try on...grrr....I didn't buy from them either.  I'm sorry you had this experience.  I have weight issues too....the only advice I can give is to try to let it go..think about the lessons you learned in therapy...

@furtureffcaptwife:  Thanks you. <3 And wow...that's really rude. They need to work on their customer service there, seriously. That's so not cool she brought you a dress that was way out of your budget, too. 

@Mrs.Lonestar:  Thank you so much. It got to me for a little while and I really didn't want to eat like, AT ALL for a day, but Danny and two of my bridesmaids came to my aid and made me feel loads better. I know I shouldn't base how I feel about my looks off of other people, but Danny doesn't necessarily like super skinny girls, anyway, so...that kind of helps, haha. Plus my one bridesmaid is a baker and she made me peanut butter cupcakes, so I just HAD to try one! The fact I was able to eat that cupcake even though I've been having body dysmorphia issues lately made me realize how far I'd come since I was first treated. If this was 9 years ago I wouldn't have eaten the cupcake at all and just cried. 

@Mouse217:  Aw, thank you so much! Unfortunately I feel like I'll always be dealing with it, but at least now I'm handling it. 

Oh yeah, he called. He really was not happy but he kept it under control and was classy about it. I'm glad he called, I didn't even want to deal with it. That's the cool thing about Danny, when I'm like "I don't even want to" about something that kinda needs to be done, he'll do it no questions asked. 

Ha! Alfred Angel-ho, I love it!! Yeah, the other consultant is getting a thank you letter and perhaps a gift basket with chocolate...I hope she's not vegan or allergic to chocolate or something. =S 

@alicia1745: thanks. Yeah, those AA girls need customer relations training or something. :( 

@LittleRiver: OMG! That's horrible!!! Seriously, these people should be working AWAY from the general public, not in bridal shops. If they want you to buy things from them you think they'd act like they thought you were SMALLER than your actual size, not bigger. Or, you know...they could just ASK you your size...

I wanna show you guys the dress I ended up choosing. NOT from Alfred Angelo. I'm very excited and happy about it. 

@imageeksowhat:  I just wanted to say that I LOVE your tattoos :) and you look freakin AMAZEBALLS in your dress!

Thank you so much, guys. This is why I love this site. I swear you're all just good, kind hearted people. 

@peasantsong: It's the pits, isn't it? I'm sorry you had to go through it, too. :( thank you for your kind words, they mean so much to me! 

 @SubmarinersBride:  I have absolutely no doubt you got what I'm going through. Anorexia nervosa is actually considered a mental disorder, so you and I aren't so different, not to mention the fact that many times it goes hand in hand with other psychological problems. I won't get into my psych history right now, lol, but yeah. You and I are kind of birds of a feather. That quote is really amazing, I love that. Thank you. 

Hahaha, I love all of you guys. 

I second all the positive things that all the other Bees have said. I had something similar happen at Davids Bridal. The consultant told me I needed 12s or 14s and sort of huffed at me for pulling 2s and 4s. She even said something to the effect of "well you don't know your size and that's why you have me to tell you what it is." In the end, my best size WAS a 2 and she never apologized, she just wrote down the size and style. People say stuff without thinking. Please don't let them affect you.