- 3 years ago
- Wedding: May 2015
I’ll try to keep this short but im one that can talk forever so maybe long lol.
After lurking here for over a year i finally had my lightbulb moment from these boards. while my relationship was not truly terrible,my (former) SO had issues.lots and lots of issues.
I had lost so much of my confidence due to his negativity,his anxiety,his inibility to show affection,his failure to compromise on even the smallest thing,his failure to love…and much more which i wont even bother going into detail on.
Then one day whilst lurking i came across the post from kait (anne?). while her situation didnt match mine, i read through all the responses (like 15 pages!) and the words regarding self respect,deserving better etc really hit home to me.
the post from This time around was the best thing i have ever read and thats the post that hit me the most
over the following week or two i started looking at his actions,not listening to the words….and nope,they didnt match up!
so summoned the last shred of dignity i had and told him i deserved to feel loved, wanted and treated with respect and that i had done nothing but the best for him in the last few years and had gotten nothing at all back. my rose tinted glasses were well and truly off and i saw my relationship for what it actually was,rather than what i wanted (hoped) it would be.
A month on….i feel great! my confidence has grown back tenfold, im doing things for ME. im looking after ME. and im finally loving ME again
He is currently in therapy and doing ok. we have little contact but i do know he is determined to overcome his issues to have a better life
what happens in the future,who knows,all i know is that i am going to carry on as i am and what will be will be. I am not going to settle for less than i deserve,i know that much
So thank you bees.For the support you give to make others see that they DONT deserve crap,the words to help them regain some dignity,and most of you the words you say that help people like me realise that having respect for yourself, and recieving respect from the other half is a neccessity
you saved this newbee from more years of being unhappy, i cant thank you enough for that
as the name says, im stronger now. thanks to you xx