Post # 1
I’m a graduate student, and was at my school’s holiday party and ran into this girl, we’ll call her Beth. I do not normally talk to Beth but I’m friendly with her (when we first met we were at a loud bar for a welcome night and I was yelling in French word by word because no one could hear me otherwise, and she went as far to say that my French was awful. I’ve been living in the country for years now, and that was uncalled for). Anyways, she wanted to congratulate me on the engagement (we are facebook friends)… and wanted to know the date because she wanted to make sure she could attend. What?!?!? I talk to Beth in the halls in passing, that’s about it! Then she asked to see a picture of my wedding dress cause she knows I recently went shopping, but I’d rather keep it a surprise minus my close friends and family.
I’m really limiting my guest list, as my family and myself can’t really afford to have a giant wedding. In total we may have 80 to 90 people at the wedding, about 30-35 from my side. I’m fine with having just my close friends and family, and would much rather get married than wait a few years to have a bigger wedding.
Having those comments makes things super uncomfortable….
Post # 3
It is rude and presumptuous of her to expect to attend your wedding. Sometimes people take you by surprise when they raise this or any other subject, but in the long run it is much easier to deal with it at the time.
” I’m sorry, we are having a small intimate wedding and I will nor be able to invite everyone I would like to.(even if she is not someone you would like to invite, you will be gracious).
Post # 4
Personally, i’d ignore it. She’ll figure out she’s not invited when she doesn’t get an invitation.
Post # 5
I would be very polite, but I would try to nip this in the bud as soon as possible to avoid any ongoing confusion on her part.
The next time Beth inquires about your wedding, I would say something like, “You are so sweet to ask! I appreciate your taking the time to be interested, especially since we really do not know each other very well. Also, now that I have a moment to chat, I need to clarify something. I know that you had expressed some interest in attending my wedding, and I am very flattered that you would be interested! However, I need to let you know that, as much as we would love to invite everyone we know to share this special day with us, our guest list actually is going to be limited to our family members and very close friends. I hope you understand.
If she asks again to see a pic of your dress, I would say something such as, “Well it is beautiful, and I am so excited about it! However, for now, I am not really showing people pics of the dress.”
Post # 6
Yeah, I think some people are just like, that ‘ooh when is it, I can’t wait.’ You can just ignore them, their comments are harmless–they’ll figure it out when they don’t get an invitation.
Post # 7
Ok, well I’ve had this happen in another instance from another girl (on Facebook). The thing is we are in an international setting, and both of these girls come from cultures where you invite everyone to your wedding. I guess that is in their defense…but still, so awkward and really hard to say in a group setting that some people are invited while others aren’t. Nrgrgh…..
Post # 8
Ignore it for now, but also nip it in the bud- if she says anything else, then just smile and say that the wedding is going to be very small, and you won’t be able to invite everyone you hoped to. And walk away.
Post # 9
@red_rose: yes I agree. Ignore in the begining but if someone pushes it just reply that it’s so nice of them to want to celebrate with you but you’re having a very small wedding for family and close friends. leave it at that.
Post # 10
Very late comment, but my two cents: Don’t talk about your wedding to people you don’t intend to invite.
That goes for posting details on Facebook that you know non-invitees will see in their newsfeed and comment upon.