Weddingbee boards

I have a wonderful husband that surprised me several times a year with flowers. I love flowers and I especially love that he buys me flowers (none of the ex’s ever bought flowers). However, I don’t like his taste in flowers. He just sent me lilies and I don’t like lilies. I don’t think they are pretty (my opinion only) and the pollen gets on everything. And this is the 2nd time he’s gotten me lilies and I gently told him last time that I don’t like lilies. He even got me this crazy Strawberry Margarita bouquet once--which I don’t understand because I don’t even drink much.

I’ve told him I love Gerbera Daisies. But I haven’t gotten any of those. I’ve even circled flower catalogs to give him the hint of what I liked. It’s like his taste in flowers is steadily gotten worse the longer we are together.

But when I gently try to tell him that I prefer other flowers (usually weeks after I’ve received them and shown him how happy and grateful I am), his feelings get hurt. I know I sound awful, but I don’t want him to keep spending $50-$100 on stuff I don’t like.

 So do I suck it up and pretend I’m all rainbows and unicorns about it or do I say something (eventually, not now, maybe in a few weeks)? And if I say something, how can I say it without making him feel bad?

I wish I could just send him an Amazon Flower wish list!

@Neva: He uses Pro-flowers and 1-800-Flowers, so I don't think I can do that.

Would he be offended if you gave him a list of flowers that you do like?  

I agree with Neva in the calling the flourist. You already told him so there's not a lot you can do other than continously pointing out the flowers you like.

Being honest if it was me I'd suck it up, but that's me. Maybe you can tell him how inconvenient you think lilies are becaus eof the pollen.

I don't say "suck it up" because it sounds like he buys you flowers pretty often. I'd say something casually. Like "I love that you buy me flowers. My favorite kind is ___ since they're beautiful and don't get pollen everywhere." Maybe that's just me because FI and I are pretty open, and it's not said to hurt his feelings! Definitely thank him a lot though so he knows that you do appreciate it.

Don't say anything, but when he does give you the florwers you love, go crazy with excitement! :)

I buy flowers all the time from Whole Foods and Safeway. So he sees what I like. I think that is what is so frustrating. I have gently told him what I like and even shown him pictures.

I think I'm going to have a conversation that begins, "I was reading on WB a story that a girl was grateful for getting flowers, but really hated his selection. What do *you* think she should do? Tell him? How could she hint without hurting his feeling?"

LOL

I agree with PP to suck it up.. I so wouldn't complain if my DH bought me flowers even if it was flowers I hated!

I talked to my husband about this, and he says that Pro-flowers and 1-800-Flowers all go through the same local florist in each area. If you do a bit of research, you might be able to figure out which florist they use in your area. When my husband ordered flowers for his mom when he lived in England (she lives in Cape Cod), the florist knew his mother and totally changed his order to something she'd like. Now, he just contacts that florist and says, "I want to spend $X. Send flowers to my mom." Perhaps you could contact that florist and let them know your preferences.

Or, you could tell your husband that you're friends with [name of friend] who always uses [name of local florist] and they are fantastic and you want to make sure your money goes to a local business. Then, stop by [local florist] and tell them about your situation.

The only thing I can suggest is what some of the PPs have suggested - tell him that whilst you think lillies are lovely, their pollen really wreaks havoc on your allergies/senses and you would prefer not to have them in the house.  Tell him you love the gesture but they are really difficult to cope with.  He doesn't have to know that you can pluck the things out of the middle to make them less pungent and reduce the pollen.

Beyond that, my only other suggestion would be to go with the plant idea - tell him you love the gesture but you're now a stage where you'd like to have more established, long lasting plants to brighten up the house on a long term basis, rather than some beautiful flowers that only last a week or so.  

Good luck - It sounds like you have a very sweet husband, but I understand what it's like when you feel a bit guilty that they're spending money on something you don't like!