Post # 1
My husband has invited his mom’s side of the family (3-4 additional people) to our home for Thanksgiving. They live a few hours away, so it will need to be arranged for them to travel to our house, and stay with us.
His mother hasn’t given us a concrete answer if they’ll be coming or not. She said “maybe” and then “probably” about 2 weeks ago, but hasn’t said for sure yet. She mentioned before that maybe we could have dinner on Friday to accomidate DH’s sister (meaning she and her family could be coming, too) however I never heard back on that.
I’m wondering how long you’d wait for a definite answer on this? I’d like to start planning my menu for the holiday, as well as shopping for some of the food. I do not feel that anyone would contribute to the meal besides DH and I, since he invited them to our home. (Drinks, cocktails, turkey dinner, all the sides, plus having food in the house for additional company is a grocery bill in itself).
Am I just being anxious to want to know this in advance? If it was just going to be DH and I on thanksgiving, I would fix a small dinner for the two of us and call it good.
Post # 3
It annoys me that I feel like I’m going to have to text my MIL and say “so are you coming?”.
Post # 4
I’d prod a little. It is hard to know in advance sometimes, but if they are making travel plans they should know.
Something like a text with “Hey mom, I’m just out getting getting some stuff to freshen up the guest room. Want to make sure we have it all cleaned out in time if you guys are coming – do you have plans yet?”
Make it sound a little bit like if they decide at the last minute that it will really put you out. Since, you know, it would.
Post # 5
@almostmrsj: Agreed, it totally would! We have my sister coming into town one day before they are supposed to arrive – she has a family of 5, soon to be 6. DH & I have a small townhome so we are blowing up airbeds to accomidate her little ones and I’m making a “sleepover with auntie!” in the living room….so yes, to clean up after that and accept more company into our home the following day is sort of a tight time frame. I’d totally make it work, but I’d like to know in advance what I’m getting myself into!
We do have one nice guest room, we just have a 2 bedroom home and usually put up an aerobed in our office for additional guests. My nieces and nephew are small enough that we can play on the “sleepover” idea and make that fun – lol
Post # 6
@MrsD41503: Oh damn – I was thinking more along the lines of my guest room that has my off-season clothes and craft supplies in it that I have to “clean out” before we have guests over. Yeah – that’s a major undertaking you have to be prepared for! You definitely don’t need to be grocery shopping with all the crazies at 11pm the night before Thanksgiving.
Post # 7
@MrsD41503: well I’d say they have to let you know by last night because that’s when I made SO call his sister and harass her for a definitive answer :-P. we usually do my cousins on dad’s side on Thursday and mom’s side on Friday. I was going to skip dad’s and host SO’s family but his sisters are both divorced and there are five kids and three dads between them so they sometimes have trouble coordinating holiday schedules. it didn’t work out so I guess I’m not hosting. Bummer but we will try for Christmas.
Post # 8
I would tell your FH to call her and get a final answer because you need to plan on how much food to provide. You would like to do your big shopping trip on *pick a date* so you need a final answer (and a final number) by *pick a date*.
It isn’t unreasonable to get an answer a few weeks beforehand, but I always let FH take the lead with his family and I take the lead with mine. If he doesn’t get an answer, I would put the ownus on him to cook and prepare for the festivities.