Post # 1
Yowch, my pride.
Let me start this off by saying that I am very used to my Mother being harsh about my appearance. I’m a UK size 16-18, which I think is a US 14-16. I’m only five foot four so I know I’m big. I’m a 36GG and carry a fair amount of weight on my stomach, though I’m more of a wide hourglass. Not good. My Mother has basically spent the last few years trying to ‘fat shame’ me into losing the weight. I rebelled for the longest time, eventually deciding to lose it for my own sake. And since the new year, I’ve lost two stone! (That’s 28lbs). I’ve got to lose another three stone to hit my ideal weight, but I’m taking a few weeks off from starvation mode ATM.
Anyway, I mentioned to my mother that I’d fallen head over heels for the Allure 8862:
And that I’d found sites that sell cheap replicas, and a shop within walking distance of the house that sells actual ones! Of course we’re not getting married for a couple years yet, and by then I will have hit my target weight (140lbs) and hopefully be wearing a UK size 12 (US size 10). I’d got excited about purchasing a second-hand one once it wasn’t a current season design.
She said, ‘it’s a beautiful dress, dear, but it wouldn’t look right with your body type. Sweetheart necklines just won’t look right with your chest, and big poofy skirts aren’t the most flattering for people with wider hips. No offence, but this dress would only really look good on someone who was a size 8 (US size 6).
Owch – right in the confidence! I’ll try and talk her round closer to the time. I brushed it off quite easily (like I always do) so I’m not even remotely upset or angry about it, but I wanted to hear from other bees. Have you recieved any comments on your body type being ‘wrong’ for a gorgeous dress, or been told you’re too big to look good in a particular one? If so, did it bother you or did you shrug it off?
Post # 3
And ought I have to put this in Fuller Figured, not Dress?
Post # 4
@ZebraPrintMe: She is wrong. One of my best friends wore the “Belle” dress by Alfred Angelo… and she is I think a size 16. She looked amazing in it!! Same style and all. And she has a LARGE chest haha and the seamstress fit her perfect.
Post # 5
- Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall
Well if it counts for anything, I disagree with her opinions that sweethearts don’t look good on large chests, and that poofy skirts don’t look good on wide hips. Quite the contrary – poofy A-lines are good for hiding hips because the lower half looks the same on a big girl or a small girl. It won’t hug any problem areas, either, so long as the waist is in the right spot.
That said, I would not recommend ordering a dress for a size you have not yet hit. It puts a lot of pressure on you in an already stressful time, and plateauing during weightloss (happens to everyone, despite good diet and exercise) or losing more weight up top than on bottom, could mean being unable to use your dress at all (or with complicated and expensive alterations). I still wish you luck in your goal, but only order the dress once you get real close!
Post # 6
Congrats on your weight loss – sounds like it’s making you very happy!
I don’t really think it’s an entirely valid comment.
A lot of clothes look good on the model/ on the runway/ on smaller sizes etc.
I mean, most clothes are designed for size 0’s to start with, right?
But then again some clothes just don’t work on some people. My sister and I are similar-sized, but she can wear the crap out of some things that would just look bad on me.
It depends on your individual body type and shape, I think.
I don’t think she was trying to be mean exactly, but it probably could have been worded nicer.
I would suggest not involving your mom in your dress shopping if she’s going to try and use it as a tool to make you unhappy with your body – and let her know that, too. :/
Do you have a picture of you in the dress?
Post # 7
@CakeyP: Sorry, haven’t had chance to try it on. Didn’t want to take her to the bridal shop if she didn’t like it, definitely don’t want to go alone. Want to try it so badly though!!
Post # 8
@ZebraPrintMe: Bah, I say find a different (farther away from home!) bridal shop offering the same style, bring a friend and try it on!
OR, you can go try on prom dresses/ball gowns in similar styles. Much less pressure, and you might learn a bit about what dresses look good on your body! Just a thought.
Post # 9
that dress was actually one of the ones that the plus size friendly shop i went to carried. I am a US 14 and not to toot my own.horn I though I looked fabulous in it. It wasnt the one because it did’t fit my overall vision but it was definitely a dress that i mever thought i could wear but was plesantly surprised….. i even thought if getting it as a reception dress but i just couldnt spend more on the dress
Post # 10
Sorry, OP, but your mother is WRONG. I have tried this gown on (in a size 8, mind you, while I am a bridal size 16 – all US) and even four sizes too small it looked awesome! I’m a pear-shaped hourglass (a little too much junk in the trunk), and the poofy skirt was very forgiving. Please try this dress; I think you’ll like it!
Post # 11
That dress will look fabulous on you! Try it on girl! Congrats on your weight loss, and don’t let anyone bring you down.
Post # 12
@ZebraPrintMe: I think you should try it on no matter what you end up deciding, just so you don’t have any regrets later and so that you don’t look back thinking “what if” you know… I am a wide hip girl myself and around 140lbs and got the Allure 8955 dress, which is pretty much the sister dress to your dream dress (just lace bodice)… and its really flattering, BECAUSE it hides my hips and makes my waist look TINY!! So since my widest part of my body is covered, i look skinny!! YAY!! Unless you try it on, you shouldn’t x it out!!! Good luck 🙂
Ps. sorry i don’t have pics to share, but trust me, this dress is really flattering on most body shapes!!
Post # 13
Not knowing what you look like I would say that dress will likely look great on you. I think because the ‘tummy’ part is rouched and has the bling to take away from the flub you should be great. Only major issue i could see is the ladies hanging out the top.
Go for it girl!!
Post # 14
Sweetheart necklines are VERY flattering. The waist hits at the natural waist, which will emphasize the narrowest part of your body. The skirt will hide everything else.
Post # 15
@ZebraPrintMe: You are doing fabulous with your weightloss. I think your mother needs to cram it and keep her opinions to herself. Only until you see the dress on your body can you accurately judge.
Maybe you need to tell Mother that her unsolicited opinions are best kept to herself as she’s hurting your feelings. Any more of that and you’ll be happy to consult other family members and friends who are more supportive of YOU!
Post # 16
@ZebraPrintMe: sorry to hear about the rude comments from your mom 🙁
If it makes any difference to you, my dress is similar to the one you love and I am plus size, have large hips & chest… and I think it looks pretty good!
(note it is not my size in this pic)
I think (more weight loss or not) you will look great in whatever dress you find. Make sure you try on the dress you love! I bet it will look lovely