Post # 1
Ok, so as I’ve said before, my boyfriend is doing a remodel on his bar… well technically he manages it and his brother in law owns it… WELL, we have a ton of people staying at our house for the remodel, and we keep very different schedules, so at 10 when they are coming home from the bar (after work, so they’ve been drinking) I’m trying to sleep, and my boyfriend’s brother in law busts through the door (we live in a rather small house with apparently paper thin walls) hollering and talking loud while I’m trying to sleep, not to mention one of the guys is calling my name and trying to find me, then knocks on the bedroom door to find me half asleep… So I’m in a house, alone, with all of these men who I barely know (the only one I really sort of know is Jason’s BIL) and Jason is working…
So I’m starting to get really uncomfortable, but I’m trying to sleep and they are being so loud, slamming doors yelling to eachother down the hall, honking horns and ringing the doorbell (for no apparent reason!) So I text Jason and tell him that I’m miserable and they are being loud… so he politely texts his BIL to try and be quieter because I’m trying to sleep…
WELL! His BIL goes off on a tangent about how I don’t pay rent so I should stop b*tching and we aren’t married and all of this other crap about he’s doing this to help Jason and doesn’t give a flying sh*t about me etc etc. And Jason is sticking up for me saying “don’t talk about my girlfriend that way, I really care about her etc etc.” THEN BIL goes off on how I have no right to say anything when I’m living in a house that is paid for on borrowed money! (Which it isn’t, the BAR borrowed money from the other bars in the “family owned business” to pay bills, some of which was for paychecks… and yes, Jason pays his mortgage with his paycheck, and I currently am paying rent on a house that I was supposed to rent before Jason asked me to stay at his house…) And pretty much saying that he owns him and he needs to do whatever he says! So Jason goes off on him and says that he hopes this was just the alcohol talking and BIL goes off AGAIN saying he could make more money putting his time and effort into something else he was just doing this for him and since Jason is so ungrateful that he’s just going to close down the bar. But that they’ll talk about it tomorrow.
So this morning I wake up for work and feel COMPLETELY uncomfortable (and major guilt) with these people who apparently hate me staying in our house so I came into work an hour and a half early (and brought the dog) just to get out of there… And ontop of that I don’t know if my boyfriend will have a job at the end of the day. Today is terrible.
How can someone do that to their FAMILY!? Does he not see that he is ruining his relationship with his WIFE’S BROTHER!?
UGH. I really hope it was the alcohol, but I don’t think I can ever forgive BIL for saying what he said about me. It was SO hurtful.
Post # 3
Oh my gosh that is awful! ((Hugs!!!)) You did the right thing getting out of the house. I’ve had people stay at our place before who essentially did the same thing and it really pissed me off, so I feel your pain. I would feel so uncomfortable with people I don’t really know staying in the house if my Fiance weren’t here. J’s BIL sounds like a class one a$$hole, pardon my language. Cross your fingers it was just the alcohol talking, but sometimes the way people feel under it all comes out after a few too many. What a jerk. He sounds like someone who likes to feel important and like a big man and he does that by putting other people down. Your boyfriend should talk to him about all this, but it sounds like a situation that will always be an undertone. You guys are going to need to take some distance from it all, which will be hard to do considering it’s a family business. Personally I would write him off as a huge drunken jerk and just keep my distance for a while. Let your boyfriend handle the fall out, he’ll know how to handle his family best.
Post # 4
aww not a good situation, can you go back to the place were your paying rent on?? and stay there and Jason comes visits you? would that make it more comfortable
Alcohol can do some stupid things, but I think it was so wrong to talk to you like that with alchohol or no alchohol.
Post # 5
I should also add that Jason and his BIL are SUPER close, Jason even said that he wanted his BIL to be his best man over his BROTHER at our wedding. So, insult to injury. UGH.
And I could, but I rent the place with two other people and I JUST got someone to start paying rent on the room, I could go stay on the couch, but it would still be just as awkward because I don’t feel like I live there… and well now, I don’t feel like I have anywhere to call home. I’ve been torn up about this all night and everytime I think about it I just can’t stop crying.
I feel so guilty and angry and then I feel like a useless freeloader 🙁 I hate how sensitive I am sometimes…
Post # 6
I think stay on the couch for the next few days till it blows over, at least you have some where to stay.
The jerk owes you an apology.
Post # 7
I texted Jason this morning when I got to work saying “I support you, and I want you to do whatever you have to, to keep the bar open. I will put on a happy face and get through this… But I don’t think I will ever see BIL the same way again. But I’ll fake it for your sake.”
he just texted me back “I don’t think I can either… I love you.”
Poor guy… I feel so terrible for him! He keeps telling me it’s not my fault but I can’t help but feel guilty, if I just sucked it up and never said anything this wouldn’t have happened.
I might just stay at my work for a couple days, we have a full kitchen and everything, I can go to Jason’s and shower while they are at the bar or something (or to my other house)… I work everyday until Thursday so, I’ll be here anyway. But maybe I’ll look into staying at the house.. I mean, I’m still paying some rent there… and it is my couch.
Post # 8
Wow. THis sucks!
If I were you, I would take that couch at your old place for at least a little while. It’s not worth the lack of sleep, rudeness and uncomfortability.
Atleast your Boyfriend or Best Friend stood up for you though!
Post # 9
Well for an update: his BIL appologized. He was very drunk and he’s under alot of stress (which although that doesn’t really excuse him, he’s family so we’ll accept it, for now). After he appologized to me personally He went home to spend time with his family (he lives an hour away) and I saw him again yesterday and he was making sure he was super nice to me in an effort to keep things smoothed over. So for now things are ok.
And I do have to say I am so thankful for the other guys who are staying, they are very respectful, clean up after themselves, and they shower regularly! Our house actually smells like clean boy! haha Which is helpful since this remodel is going to take WAY longer than expected… Instead of the “they’ll only be here for a week” it’s turned into “Well it’s probably going to take a month”.
So long romance, time alone, actually SEEING my boyfriend. Oh well, I’m not really in any rush anymore, we’re probably looking at a 2012 wedding instead of an ’11 anyway. Time just isn’t on our side right now.