Weddingbee boards

Ughhh, I am so worked up over this right now. I just got back from the bank and have been steaming the whole way. Went to my local wells fargo to deposit a check. Get in line to wait my turn and I finally get called. The teller says, in a condescending voice, "How can I help you sweetheart?"

Was she a nice old lady around the same age as my grandmother, NO! She was MY age! When did it become acceptable in a client/worker relationship to call someone "sweetie" or "sweetheart"? when your significant other says it, it's cute, when grandma or the nice old man says it, it's a generational thing, but when someone your own age says it, it's derogatory! I am so sick of being called sweetheart and sweetie and "hun" by smart-ass young women who are oftentimes younger than me! Sooo not okay! If she does it next time, I am going to say something. I scowled at her when she said it and she was so rude to me while I was at the counter.

This really cooks my grits. . .ughh does this bother anyone else!? How do you call someone out on it but still be polite?

@Zinzerena: I'm from the South too, but I was always raised to believe that when you are in a customer service position, stick to "Sir, Ma'am, or Miss", unless your name is Flo and you own a diner, then you get a green pass to call people hun, darlin, puddin pop, or whatever the heck you want.

Truthfully, it doesn't bother me a bit when people considerably older than me call me sweetheart or hun, but people my own age, well, it just rubs me the wrong way.

The number of people who don't like being called Ma'am surprises me, but I can understand that. To me, it shows respect for someone. Yes Ma'am, no Sir, and I appreciate when people show that respect to me. It encourages me to be respectful in return. I've never once thought, wow that makes me feel old, but to each their own!

I don't like it when people I don't know call me by what I consider "pet names", but it bugs me even more when they've seen my ID or credit/bank card and call me by my first name! I'm sorry, have we met? No? Then why are you being so familiar with me?

One of the bigger department stores here is notorious for this and I just want to shake them every time they call me Jane and go, "THAT'S MS. DOE TO YOU, BUDDY!"

This topic has come up before on WB and I remember it quite well because someone was all worked up about being called one of these names by their waitress and then didn't tip them because of it.

I'm 25 and was a waitress for a while. I often called my customers "hun" without even thinking. Seriously, the words just come out!! Customer: "Can I get a soda?" Me: "No problem hun!"

Uh yea that's just me being friendly, not condescending or derogatory. That's just the way I talk!! I never understood why people get all worked up over it. :(

(Also, I'm from NY so it's not people from the south...)

ETA: @linguo42: I've also worked in retail and management tells the cashiers to address customers by their name if they see it on their CC or ID. I don't understand why they do it and I hate it too, but just know that the casher is just doing what they've been told to do.

@Floridagirl2010: I don't want to come across as sounding like some high maintanence customer who raises hell at the slightest thing, in fact, I am normally very very flexible and easy going with people on the other side of the counter. I worked in retail and was also a waitress for many years so i know how impossible some customers can be and try very hard to not be one of those people. This pet peeve of mine has been years in the making. I look young for my age and am admittingly hyper sensitive at even the slightest hint of people treating me like a child.

example: I'm 24 years old and still get offered kids menus, yeah it's that bad. I know i know, when I'm 40 I will be thankful, but right now it's super frustrating and it's always been like this.

But for you to say I am getting worked up over nothing is not accurate. It's not nothing. Terms such as Sweetheart, hun, sweetie, etc. imply a level of familiarity and degree of knowing someone. Here in the south the terms are tossed around a lot, especially by people of past generations. If I'm having a casual conversation with someone, sure call me sweetheart all you want (people using it in situations to show empathy), but my point is, I believe it has no place in the service industry. People disagree with me, i know, but that's why it made me so upset.

If she had said that but had a pleasant attitude, I would have let it go, but that combined with her rudeness, was too much for me.

@TinyTina: wow, I would definitely never not tip someone beacause of it. It bothers me, but not THAT much.

I am guilty of doing this to patients.  They may or may not like it, but I also don't really give a shit.  I'm not putting anyone down by calling them "sweetheart" or "hun". It's an endearing term.  

@TinyTina: Well aware :) I used to work at a job where we were required to thank the customer by last name whenever possible, and that I can kind of get behind, but I think it's terrible policy to tell employees that using a customer's first name is okay when they have no past history with that customer. I know it's supposed to inspire the whole buddy-buddy "we're a friendly company" feeling, but to me it's just insulting.

I don't like it either, but if you live in Georgia, this is probably that woman's way of speaking. When I lived in the Carolinas, I had people my own age who talked to me like that. Being that I didn't grow up in the South, I originally felt like they were being super condescending, but then I realized it's just part of the culture.

Do I like it and would I personally speak that way?

No, but I doubt she meant to offend you, and I feel you on being sensitive towards people treating you like a child because I look very young, as well!

@MrsCoachBtoBee: yes! It really is all about tone. This teller's tone was "hi, I'm going to talk to you like you're five"

Thanks for everyone's opinions. It will still bother me when people do this, but hearing from some PP who are truly just trying to be nice and not condescending when they use these terms will help me to "let it go" in the future.

@Floridagirl2010: to be fair, the real reason I scowled was because this was just the straw that broke the camel's back, this girl has been rude to me before.