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I think what you suggested is fine. It is fine to have a different kind of wedding with a smaller guest list. People need to understand- if they don't its them being presumptuous. It is fine to send out engagement picture in a holiday card, but I would not necessarily announce the BBQ next summer because your guest list might change again before then.
@smiles72: I think its a great idea to send the holiday card. Maybe the BBQ can be a surprise wedding. Just a thought, I think Jennifer Anniston and Brad Pitt did it that way. Congrats and good luck with your family;0)
Sorry to hear about your no-show-groom but it sounds like everything has worked out for the best :)
Sending out a photo holiday card is a good way to get folks used to your FI's face and name. As to the invited/not-invited list, I'd just simply invite those who are on your list (but separately from the season's greetings) and not say anything to the others unless they are presumptuous enough to ask. Then just explain that it's going to be a small wedding but that there will be opportunities to meet your new FI in the future.
I think most people will understand, really, without too much explanation. And I'd steer clear of anything that could be read as "we're getting married but you're not invited."
I like your idea of the holiday w/ engagment photo. Maybe later on you could send a "save the date" for the Meet the _____ BBQ. I am sure your friends will be so happy that you are now happy that they really won't care if the plan is much smaller this time. Your fiends just want to see you happy. Best of luck to you both!!!
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Last year, July 2010, I was suppose to get married. A big wedding was planned and many guests arrived. Unfortunately, the groom to be did not arrive on the wedding day. Fast forward to now. Recently, I became engaged to a different fiance. We would like to have a small wedding 2012.
My question is how do I announce that we are having a small wedding to the many family and friends who were invited to the first almost wedding last year. We would also like to inform them that we plan to host a "Meet the______" BBQ next summer.
I was thinking of sending out holiday cards with our engagement photo. Any suggestions/advise on how to communicate this information would be helpful. Thanks!