Post # 1
I’ve heard that word about a thousand times today. When I first started planning the wedding, it seemed like 20K was a great amount for a 60 guest destination wedding to California.
Holy crap. I don’t think I’ve ever been so wrong in my life.
Almost every vendor who quoted us a price within the budget is now explaining that the quote was for the bare minimum of their service or product and their service/product is the main focus of every woman’s dream wedding that I’ll remember forever and I don’t want to have this one regret but especially, don’t I want my guests to be happy? The excuses and the upsells go on and on and on.
It’s gotten to the point where FI and I are thinking drastic thoughts.
Pull the plug before we send out the invites? Elope now, receptions later?
We’re already 8K down the rabbit hole and this is only the beginning.
When times were tough with the budget, what did you and your FI do?
How did you rein in the expenses? Or did you just go with it?
I’m so flustered right now, should I add a poll or something? Will that make me feel better?
Post # 3
@JackiBean: Oh you poor thing, try not to stress! Our budget has blown out a smidge too and we still have plenty to organise.
I’m a very girly girl and have always dreamed of a big white wedding.. but wedding planning and the reality of costs has also had me consider eloping! But my FI said i’ll regret it and he’s right, I want those memories of a really special day with my future husband, our friends and family.
Just be super realistic about what you spend your money on. My view always used to be ‘this is a once in a lifetime thing, I need the best of the best!’ however I now think well, it doesn’t need to be the best of the best, as long as I/we love it, that’s all that matters!
Yes, you can always consider eloping (my cousin did that and then we had a reception for them when they got home, she wore her dress again and it was lovely) but just make sure you won’t be sad later on about missing out on having your big day!
Post # 4
Hmmm chocolate !
FI and I stopped our planning when we started getting frustrated with quotes over our budget. We took a break from wedding related stuff and just waited until we could figure out our budgets. Our solution was to postpone our wedding 8 months later. And it was to go back to our first idea, which was a summer outdoor wedding in August 2015. We had moved it to winter 2015 hoping we would get maybe a few discounts, but that doesn’t happen in my area. Venues and vendors are greedy all year long ! 😉
I made a spreadsheet with 5-6 options and tried to detail the prices and services from each venue as much as I could. We took expensive venues off the list that way. And it turned out some of them we thought were too expensive, were in fact less expensive once we added every extra fees the other places wanted us to pay.
I think every 2 days, I wanted to throw everything in the thrashcan and elope with FI. But I kept reminding myself that my wedding wouldn’t be fun without my family, especially my parents and sisters. I need them to be there. And it would break my mom’s heart if I eloped. I was determined to find a solution. There was not many way around : vendors, venues and caterers were not really negociable, so we went with one of the cheapest (we loved though), and knew we had to cut expenses everywhere else. The money saved from everything else (dress, suit, shoes, accessories, decor, etc.) was what would allow us to pay our essentials (venue, catering, alcohol). That’s it. That’s how we figured it out. But we’re extremely frugal, and have a 6K wedding budget. I’m sure with 20K, you can find a solution !
Don’t pay any more deposits and don’t send out STDs or invites until you’ve figured out a plan and budget you’re both comfortable with.
Post # 5
@JackiBean: We are working with a completely differeny budget (mine is 10K with the money my future father in law was supposed to give us) and my father in law just went from giving us 3K to giving us $700 due to situations at work. So instead of giving up things we really want me and FI have picked up side jobs. I am now working 10 hours for 1 day a week making like 15 bucks an hour which will easily amount to about 400 a month. until the wedding my FI has picked up reffing soccer 2 – 5 times a week making about 200 a week bringing us to atleast another 400 a month to save. We will be okay. My friend said this and it really stuck. Money is money you need it to get by in life but you can always make more of it…Dont worry about the money think about what you are doing with you best friend (Future hubby.)
Post # 6
Seriously, I have been begging my FI to just eat the deposits and elope, but no-can-do, and we’re only about $3k into it…
Have a serious talk though. $8k is a lot to eat, but $20k is worse!
We went a bit out of budget on a lot of things, and those lot of things add up.
The best way for me to ground myself is ask myself this:
is it going to matter in 20 years? If the answer is No, I go with a cheaper option!
Post # 7
@JackiBean: I hear you. I thought we could do ours for 20K, now it’s looking like 30k. After a few days of freaking out, I kind of just accepted it. Eloping has sounded SOOOO nice, but deposits are in, yada yada. I just keep thinking to myself “It’s only money…and we’re always going to want more of it.” You may regret not throwing a big bash with your famly and friends. These will be memories that will last forever.
However, that seems ridiculous that vendors are pressuring you. Stand your ground. You know in your heart what’s best for you and your guests and don’t let these people push you around. Tell them your budget, and if they give you gripe, walk away. You will find someone who can do it for you within your means 🙂
Post # 8
Personally I like budgeting. I actually researched the average pricing for services and items for the wedding before I even bought my wedding dress. Not sure about you but I found sites like kijiji pretty helpful. Found my photographer/videographer whom didn’t show up on google. Although he gave me the bare bone package he did his best to work around my budget ($2000 for full day photography and videography + basic editing).
You can always cut down costs on certain items like DIY decoration, buying things on eBay rather than local like wedding cards and stationary as well. Revisit your budget breakdown and adjust your numbers! Figure out what you can reduce the cost on. If you can cancel your contract with the vendor with minimum / no penalty while finding someone else who is more afforable and reasonable then go for it!
Post # 9
- Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa
@JackiBean: If I can do it, you can, too! Our budget is also $20k, though for about 25-30 people. However, a big portion of that is groceries and dinner for the whole week for everyone (I kept telling my dad we are not obligated to feed people all week, especially in Italy where they will want to go out…), about $3k, which would cover the additional wedding dinner for the people you are having (with our figures, anyway).
Where can you cut back? We are DIY-ing flowers (budgeting $500 to buy from the market and arrange the day before), and we aren’t having a traditional American wedding cake (instead we are having millefoglie, Italian wedding cake which is included in our catering- about $100pp depending on the exchange rate). We are also planning on having an iPod playlist for music (someone will just need to switch the playlist from ceremony—>dinner—>dancing). Our biggest splurge was our photographer, which we ended up getting for $3750 (plus her food and lodging for the week, plus her plane ticket which was purchased with freq flyer miles). Our venue doubles as lodging for parents and bridal party for the week (about $5250 depending on the exchange rate). Our budget also includes renting 3 cars to get people around for the week for sightseeing ($500 per car, so $1500).
So that’s $15,000. I can’t remember where the rest of it is going. Various expenses like my dress ($600), invitations ($300), STDs ($150), cleaning fee for the villa ($240), stuff like that. We didn’t have to do rentals because our caterer is bringing in tables and chairs, etc.
Just make yourself a spreadsheetr and see where you can cut back! I understand the panic! According to my dad’s spreadsheet, we are going to be a few hundred bucks over budget, but I figure if that’s the worst of it, we are golden. PM me if you want more help!
ETA: If you like I can send you a copy of my spreadsheet 🙂
Post # 10
@gingerkitten: Oh my God, our DW is in the desert… In California. That is AMAZING! If you’re doing Italy for 20K, I am doing something majorly wrong. That is going to be one amazing wedding, though. And good call on splurging on photographer. That would be the number one place to put the money since Italy will probably look fabulous all on its own.
Thanks for all the help, ladies! This is really making me get some perspective on my problems.