- 5 years ago
- Wedding: November 2012
This upcoming weekend is my FI’s bachelor party, and of course I have obessively read one too many stories of “bachelor parties gone wrong” on the bee this week, which lead to several days of crazy bitch going on in my head.
After all the reading I did, I decided I had to OVER communicate what I was okay with, after I did give the BM the blessing that I was okay with a strip club. I am grateful that FI doesn’t really like strippers or strip clubs, and the man is head over heels in love with me, incredibly faithful and so trustworthy, but I still felt it necessary to get the crazy out of my head and into discussion, despite my trust.
So I just want to say thank you to the Bee, and encourage all of you who are uneasy about the Bachelor party, to let your inner crazy surface, because it forced me to have honest, open conversations with my FI about his party.
He knows EXACTLY what will and will not hurt me. And he knows what the outcome will be if he chooses to do the things that I identified as hurtful. I let him know that, other than true infedelity, I will not call off the marriage if he makes a mistake. I let him know that I’m not controlling his decisions, I am communicating my feelings. He accepted that if he chooses to do any of the things that I’ve laid on the table, drunkenly or sober, that he will be honest and we will deal with the pain and work through it.
I have all the faith in the world that he will make good, respecful choices. But I am fully ready to accept working through some rocky days if he messes up.
And you know what? I have never been more calm and serene, or more sure that I want to marry this man. And I encourage you all to let go of the stigma of being the party-pooping wife. Or even the stigma of being the “cool wife” and not communicating your boundaries. I know, that no matter what happens this weekend, both FI and I are agreed upon what the outcome will be, and that feels darn good.