Post # 1
yesterday a trauma nurse bestowed upon us some great words of wisdom: “this is why you get married – so you have someone to walk next to you and carry your catheter bag.” and i think he just may be right.
a little background, if you care to read my totally self-indulgent/getting-it-out ramblings:
this weekend, one of my worst nightmares came true. FI left to go on a bike ride, i couldn’t get in touch with him for awhile, and when someone eventually answered his phone, it was an ER doctor who informed me that he had been in a collision with a car and was in and out of consciousness.
the rest of that day is already kind of a blur. i was at the hospital within minutes, was kept waiting in a room by myself for what seemed like an eternity, got handed a bag of belongings and the clothes they had cut off of him, called his family, got a friend to come sit with me. at some point they brought me to the ICU to sit with him and hold his hand. it will take me a long time to get the image of him laying there out of my head. i’m glad he has no memory of it…i wish i didn’t either.
luckily, my nightmare had a happy – or as happy as i could hope for – ending. in 24 hours he went from suspected head trauma/brain damage and intubation to taking cautious steps around his bed and charming all his nurses. now we are home from the hospital. there’s a lot of scrapes and bruises, and he’s in a fair amount of pain, but he’ll make a full recovery.
thanks for letting me just get this out here. it’s amazing how cathartic it can be to dump your troubles on people who are essentially total strangers. and although this is really not wedding related, i guess you could say that in a weird way, this was a twisted bonding experience with my FILs. there was a “well now you’ve passed the test and are really part of the family” joke made at some point. and we definitely got some great words of wisdom about catheter bags. i mean marriage.
Post # 3
I’m so glad your story has a happy ending. My BF plays hockey, and I’m constantly worried he’ll end up getting horribly injured when a puck hits him in just the wrong place or someone falls and slices him with their skate.
That really is good advice, though! Marriage lasts forever, through the good times and the bad, youth and age, health and sickness.
…When my BF and I were dating in high school, I had to have ACL replacement surgery. My body didn’t like the anesthesia very much, so I ended up with a catheter for a week. My boyfriend came to visit me at home the next day. I had tried to hide the catheter and all the grossness under my blanket, but one of the tubes slipped out at some point. He grabbed it and lightly tugged, then asked what it was! I should have known that he was The One right then when he didn’t dump me after holding my pee tube.
Post # 4
@pb and j: First off I’m so glad to hear your FI is ok.
That is a great comment though, and a great way to sum up a lasting, loving relationship.
Here’s wishing him a speedy recovery.
Post # 5
I can’t imagine how scary that must have been for both of you. I’m sure you helped his quick recovery by being there for him even when he wasn’t concious.
Post # 6
@GreenEyedMoon: so true – i guess catheters can be a great litmus test for a relationship! FI started complaining about his as soon as he could talk again, i can’t imagine what having it for a week (or longer) would be like….although i think it’s much worse for men.
Post # 7
i’m so glad he’s okay! it’s amazing how terrible experiences bring families closer together. hope he recovers quickly so pb & j are a happy sammich!
Post # 8
i know how you feel on this one…last summer'(09) i got a phone call from my FH’s mother letting me know that my FH was out for a bike(bicycle, not motorcycle) ride and a truck crossed in his path and he slammed into the side of the truck. thankfully he only broke his hip, but i remember going into the ER and seeing him lying there in so much pain. i pretty much cried the next 4 days he was in the hospital.
in that instant of a phone call is when i really realized that i don’t know what i would do if it was more serious and would have lost him.
Post # 9
Thank God your FI is going to be all right!
I think it’s totally true about the catheter bag. Last month, I threw my back out to the point where I could not move. I couldn’t get up, I couldn’t even turn over. This also means that I couldn’t get to the bathroom, so FI held a bowl under me to pee in and then cleaned up me and my mess when some spilled. The most amazing part was that he did all of this, and didn’t mind doing it.
Post # 10
Oh my gosh! My heart literally skipped a beat when I read your post! I’m so glad your FI is ok!! I worry so much about mine getting into an accident and not making it…he races motorcycles, so I’m just waiting for that time he crashes and doesn’t get back up. I just want to cry thinking about it! Ack!
I’m REALLY glad that your FI is ok! And it seems like you two are even closer (and you’re close to your inlaws) because of it! Silver linings are always nice…catheter bags, not so much, but they do make for cute stories!
Post # 11
I’m so glad he is okay! And I believe it’s really true about the catheter bags. Marriage is about seeing each other at your worst – meaning, sometimes, when you do or say something terrible; when you’re not wearing make-up; when you’re ill and really need help – and still loving each other anyway. And being there for each other through the roughest of times! It’s not always cute, fun, sexy, but it’s a powerful bond if you do it right. (This is me speaking as someone who’s not married yet, of course, but I’m thinking of my parents!) What a sweet and funny comment by the nurse, and how wonderful that all is going to be all right!
Post # 12
Coming from someone whose DH was just in a motorcycle collision with a car, I’m so glad that your SO is doing so well. Remind him to TAKE IT SLOW and really milk the recovery process. I’m sorry you had to go through that, it is definitely NO FUN, but like you said, a very weird IL bonding experience.
Post # 13
I’m glad to hear your fiance is doing better! I think health issues can def. bring not only a couple closer but it brought me closer with my FILs.
Last Dec. my fiance (then bf) had 3 heart valves replaced and spent 8 days in the ICU. His mother then moved in with us for a few weeks.
It was all really tough, but made everyone’s relationship much stronger.
Post # 14
I’ so glad your FI is doing well.
Please make sure he buys a new helmet before he rides again.
Any helmet that his been impacted in an accident needs to be replaced whethere it looks damaged or not.
Post # 15
I’m glad your FH is okay.
Post # 16
ahhh i thought this post was just going to be some cute sappy post about till death do you part… and i’m soooo sorry that it wasn’t! reading this gave me the chills – i cannot imagine what it must have been like for you to go through all this. I would have been a wreck inside and i’m sure you were too. I am SO glad that he’s ok!
soon you’ll be back to focusing on the happy stuff 🙂