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I hear ya about the OCD and planning every tiny detail. What I did was went to the major websites (the Knot, Martha Stewart, etc.) and made one big list. All of the major stuff is pretty close to the same (pick venues, photographers, etc.) and then I also added any DIY projects and things I wanted to make my wedding my own.
I've been using the planning tool at MarthaStewartweddings.com. It's customizable! :) Martha also has a budget calculator, seating tool, timeline tool and a vendor tool so you can keep track of EVERYTHING. It's worth looking at.
I have a mini notebook. It goes in my purse. everytime i think of something to add i write it down and leave a line to write when it is complete. i used the ones i saw online and added to them, for example i am making monthly payments to our photographers so i have pay photo march, pay photo april etc. It isn't in order or anything but it is never far away.
i love my martha one! i've customized all my appointments and projects. PLUS she has a vendor finder and booking checklist.
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At last count, there are 987349873498734 wedding to-do checklists available on the internet. Some feature more bride-related items, some feature more reception-related items, but none of the ones I've found have listed everything pertinent to the planning process. Everytime I come on weddingbee, I find a new question that has me frantically sifting through my lists going, "Oh god! It's not there! I never would have thought of that question to ask!"
So! Does anyone have a tried-and-true checklist they'd be willing to share/send/link me to? I know if I don't have a concrete list, I will forget something vitally important/potentially awesome and be sad. Since I'm planning a year out from my date, I figure I have enough time to be a titch OCD and plan every last detail!