Post # 1
I feel like I have brought this up so many times recently but I really can’t get this out of my head and I don’t know what to do. I keep seeing and hearing people say that their wedding day was “the best day of their life” but mine wasn’t. I wanted to get married to my now DH so badly but I was not at all excited for our actual wedding. I didn’t feel the excitement that I should have felt if we had had the wedding somewhere like we pictued. But we didn’t and that they really caused it to be lackluster for me.
My DH doesn’t care about the detrails or anything that went wrong, he just focuses on all the good things and how happy he is to have married me. Why can’t I think like this? I’m so amazingly happy that I married my H but once we decided to get married we pictured our wedding to be a certain way and have a certain feel to it and we didn’t get what we wanted. Now I have to deal with the side effects of this.
How do I get over this? We only got one day and it wasn’t a dream come true. A vow renewal can’t make up for that one day that was supposed to be so special.
Post # 3
Did something go wrong? Why wasn’t your wedding what you wanted?
Post # 4
@mylittleviolett: What are the things that happened that you can’t get over?
Post # 5
I saw your recap and it looks amazing. The venue is gorgeous! what about the wedding didn’t you like?
Post # 6
@mylittleviolett: Im really sorry to hear that but I disagree when you say that a vow renewal can’t make up for it.
Choose an amazing destination and do everything that you want to do just you and your partner and have a photographer to capture it and it will more than make up for it, it will replace some of your bad memories and the main thing is that it will be exactly what you are your partner want and without all the costs.
My weddings not until next year but its just going to be me, my partner and our son… were having a dream day in a magical location without all the costs and compromises. It will be exactly what we want so nothing to regret and our photos will hopefully be incredible. Were having hiring out a hall and doing a reception kind’ve thing when we get back but the wedding day will be about the three of us.
But try to remember taht the point of the wedding is the marriage, if you have a happy marriage then there is nothing to regret about the wedding.
Post # 7
Despite what this industry tells you – your wedding day is not supposed to be the best day of your life. Something as subjective as “the best day of your life” is not an absolute and cannot be dictated by a set of rules. So what do we end up getting? Tons of brides being disappointed with their wedding because somebody told them they were to expect euphoria and perfection. A bunch of horse poo if you ask me.
Now – none of that is your fault but what went wrong? Did you have high expectations? Did somebody let you down? You ended up married to your man so you have to at least feel wonderful about that. I’m sorry your day wasn’t what you had hoped.
Post # 8
Be more specific about what you wanted and what you did and what was disappointing?
Post # 9
Nothing awful happened but we what we wanted was not what we had. We wanted our wedding to be in a magical location for example: an arboretum, a beautiful garden, in the mountains, forest, etc. With just our close family members, like 20 people tops and then to have our “reception” outside under the stars. But we were pressured by our families to have our wedding a certain way and morphed into something else. Our ceremony was in an apple orchard and our cocktail hour was outside in the gardens/patio but our reception was inside. And we had about 75 ppl. It just wasn’t intimate and outdoors enough.
Post # 10
- Wedding: October 2013 - Casa de España
@mylittleviolett: Sweetie! I think that society puts a lot of pressure in what our weddings should be like, but at the end we have to deal with what we actually have. Many weddings come with BIG loans that in the end put pressure on the marriage. To me, the most important thing is to actually have the opportunity to have a special someone in your life that understands you and makes you happy. The wedding is just a day. My FI and I are doing our wedding with what we have. We just want to have a special moment for us. I loved your pictures, your wedding was full of love. That is the ultimate reason to have a wedding, celebrating your love. I for one want a marriage bigger than my wedding. Embrace your marriage. Hope my humble advise helps. 🙂
Post # 11
You should never focus on any one day being the happiest of your life because it’s just unrealistic. Everyday you should be happier than the last…that’s the way life is supposed to be. Don’t dwell on the insignificant when there is so much to be enjoyed in life.
Post # 12
Oh, and also what disappointed me the most was that we ended up planning the wedding basically for everyone else but on our wedding day no one really cared and they were just focused on themselves. The pictures do a good job at hiding that.
Post # 13
Why would you want your wedding day to be the happiest day of your life? That means every other day isn’t as spectacular…when in reality, that’s not how life works. Just focus on how great it is that you’re married.
I don’t like my wedding pictures, but I can’t go back in time to change that. So…whatever.
Post # 14
@tails: That sounds wonderful. Maybe we can try to do something like that but for me, I’m just not sure if that would work at this point. But DH wants to do it, so its worth a try.
Thank you all for the advice. I’m going to try really hard to only focus on the fact that I live my DH and I married the most wonderful guy and NY soul mate.
Post # 15
the happiest day of your life isn’t just one single day for most folks, and sometimes is just random and unplanned. A wedding is just one day and if it’s not perfect, it doesn’t matter because you’ll have lots of other perfect days ahead.
Post # 16
@mylittleviolett: you live, you learn. There are a looooot of things I wish I knew earlier in my life 🙂 if it makes you feel better, I had a dream wedding the first time and a cheating d-bag husband. This time my SO is perfect and the wedding will be on the courthouse steps 🙂 I assume you have the important part! 🙂