The best sign of a healthy relationship is….

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Your answer?
    Agree : (101 votes)
    58 %
    Disagree : (72 votes)
    42 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2474 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I think you need an additional poll answer for “neither”. I don’t think facebook is a good representation of anyone’s relationship. I mean, sure, there are the really obvious ones where the couple calls each other out all the time on stupid stuff they do, or they complain about each other, or they’re overly mushy — we can all interpret what those mean; however, if a couple is silent about their relationship, I don’t assume everything is paradise or that everything is really messed up. They could just be private people.

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    2912 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    i read that quote on pinterest recently. i think it’s *kinda* true, but i also agree with the previous poster that you can’t really judge someone’s relationship (or any aspect of their life) by facebook.

    just from my facebook friends, i’ve noticed that oftentimes the people who are *very* open about their relationships, the good times and the bad, are always off/on with their partner or are constantly jumping from one “relationship” to another. and the ones who are not so “in your face” about it, seem to be more stable. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    2169 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @FromA2B2013:  Disagree because there is no one size fits all.

    The best sign of a healthy relationship is being happy and satisfied while being in a relationship in which two people honor each other and are honest. Whether or not that includes having the relationship be more or less public is up to the people in the couple. I would not feel comfortable making judgements about other people and what works for them unless it’s clearly some sort of toxic relationship or the person tells me about what’s not working for them.

    I prefer not to have much of my relationship on Facebook, but some of it is…such as the fact that I am in a relationship and with whom.

    Post # 6
    Member
    4698 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    How public you make your relationship is an individual thing… some healthy relationships are very public, some are very private, and the same goes for unhealthy ones. I don’t think it is a good qualifier. The best sign of a healthy relationship is trust and respect, and that means something different to everyone.

    Post # 7
    Member
    3866 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I don’t know if I 100% agree, but anecdotally, it seems to be true for my real-life friends (i.e., not just Facebook friends). Those who are in stable, happy relationships rarely mention them on Facebook, except for the occasional anniversary post or something. My friends who are in more tumultanous relationships have them on Facebook more often.

    I’m not sure if it’s a marker of a a relationship or a personality, though. You know? Quiet, calm, content people post less emotional things; while passionate, dramatic people post more? Neither is bad, but it could be the type of person, not the type of relationship.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2364 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    @FromA2B2013:  I might be confused by the question, but I don’t think I agree. 

    My FI and I tag/post/share or whatever to each other and it doesn’t really effect our relationship.  However, we don’t air our dirty laundry or anything.  We’re adults – I guess it’s all in how you use it.   

    Post # 9
    Member
    2675 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

    I don’t agree but I can see the point in some situations. FI and I mainly share pictures on Facebook and a few status updates mention eachother (like 5/year) but that’s it. I know couples who post hourly/daily or more about how much they love their “amazing hubby wubby” for taking out the trash…Most of the time these are friends who have later ended up divorced or who I talk to and they’re miserable in their relationships. So I feel like they’re overcompensating in a way.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1822 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

    I agree with a “neither” option. Facebook should have nothing to do with the strength of your relationship! And what does “no sign of it” mean? You both have “single” relationship statuses on it? You can’t have a profile picture of the two of you?

    I leave the I-love-yous off of FB but we often post things back and forth to each others’ walls; “hey look here’s a trailer to the next episode of the show we watch!” “here’s a humorous ecard that we can relate to!” or I “check in” to a sporting event with him…

    I guess we are doomed to divorce or something *rolls eyes*

    Post # 11
    Member
    534 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I answered “disagree” because of the way the question is worded.  Is the BEST sign of a healthy relationship having NO mention of it on Facebook?  Absolutely not.  Is a GOOD sign of a healthy relationship having LITTLE mention of it on Facebook?  Possibly.

    I know a couple who was always all over Facebook with “I love yous” and “This made me think of someone special today” and all that crap, and their relationship was struggling, which is why they had to be SO public about their “love.”  Eventually their relationship settled down and their Facebook updating did as well.  So in a general sense, I think too much Facebooking can be a bad sign.

    But I’m “engaged” to my fiance on Facebook and we have a few pics up and I don’t think that means we have an unhealthy relationship.

    Post # 12
    Member
    4896 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    I can’t even imagine posting about my private life on FB.  Maybe it’s an age thing.  But FB is strictly a business tool for me.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1202 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    In my circle of friends, happy couples are too busy ****ing to post anything on facebook.     

    Post # 14
    Member
    6000 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I guess I disagree because I obviously have pictures of my husband and I on Facebook. I also post the occassional picture of him with our dog if it’s super cute and put a heart next to it or something. However, we never write on each other’s walls, we don’t have back and forth conversations with each other, and we don’t go on and on about how each other are so awesome.

    Post # 15
    Member
    671 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    Unless someone is posting a lot of negative comments on FB about their S/O I don’t think it says much about their relationship at all, just about that person. They either do have a healthy relationship and are thrilled and just want to continuously talk about it or they could be attention getters. Doesn’t speak on the relationship but on the person posting.

    And people can think what they want, what does it matter? I’m not gonna hide my husband from my 60 something family members and 30 something friends on my facebook so people don’t think this way. If my husband does something super sweet or I’m just feeling extra sappy (I am pregnant too) I may post. Let people think what they want, what’s it matter anyways? If someone wants to try and dig deep into my simple sweet posting about my husband looking for hidden cues that aren’t there, so be it.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1157 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    If there’s no sign of it at all on Facebook I think you’ve got something to hide (assuming you both use it).  If your relationship status says single or nothing at all, if you have zero pictures together, if you never post anything on their wall/tag them in anything/etc…it’s weird to me.

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