Post # 1
Hey all, let me start by saying i am VERY excited to get married. I’m in my late 20’s, and like any girl, i have waited for this moment for a long time. Only only problem is, like everyone else, MONEY.
Over the years, I’ve became a very cheap person. Lots of clearance, bargain hunting, heck I even buy things off Facebook groups to save a dollar. This habit has rolled over to my wedding. The frugal person in me wants to skip favors, engagement photos, limos, chair covers, everything. I even put my dress for $100 as the store was closing, and I’m not in love with it, I just like cheap. To be honest, i’m looking forward more to the marriage then the wedding. Unfortunately everyone thinks I am nuts, probably my Fiance does too, he is just too nice to say it.
Anyone else like this? Is it wrong that I don’t want to get a bunch of random junk for just one day? I feel bad like I’m taking something away from my bridal party, future husband, and guests.
Post # 2
Nope, not wrong at all. You don’t need any of those things you mentioned (favors, engagement photos, limos, chair covers) to have a wedding. I highly doubt your guests would even notice.
As long as you’ve discussed with your fiance what kind of wedding you want and how much you want to spend, and where you want to spend it – that’s all that matters.
Post # 3
I would try to strike a balance. There’s no problem with being frugal. Heck, I could learn from you. At the same time, it does feel very extravagant to spend so much on one day. I say cut where you can. Like, you don’t have to have a signature cocktail or a 5 course meal to have a beautiful wedding. As long as you consider the comfort and enjoyment of your guests, you are a good host. For me, too, what’s on the table is so much less important than everyone sitting around it. Make a day about you and your love story, and focus on value And “bang for your buck”.
Post # 4
You don’t need any of those things. Your wedding should be a reflection of who you are.
As long as your a good host. you’re not taking anything away from anyone.
Post # 5
elyseDCB: Not wrong. All those things you listed are not necessary for a wedding. In fact, the only real requirements are a bride, groom and officiant. I agree that most of those “extras” are unnecessary expenses and they are just things that some brides want to have the ideal wedding that they have in their heads or what they feel a wedding “should” have. I don’t see the point in most of it. We are getting married at my FI’s parents house, I’m making my dress (well, skirt) and veil and I diyed some cheap walmart shoes. Your guests won’t care how much your dress costs and most people don’t care for the favors anyway. Your wedding is for you and your FI, not them.
Post # 6
I went to my friends wedding long time ago ( she got married young) and her wedding was cheap. You could tell it was done as cheap as possible and it showed. The food was terrible, no drinks besides a punch bowl, no decor, and pinic style bench seating in a church hall. There was other things but it was a long time ago so thats what sticks out in my mind 10 years later.
I probably wouldn’t have cared but this same girl had THREE showers, she was registered at an expensive store ( they are not fancy people so this just seemed gift grabby) for their wedding. I eneded up spending $600 to go to this wedding including all the girfts I bought. I later found out the wedding cost her around 1,000. So basically I almost spent her wedding budget attending her wedding.
If you are expecting gifts and money from your guests and know they are going to be shelling out big bucks they might feel slighted going to a weddig where it is clear their enjoyment was not considered to save some money like cheaping out on feeding them.
Just my experience I don’t know the full details of your wedding obviously
Chair covers yeah I could live without those , good food is a must though
Forgot to add they divorced 2 years after so I guess it’s good they didn’t spend a lot on the wedding
Post # 7
Post # 8
sway0060: You put that in a good way. I’m cheap, but I want to make sure my guests are covered. I’m willing to spend money on the venue, which we have picked out, the pictures and the DJ. (Even though it KILLS me) The rest, i feel like I could DIY and keep things as cheap as possible. I’m very simple, but just didn’t know if it was the right choice overall.
Post # 9
elyseDCB: Sounds like you are cutting costs where it is not going to affect your guests so go for it. Weddings are way to expensive lol
I just hate when people have weddings it seems like just to get gifts because they cheap out on everything. If you don’t want to pay for a big wedding I totally get that but elope instead.
Post # 10
elyseDCB: Nothing wrong with dismissing useless junk from your budget. You’re not slighting your guests by it at all. There are couples who want to buy a home, a car, start a family, etc… right after marriage but they can’t because they blew $30,000 on one day. Talk about frustration!
Your wedding should be about you and your FI, and whatever you feel comfortable with spending is just fine.
Post # 11
The biggest focus for our wedding is food, drinks, and the honeymoon. We don’t care at all about a party, we just want to be married. But our parents would like to be there and we’d like them to.
We’re not doing save-the-dates, engagement photos, bridal parties, DJ, etc…I’m doing my own hair and makeup. I got an inexpensive dress and we’re all going to dinner after at a nice restaurant.
All that other wedding stuff gives me a headache.
Post # 12
I think there’s a difference between having a wedding on a small budget and just being cheap.
You don’t need a huge affair to have a nice wedding. IMO, there are some things that shouldn’t be skimped on, the main one being food. That doesn’t mean you have to have a 7 course meal, but I think you always have to keep your guests in mind when planning a party.
What we decided to do was have a planned elopement and have a celebration party when we returned. We went to Hawaii and got married out there, so it also doubled as our honeymoon. Then last weekend we had a reception at DH’s family’s restaurant. We didn’t have favors, chair covers or a limo. We never did engagment photos either. We didn’t have a bridal party and my dress was around $150. DH wore a nice white shirt and linen pants out in Hawaii for our ceremony; for our reception party he just wore a suit he already owned. We had nice tropical flowers on the tables because I wanted to bring some of the tropics back home. We had an iPod instead of a DJ. For us, it was more important to have good food and an open bar than spending our money on things like limos (not that it’s wrong to spend money on that, just for us we didn’t want to do that). We had so many people tell us how much fun our party was.
I agree with sway0060 that if you’re having several bridal showers and pre-wedding parties, then skimp on the actual wedding, it looks bad, and people will remember that.
Post # 13
I refer to myself as a dollar store bride. Everyone makes fun of me, but I don’t even slightly care. You do what you want. Save money for important things like a house or children if you want them. A wedding is one day, and while it should be celebrated, it shouldn’t fill you with money regret.
Post # 14
If someone had all of those pre wedding parties and then was cheap about their wedding, I wouldn’t think very highly of that person. Frugal is fine. Selfish is not.
Post # 15
elyseDCB: everything you mentioned are nice to have items. its fine if you don’t want to spend a ton of money for a wedding. if you have a good number of guests traveling to be with you, just make sure that you make them generally comfortable. have good food (don’t run out) and a few (alcoholic) drink options.
sadly the the worst wedding I’ve been to was my FSIL who did a low cost wedding. I flew a thousand miles to be with her, and was voluntold/volunexpected to help her prepare (no one asked me or told me help was needed beforehand) with washing 300+ plates (by myself by hand and no sponge), prepping food, and moving tables/chairs. The food cooked by her friends (not caterers) was inedible – chicken was dry overcooked and didnt have seasoning, potatoes were undercooked and still had dirt on them, etc. I was hungry the entire night. Thankfully she had 50 bottles of red wine so I just went for that. Don’t do this.