Post # 1
In a nutshell.
My parents are paying and we are not inviting kids on my side. Period.
His side . Bigger family . 14 kids (3 that are under 10 years) Rest are tweens to age 20,
his mom wants kids there esp because some are out of town.
This will be a rowdy party and I don’t want them there. Plus without them ,we can invite more friends.
So I was thinking to get them a suite. Or just let them hang in the bridal suite is this too much to ask?! We are close to a huge mall so maybe the older kids could see a movie. Ughhhh so stressed out over this. But I feel like a jerk if they paid airfare to come watch a movie and not go to the wedding.
Looking for helpful info. Not just ‘don’t invite them ‘ thanks !
P.s I think I posted this in the wrong spot
Post # 3
Ask their parents, see if they have an idea what the teens would like to do… that’s all I can think of.
Post # 4
How are the kids related to your FI? Are they his siblings? Nieces and nephews?
How does your FI feel about it?
Regardless of your answer to the above questions, I would say you definitely need to invite those over 18. I’ll save the rest for after I know the answer to these questions…
Post # 5
1 nephew age 10
The rest are cousins . He’s torn too. His sibling is having kids there, both sides.
Post # 6
@asb983: I attended a wedding where the couple rented out two attached hotel rooms and paid two women from church to babysit. The guests were asked to find a babysitter and if they couldn’t they were given directions of where to drop off the kids (only RSVP children went). My younger siblings were dropped off and they had so much fun. The sitters took the kids to the pool and set up a movie night. The wedding lasted until 2 a.m and parents just had to go and pick up their sleeping kids on the way home.
*Kids were welcome to go to ceremony and were dropped off during cocktail hour 🙂
Post # 8
Oh, last question. Are any of them nursing infants?
Post # 9
@Payless: That sounds like a good idea. That was smart of them
Post # 10
I would have been REALLY insulted at 16 if someone suggested my parents get a babysitter.
By 16, you’re looking at colleges and getting ready for the real world. Just stick them all at one table, and make sure the waiters know not to serve alcohol to that table.
Post # 11
@BrandNewBride: no not for them . And if I have one family with kids it’s rude to not to ask another family. Thanks for your suggestion.
Post # 12
@Jess1483: no infants. Youngest is 4 .
Post # 13
Ok, then here’s what I say (and keep in mind, I had kids at my wedding, and no one got crazy or ruined anything, and we all had a lovely time).
I think you need to invite kids ages 16+. Either that, or offer to pay those 16+ to babysit the others. But you do need to invite 18+. They aren’t children, they are adult family members.
Under 16, I think you should offer 2 hotel rooms. One with a sitter and one without, but with movies, snacks, etc. Parents choose which room their child goes to. I would have been offended at 14 to be watched by a sitter in a hotel room, but I would have thought it was the COOLEST.THING.EVER. to hang out in a hotel room with my cousins alone. Those old enough to police themselves could still be nearby to the sitters in case they needed something.
Then, you call (or have FI call) each parent, and explain to them the options. “We are so excited to have you all in town for the wedding. We’ve arranged XXXX or XXXX for care for Child1 and Child2. Which would your child like best?” If they push back with “Well, they’d like to be at the wedding with us,” you repeat “I’m sorry, we aren’t able to accommodate children under 16. What should we sign the kids up for?”
Do you not want them at any part of the wedding? Or are they invited to the ceremony but not reception? And it’s all in one place, right? At the hotel?
Post # 14
I’d have been very insulted at 18-20 to be sent to a kids’ room.
Post # 15
Our rule was if they weren’t old enough to be left without a babysitter, they weren’t old enough to be at the wedding. That made it like 12+. I think even at 16 I would have been highly annoyed to be sent to a kids room…..
Post # 16
@Jess1483: I so appreciate that you get where I’m coming from..
yes this is all at one hotel.
16 & up is a great idea. However, as a guest (friend of bride and groom)if you saw that family had a 16 year old there would you be offended that your own 16 year old wasn’t invited ?