- 8 years ago
- Wedding: July 2011
Well, Bees, I could use a little advice. So please feel free to throw in your two cents (and then some) to help me ease my troubled mind. (Sorry this is going to be a long one!)
I always thought that as soon as a girl got engaged, she would run to the phone, call her best girl friends, and ask them to be her bridesmaids. It should be just that easy. But not with me. I got engaged back in early April, I’m getting married next July, and I still haven’t asked my bridesmaids. I know I have time, but I feel like my planning is at a standstill until I know who will be by my side at the altar. MY FI and I both agreed to have 6 attendants. I know we could do uneven numbers, but 6 just feels right for both of us.
Here’s the problem: I don’t know which 6 to have. I have my sister to be my MOH, my best friend A and my college friend A that I know FOR SURE will be with me. I then have my high school friend H, who frankly will be SHOCKED that I am asking her since we hardly talk anymore, but I can’t imagine not having her standing up with me. And then I want my 16-year-old cousin S to be a bridesmaid because as the youngest cousin (by a lot) and only child, I really think it would be fun for her to be involved with all the older girls. (And my mom already told her mom I’m going to ask her!)
So that leaves 1 open spot and 3 close friends. One, let’s call her Sally, has been my very, very close friend since high school. The only problem is that she’s terribly unreliable. As in, she’s late for everything, very flighty, and a bit of an attention lover. But she’s tons of fun and I’m really hoping she’d step up to the plate for all the wedding festivities. And honestly, though I love my other 2 friends in question, I would feel horrible not having Sally by my side. Plus, the other 2 and I just aren’t as close as I am with Sally. My other friends, FI and family don’t think it’s a good idea to have her as a bridesmaid, but I know I’ll regret it if I don’t. I guess I’m just overly optimistic, but I really think if I ask her, I’ll be able to count on her. Is that foolish of me? Should I talk to her and tell her how I feel before asking her?
So then that leaves the other 2 girls. My FI had the brilliant idea to include them as greeters/program passer-outers (for lack of a better word). So they could still get a corsage, still come to the rehearsal dinner, still be included in the pictures, and still have a role in our wedding day. Does that sound like a good idea? What would I call them? And how would I ask them?
I think my biggest fear is that I’m going to hurt someone’s feelings. I know, I know, it’s my day, but that doesn’t make me feel any better. So should I include my friend if it feels right? Should I just talk to her and be upfront about my concerns? What should I do with my other 2 friends? Is that a wussy role or something they can be excited about? Please help!