The Buzz: Does it matter to you and your SO who makes more money?

posted 3 years ago in Weddingbee
  • poll: Who makes more money in your relationship?
    I do : (48 votes)
    32 %
    My SO does : (79 votes)
    53 %
    It's roughly equal : (22 votes)
    15 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3557 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I make more money than FI, and it is likely that I always will as I plan on getting my PhD. It used to bother him a bit, but he’s had enough time to wrap his head around the idea now and he doesn’t mind at all. Even though I make more money than FI, my job is a lot less strenuous and I work far fewer hours than he does, so I do more of the housework than he does simply because I am home more. We do agree that if anyone is going to be a stay at home parent it is going to be him. He likes children more than I do and he’s better with them.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1157 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    My SO makes more money than I do. Naturally, he takes up more of the finanacial responsibilities than I do. In the domestically we are balanced. We are both tired after a long day at work so we share the chores etc. My SO always jokes about being a stay at home dad and I really believe he would do it so if I was the main breadwinner, I doubt he would have a problem with it. He would be delighted as a matter of fact!

    Post # 6
    Member
    4513 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I make more money. It doesn’t affect anything domestically – we split everything. If he stayed home then yeah I would expect him to do more, but he works full time too so we both have the same amount of free time. He is comfortable with me being the breadwinner. Honestly we have talked about the possibility of him being a stay at home dad in the future and he is okay with the idea. I don’t think we’ll ever need to do that, but its nice to know that he would be willing to if necessary.

     

    I work with a girl who makes more than her husband. While they both are fine with it, his mother is not and suggests that her DIL take a paycut and demotion just so that her son won’t be making less than her! Its crazy!

    Post # 7
    Member
    10494 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    Unfortunately, we’ve never been dual income earners for long.  He’s been the single income earner and so have I.

    We laughed at a message board that asked how you deal when your wife makes more money than you – You enjoy it!

    DH and I would both be thrilled if I ended up with a job making more than he currently does.

    If you gave me 2 unequal salaries though and had to decide who earned which one, I would give the higher salary to DH just for security, I have chronic health problems and he doesn’t.

    Who earns what isn’t related to who does what around the home or who pays the bills, that’s just dependent on who is capable and has the time.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2696 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    We make about the same and we probably wouldn’t care if either one of us made more than the other. IT’S ALL GOING IN THE SAME POT is how we feel.

    Post # 9
    Member
    6507 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    DH makes more money. We split household chores evenly. I would never consider splitting up chores based on salary. I could see someone doing more if they worked part time as opposed to their SO working full time but I think splitting it up based on salary even if you work the same amount of time is strange.

    He wouldn’t care if I made more money because we share money so it just means more money for us 🙂

    Post # 10
    Member
    2372 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

    I make more than SO, about 10k more a year.

    It really doesn’t matter to us, because once we got a joint account we never looked back to “his” money and “my” money, its OUR money. We dump it all in the joint account, pay bills, and then right now we are pretty much saving the rest (well, or using it for the wedding!) so we have the same goals and financial plans. It really helps that we are on the same page for our financial future, and that we have the same spending habits (that is, to NOT spend mostly haha) for us to see it as ours and not get hung up on his and mine.

    In the future, we will probably take the extra money (after we have built up our savings nest again) and split it between us for our individual accounts, and we will probably do it by %… for instance if I make 30% more than he does, then I will get 30% more money for my own account. And then that money is ours to do with what we please.

    It doesn’t bother FI in the slightest that I make more, again because we see it as a joint effort. Also, he LOVES his job and I LOVE mine, and they are both so different! I couldn’t do his and he couldn’t do mine. So we each appreciate and respect each other’s job, and there’s no feeling of “competition”.

    We also are very even on housework. We will probably each have separate tasks we prefer to do (for instance I will always pick cleaning the bathroom over doing the dishes) but overall I believe they will be equal. We work equal hours, so we will share the work equally too. If it ever happened that one of us worked only part time or stayed at home, then that person would probably pick up a bunch more of the work.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1689 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    If you’re in a dual-income relationship, who earns more  money?

    Me

    If you earn more money, does it affect your emotional  relationship? Does it affect the way you run your household (is your SO expected  to handle more domestic chores)?

    FI comes from a household where his mother was the breadwinner, so he isn’t remotely fazed.  We work as equal partners on our goals and in our household.

    If your spouse earns more money, are your domestic chores  balanced, or do you tip the household chore divvy one way or the  other? 

    We are pretty well split, but I work more hours so I tend to be away from the house more.  When I get home, we split chores, but while I’m working and he’s home, he works on fixing things around the house or cooking dinner.

    Would your SO be/is your SO comfortable with you being the  breadwinner of the household? (You may want to ask them directly to answer this  one! An interesting discussion!)

    Yes

    Post # 12
    Member
    5697 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    If you’re in a dual-income relationship, who earns more money?

     

    We each earn almost exactly 50% of our total income

     

    Would your SO be/is your SO comfortable with you being the breadwinner of the household? (You may want to ask them directly to answer this one! An interesting discussion!)

     


    No he does not care, but I do in a way. What I don’t like is that it seems as though I will HAVE to end up being the breadwinner if we want to have a certain lifestyle, because he is not motivated to make more. He’s comfortable where he is and getting his annual increases.  It’s more about the lack of options such as not having the choice to be a SAHM if I did want to etc, that bothers me about possibly ending up being the bread winner

    ETA: Oops – on the subject of chores… if I really listed it out, it would probably be fairly balanced, although I feel like I do more (i probably really don’t). It’s mostly because a) he gets home earlier than I do, then I get home at 6 and work on making dinner and feel like he’s been relaxing forever and b) I do more projects and organizing stuff around the house. To be fair he doesn’t care about those things, I do, so I can hardly hold that against him in the splitting of household chores.

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    1470 posts
    Bumble bee

    He makes a shit ton more than me. I left my high paying job to begin a career in a field I felt did more good in the world and just when I thought I couldn’t take my itty bitty paychecks anymore and I wanted to go crawling back to my old work *bam* met my SO. #winning haha jk but honestly, it works out that he does so well, he’d probably love it if I made more but he believes in what I do too and we’re a one big pot couple so even if I did make more than him it wouldn’t matter.

    Edited to actually answer the thread:

    If your spouse earns more money, are your domestic chores  balanced, or do you tip the household chore divvy one way or the  other? 

    Domestic chores are balanced; just because he makes more doesn’t mean he works any harder than I do. He might actually do a bit more because he’s just better at cleaning than I am lol

    Would your SO be/is your SO comfortable with you being the  breadwinner of the household? (You may want to ask them directly to answer this  one! An interesting discussion!)

    Yes

     

     

    Post # 14
    Member
    502 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    FH makes more than I do. I don’t think it’d be an issue if I made more than him but my goal is to get much, much closer to equal to him.

    Even though he does make over double what I do he still helps me with stuff around the house, he may actually clean more often than I do if I’m going to be totally honest. I do at least 90% of the cooking but it’s mostly because I’m a better cook. I don’t feel like our salaries effect anything besides who pays the most bills actually…

    Post # 15
    Member
    1007 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I make significantly (about 2.5) more than my husband, BUT he works his a$$ off and I do not. So, I take care of most of the household chores. It does not bother him that I am the breadwinner, but he will occasionally make comments about how much harder he works than me but doesn’t make near what I make. But we completely share finances, so who brings in the cash is irrelevant. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    3077 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    If you’re in a dual-income relationship, who earns more money?
    Definitely my SO. She makes over triple what I bring home now.

    If you earn more money, does it affect your emotional relationship? Does it affect the way you run your household (is your SO expected to handle more domestic chores)?
    No it doesn’t affect how the household is run. It occasionally bothers me that I make so little but I also chalk that up to the fact that I’m still in school & am making a little more than half of what I would if I could work fulltime. I don’t think either of us feels that the other should have to “earn their keep” by doing housework just because they make less money.

    If your spouse earns more money, are your domestic chores balanced, or do you tip the household chore divvy one way or the other?
    If they’re tipped in any direction, it’s actually probably toward my SO. She does more cleaning than I do because she’s more anal about how neat and clean things need to be. But overall, things tend to be divided pretty fairly I think.

    Would your SO be/is your SO comfortable with you being the breadwinner of the household? (You may want to ask them directly to answer this one! An interesting discussion!)
    If I happened to make really good money and SO just made good money, she’d be fine. If she wasn’t making what she deemed to be “enough”, she wouldn’t be happy. I don’t think my income comparatively matters. But I’ll ask!

    Leave a comment


    Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

    Find Amazing Vendors