The Buzz: How do you maintain friendships while married?

posted 3 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 3
5207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@Mrs. Mouse:  We were friends for 2 years before we started dating so we already had the same social circle. It was very important to us that we keep our friends even though we’re married and have a life of our own now. One of the guys in our “group” did that when he got married and it’s pretty sad how a 20+ year friendship can end so quickly. We spend time with our friends at least once a week. We have no reason not to.

Post # 4
1428 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rosehill Community Center

On his side, we have a friend group of mostly married couples, so that makes it pretty easy to get together with friends.  The ladies in the group have a book club that meets monthly, which is the best excuse ever to hang out (especially since we don’t care too much if not everyone has read the book!).

On my side, it’s been harder.  I’ve admittedly not been the best friend, and don’t see my best friend even as much as I’d like.  But we are good about keeping up traditions (certain events we established a few years ago are still going strong!) so we at least have that.  It needs to be a bigger priority!

Post # 5
3833 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We got out together as a couple with our mutual friends, but still meet up with friends one-on-one. We also accept some invitations even if not both of us can make it – for example, every year I go to a Penn State game with my college friends. DH has never been able to go because of his schedule (we’ve done this for 5 years now), but that doesn’t mean I can’t go see my friends.

When we invite people over (we like to host small parties), we invite couple friends and single friends alike. By hosting, we show our friends that we are making an effort to keep them in our lives, and I think that helps a lot.

Something else that helps is that we’re not super lovey-dovey or very into PDA in public. A few of our single friends have mentioned that we are the only couple they don’t feel like a 3rd wheel around. To me, that’s important. There’s nothing wrong with a quick kiss, but making your friends feel awkward is only going to drive them away.

Post # 6
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Honestly, it’s not a priority for us. We spend a lot of time with our family and we socialize as a couple with other couples when time permits. Otherwise, we don’t worry about it too much. 

Post # 7
1662 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Mrs. Mouse:  Mostly through our sporty hobbies, which are different. He does crossfit with his brother, and plays rugby. He hangs out with his rugby buddies after practice too. He also has football season tickets with his dad and brothers and cousins. His best friends are probably his 2 brothers and his cousins.

I’me into triathlons. I do a ladies swimming group and sometimes I make plans with some of those girls for running or swimming with coffee afterwards. I also will occasionally meet up with other friends coffee or shopping. I like being alone though, so often I’ll choose a solo activity if DH is busy.

We have some couple friends, but we don’t see them as often. It’s too bad, our couple friends are the most rad people but it’s difficult to coordinate 4 people’s schedules.

Post # 8
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We were together for 8 years before marriage and our social lives haven’t changed much since then, except we have more married/long-term co-habiting than we when we were first together. We have great friendships, many spanning over 20/30 years, and we continue to make new friends. This is not an issue for us. 

Post # 9
2070 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor

I don’t think getting married changed our social life at all. We hang out with friends once or twice a week. Most of our friends are other couples, so we’ll go on double dates or hang out as a group. Some of my husband’s friends are single, so he’ll hang out with them one-on-one or they’ll go out to the bars together a couple times a month. 

Right now, we don’t have kids, and we love getting out and going on dates, so we go on dates with just the two of us a couple nights a week, and we try to meet up with friends once or twice a week. 

Post # 10
7929 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I didn’t really notice any change in my friendships after I got married. Maybe this is because we already lived together. We’d already found that balance. It was never a problem when we were dating and living together either though.

We’ve both always believed that it’s important to do things independently, so we’ve always hung out with our own friends both with and without each other.

Post # 11
8282 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Nothing has changed since being married. When I want to see my friends, I see them. 

Post # 12
6951 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@Rubbs:  +1 How is this an issue? I see my friends when I see my friends because magically I am able to function without my man. 

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