The choices we make….

posted 2 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
5207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

MsGinkgo:  I met DH when I was pretty young (15) so there’s not much I could have changed at that point anyway. There’s little things in life I would have done differently, be nicer to others, be nicer to myself, called my Grandma more often (she passed away last year). 

Post # 3
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

MsGinkgo:  I met my FI our first week of university, we lived in the same residence tower. And I actually regularly say its lucky I chose to go to that university! I was leaning toward the one near my parents to live at home, but chose the farther school and residence living. SO GLAD I did! We would have never met and my whole life would literally be so different. Its a choice I’m thankful to seventeen year old me for making.

Post # 4
Member
6621 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I was married to my ex husband for ten years before we divorced.  I am remarried now with a daughter from my new marriage. Sometimes I still get mad/sad about what happened, but then I look at my perfect little girl and think how I would not have her if things didn’t play out the way they did. Its impossible to imagine life without her.

Post # 6
Member
325 posts
Helper bee

 

I dated someone from 13-17 years old and then we split for the first year of university so we both could breath and have some freedom. We were on the road to reconciling when he was killed in a car crash – I can’t begin to tell you how that still haunts me to this day. 

‘ One day, whether you are 14, 28 or 65 you will stumble upon someone who will start a fire in you that cannot die. However, the saddest, most awful truth you will ever come to find  is that they are not always with whom we spend our lives’ 

My husband is my world and my rock and the most amazing father. Doesn’t mean I don’t wonder sometimes – what if we had never split up? What if he hadn’t been in that car that night? 

 

ETA: so I suppose my ‘choice’ was one that was made for me – whether by fate or by God. 

Post # 8
Member
766 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

So mine is a blessing in disguise kind of thing…  The summer before my senior year of college, my mom was diagnosed with extensive stage small cell lung cancer. My parents insisted that I would finish my last year uninterrupted but I decided that rather than staying in the Philly area to work and continue with my voice teacher (I was a music major in college and intended to move on to pursue graduate work), that I wanted to move home to spend that year with my Mom who would die within the next year according to the doctors.  

The only job I could find as a recent graduate with a degree in music was substitute teaching which was… okay.  I liked it enough that I applied for a paraeducator position for a new online language program the school was bringing in.  I interviewed and I got the job.  While the first year in my job was really hard (I received minimal training and neither I nor the students knew what to expect) but I decided to stick it out for this year.  

Meanwhile, (and this is where things get a little strange) I made friends with one of our school security guards who was old enough to be my father and everyone thought we were dating.  Like, we got pulled into human resources repeatedly even though NOTHING was going on.  

I decided that I wanted that to date, even if only to combat the rumors that I was dating the security guard (yes, I know, a really really stupid reason) so as a birthday gift to myself, I signed up for Christian Mingle.  Two days later, this guy messages me who seems really nice.  And on Saturday, I marry that guy.  🙂

Mom is doing great.  She isn’t cancer free but more than three years later (a year and a half past the “best case scenario”), she is still with us and doing very well.  I feel incredibly blessed.  When Mom was diagnosed and told two years was the absolute best case scenario, I gave up on the idea that she would see me get married.  That she gets to be here for this is… words can’t express how blessed I feel.  

My second year in my job has started off amazingly well.  Really.  The hard work I put in last year was worth it.  In my review by the company that makes the program I work with the kids on, they asked me to write a guidebook on how to do what I do for people doing the same job around the country.  

I also realized through this, that I LOVE working with kids.  I never thought I would like teaching or be good at it, but I am.  So I am starting my masters in education in the spring with the intention of making my career as a teacher.  

And all of this happened because I decided to move home after graduation instead of living in Philly.

 

Post # 10
Member
2013 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

 

MsGinkgo:  I like hearing others who feel like their lives have fallen into place. I love getting nostaligic and thinking about some of the choices that led me to where I am now. I feel lucky for the way things have turned out thus far.

I’ve loved, lost and learned a lot. Got out of a 3 year relationship with a man after I admitted outloud that I hated the person I was with him, met a man I thought was the man of my dreams. I loved fast and hard and got dumped on my ass 8 months later. I learned to take it slower and read the signs. I took a 6 month dating hiatus and became friends with the man I hope to call my husband after 6 years of dating.

Outside of my relationship status my life has progressed in an awesome way too, took me 6 years to get through my associates degree (school part-time and working fulltime.) I’ll graduate with my Bachelors degree next May after only 2.5 years (pulled my head out and started going full time while working full time ;))

Life is amazing. Everyone I know has gotten better with age, my friends have grown so much. 🙂

Post # 11
Member
60 posts
Worker bee

 

MsGinkgo:  This is a lovely thread! From your OP and your responses to other people, you seem like a lovely person. Good luck to you!

I began dating FI when I was so very close to moving out of town and starting again nearer my parents after several failed romances left my confidence rock bottom. With a wedding on the way and a beautiful baby, I’m so glad I stuck it out!

Post # 12
Member
769 posts
Busy bee

Yes, totally!

Before meeting FI, I was in a horrible marriage with an abusive guy. I always wondered what if I had never met/married him. Well, if I hadn’t, I would not be living in the US (I am from EU) and consequently meet the love of my life. So  I guess for me, everything fell into place although it took a while to get where I am today 🙂

Post # 14
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

MsGinkgo:  

This is an interesting thread.

I met my first boyfriend in college. The only reason I met him was because my roommate had been talking to him via facebook over the summer before school started and she liked him. I hadn’t made friends yet so I went along with her and he and I hit it off really well. He asked me out a week later and we dated for three years. I went home with him a few times (he is from New Zealand) and I loved his family and his family loved me. Everyone thought we would get married, in fact he told me, at the end of our relationship, that he had wanted to propose when he graduated. But in a moment of weakness he cheated on me and confessed 2 weeks later. I couldn’t get passed it and was devastated. Not being with him hurt so deeply, but I couldn’t get over what he had done.

Two days after he confessed, I met a guy at a coffee shop. He had been dancing ballet professionally for years decided that he wanted to move back home to teach and was spending the evening at a coffee shop because he didn’t really know anyone in town anymore aside from his family. I was there because I couldn’t stand to be on campus- everything there reminded me of my soon to be ex. We became friends, I broke up with my ex, and after a few weeks he confessed that the main reason he had moved back home was because he had found out that his fiancée had been cheating on him with the principal dancer at their company for months and he couldn’t handle going through that so far away from any sort of support group. We had both gone through something similar, and it was just really nice to be able to talk to someone who had been hurt like I had. 

He told me he had feelings for me early on, but I wanted to take things slow and he agreed. We stayed friends for AGES. I’m not even kidding. But he finally did ask me out, when I was starting to think that he had changed his mind (lol) and a year later he asked me to marry him. 🙂

I always wonder what would have happened if my ex hadn’t cheated on me, or if I hadn’t decided to go to the coffee shop that night. FI and I think it was fate though, that we had both been through something horrible and ended up finding each other in the end. 

Also, it’s a happy ending for everyone… My ex has so far stayed in the states (he rents a place next to my best friend, oddly enough) and he has been seriously dating someone for almost a year now, and from what I have heard they are very happy.

I’m really happy about how everything has turned out for us all in the end.

 

  • This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by  MrsRoberts52.
Post # 15
Member
3385 posts
Sugar bee

MsGinkgo:   I used to a lot.  there are some things that I regret.  Choices I made, and decisions I did as well, but when I go down that path, I think, every single choice and decision I made, made me who I am today, and I like who I am now.  And I love the life I now have.  I was stupid when I was younger, but never hardcore into partying, sex or drugs, but some of the decisions I made did hurt people and I have lost a few friends to it as well.  But in the end, I had to do what was best for me, and I had a lot of toxic friends when I was younger, so burning those bridges were probably some of the best decisions I ever made.

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