Post # 1
I was so excited to start making concrete wedding plans and booking our venues until I went to the church.
I currently live in Michigan, but will moving to and having the wedding in NY next year. I called the church to get information and set up an appointment and the woman I spoke to was super friendly and sounded excited for us and was very welcoming (FYI we are not members of the church, but will allow non-members to have a wedding for a fee). When I called to set up an appointment to lady was over the moon and said she would let us see the majority of the grounds (it’s on very picturesque grounds). Even when we called to let her know that we were lost, she was still very nice, but when we got there her tone was different almost as if she didn’t want us there anymore. We could not see the grounds like she said we should and even the part that we were able to see, she pointed us in the direction and then left. She even told us that maybe we should look into other places.
I am so down about this… Why the sudden cold shoulder? She even seemed annoyed when I asked her to email pictures that she VOLUNTEERED to email. I guess I just needed to vent. Silver lining, one of the ministers seemed very friendly…
Post # 3
The only (unfortunate) thing that I could think is that she judged you in some way as soon as she saw you. Not really the best attitute to have as a “godly” person working in a church, but probably the reality. I’d look at other venues!
Post # 4
That’s really weird. Was there any communication between setting up the meeting and when you called for directions? If so maybe something small set her off? Personally that would put me off if the lady acted like that if she has anything to do with the weddings there. But she could have just been having a bad day. I would just be very polite in my follow ups and see how she acts from there on.
Post # 5
that’s really weird, but at least you know now that they’re not worth dealing with
Post # 6
@Kabira1208: I’m going to just ask you this, not to be offensive, and not because I think the person from the church was at all justified, but are you and your FI different races? I ask because I’m mixed and SO is white, and we do sometimes get looks…not very often, but it does happen. And when it happens, it sucks! And when it happens from someone who is supposed to be representing God, it REALLY sucks! But I’ve found unfortunately that sometimes, those who work in the “supporting roles” in churches (i.e. secretaries, committee members etc) can be the most judgemental.
Hope I didn’t offend you by asking-maybe she just discovered she had a hemorrhoid or something!
Post # 7
I don’t get it she seemed freindly when we called for directions, it was less than ten minutes between the call and arriving. We are an African American couple, but aI would hope that had no reall part in her rudeness… the olny other thing I can think of is that I had my moh there and maybe she thought we were a polygamous group… couple?? IDK… Part of me is tempted to be an *ss and pick them anyway… I’m sure she would love to become real close with me…
Post # 8
@Kabira1208: Unfortunately some people are ignorant. I really hope your race had nothing to do with it. Hope you find the best place to get married!
Post # 9
this sounds pretty straightforward. She took one look at you and changed her mind about being nice to you. For the record, I arrived at this before I scrolled down and saw that you were African American. I don’t know the race of the lady who dealt with you or the general racial makeup of the congregation, but it is not at ALL uncommon for me to have had a conversation with someone on the phone, have them fall in love with me, then all the energy leave their body when they actually SEE me.
Post # 10
This happened to me at on of the venues I looked at. I ended up looking elsewhere.